Fie In The Sky

NO! That Is Not A Typo

Be very careful, the last fifteen people who tweaked my tail about this are now nothing more than vague clouds of radioactive vapour.  Yes the Remote Nuclear Detonator got a real workout today.

     First of all, no it is nothing to do with "Fire In The Sky" which has a familiar ring to it - hang on, message from Steve and Oscar* coming through - ah yes, a line from Deep Purple's classic "Smoke On The Water" - "Smoke on the water, fire in the sky".  Art!

     Here an aside.  Yes, already!  Way back when in the Seventies when Conrad first heard this song, he was of the opinion that the whole conflagration was caused by a careless smoker.  He heard the line as " - some stupid with a fag-end burned the place to the ground" because at the time there were public service broadcasts - hmmm that has a strangely familiar ring to it - detailing how falling asleep in bed with a lit fag was a death sentence delayed.  Art!

     The closest I could find.  The original had a firing squad who let fly when their NCO shouted "FIRE!" at which point the unfortunate smoking sleeper became a human casserole.

     Back to 1971.  Deep Purple were in Montreaux to record, and were witnesses to the casino there burning to the ground during a Frank Zappa concert, because -

Frank Zappa and the Mothers were at the best place around,

But some stupid with a flare gun burned the place to the ground.

     Ah.  A flare gun.  Not a cigarette.  Well, fifty years ago we didn't have the internet nor Shazam, so I don't think too badly of me.

     Nor is the title anything to do with "Pie In The Sky" which is a British aphorism meaning anything wanted yet unattainable.  Doubtless there's been a cookery show of the same title - allow me a second or two to Google-fu.  Art?

     Conrad guesses correctly.

     So what IS this Intro about?  I thought you'd never ask!  Art!

     The Cretinous Chemtrails Conspiracy is what.  I don't know why the Beeb gave them kudos and credence by even mentioning them, but there it is.  Doubtless the swivel-eyed loonwaffles are clutching themselves in glee that the Main-Stream-Media covered them, despite them hating the MSM, because everyone knows a tinfoil-beanie-wearing troglodyte living in their parent's basement is easily far more competent than a professional journalist.  Art!

     This ought to put their silly idea to bed.  The CCCs believe that aircraft contrails are proof of Them spraying the population with SINISTER MIND CONTROLLING CHEMICALS or some such shizzle, in which case how can they possibly be suspicious?

     Contrails are a phenomenon where water vapour condenses at height.  You can see the South Canadian bombers above leaving contrails as they fly at height.  The CCCs would have you believe that they're spraying SINI - actually probably EVIL POISON GAS or some such shizzle, which again is ludicrous.  They carry tons of bombs, what on earth would be the reason to spray a toxic vapour at such height that it would disperse to uselessness on the way to earth, if not be neutralised by extreme temperatures or UV light?  Art!

This Sceptred Isle 1940

     Here you have the Teutons laying 'chemtrails' over London in 1940.  Well, they were a waste of time, weren't they?  What were they supposed to do, alter the chemical composition of tea and so break the British spirit?  Fie, I say.

     Bah!  There you go, enough frothing rancour for an Intro.  Better go start the stew.

In The Dark

That's how I like to sit, all the better to plot world domination.  Youtube and Netflix a dreadful distraction; you should be grateful for them.

     ANYWAY the BBC - the font of all that's fit to be writ - has another themed photography exhibition, this time on the theme of "In The Dark", and if Art will put down his bowl of anthracite -

Courtesy Callum Collie

     According to the photographer, this picture was taken in Dumfries and Galloway, with Mister Fox being on the lookout for any mobile toothsome morsels.  One is surprised it's not looking at the camera.

     I thought you'd like to know that next week's stew is on the go.  Conrad has decided not to add in a jar of Marmite-flavoured peanut butter in order to avoid getting bored of it.  After all, MFPB is a wasting asset.

Fire In The Sky

Sorry, couldn't resist.  Okay, let us now switch back to "The War Illustrated" and one of their 'background' stories that focus on they who also serve and wait.  Art!

     The ground staff here give you an idea of how many personnel it took to maintain and service one of the RAF's big four-engined bombers.  The chaps at top are hauling boxes of incendiary bombs, nasty little rascals that liked setting fire to things.  Below at port is a WAAF taking meteorological readings at the top of a ladder; doubtless just out of shot is an RAF MP to ensure no Other Ranks 'accidentally' pass by in order to look upward.  Her compatriot is chalking a message on a bomb - unlikely to ever be read by a living Teuton but you never know.  And the picture at bottom shows how many people it took to 'bomb-up' one of the four-engined jobs, as well as displaying a 'cookie', the innocuous nickname for a monstrous 2 ton bomb.  The Brylcreem Boys had to be AT LEAST a mile above their target if dropping one of these because the blast was so severe.  Yeah.  You take the Brits on at total war, better bring your best game.

     

Speaking Of Which

Let us now adjourn to "The Sea Of Sand" where The Fourth Doctor and Sarah were bumbling around, trying to discern why the Time Lords had diverted them to an obscure supply dump in the middle of the Libyan desert.

Being escorted past a pyramid of wooden crates labelled “WO 13d 40mm 2lb AP”, the Doctor stopped and leant against the dirty, dusty timbers.

          ‘Why, the so-called Temple complex is actually a collection of construction material that doesn’t originate on Earth.  It has a purpose as far removed from Professor Templeman’s “religious observance” as it’s possible to be.’

          The young officer stared at the Doctor, shook his head, looked at Sarah and gestured for them to continue moving.

          Whatever Captain Dobie might have wanted went by the board within ten seconds.  From the west a moving column of dust could be seen, approaching Mersa Martuba across the desert flats.  A watching sentry atop an angled ladder projecting from one of the mud huts set to working a hand-cranked siren, which sent a wheezy warning across the depot.

          ‘Get to a trench!’ shouted Roger.  ‘It might be the Eyeties!’

          ‘Who are –‘ began the Doctor, until Sarah dragged him across a trackway and into a shallow trench, bordered with sandbags.  Other soldiers could be heard running, shouting and arming weapons.

          ‘ – the Eyeties?’ he finished plaintively, crouching down below the parapet.

          Lieutenant Llewellyn cursed the fact that he’d left his helmet in his tent, fumbled his Webley revolver from it’s holster and prepared to die valiantly.

          ‘The Italians,’ explained Sarah.  Her uncles had instilled a sense of mocking scorn about “The Eyeties” of desert war lineage.  Scorn was harder to come by if they were about to storm your pathetically shallow protection.

     Actually I'm not sure that the War Department - they didn't mince politically correct words in those days! - would class 2 pounder ammunition in millimetres.  You may try to rebut me if you wish.

Finally -

Blimey!  I have found that I can do a Snip of my blog's geographical stats, which is great, because photographs always always always pick up synchrony bars, and make the picture look odd.  Odd in a bad way, I hasten to add.  Art!

     What can I say?  Those ex-FSB chaps must be studying BOOJUM! to gain an insight into how Western minds think.  If only they knew!

*  Our Memory and Subconscious respectively, remember?