I Hope You Recall "The Red King And The Witch" From Yesteryon
Because I'm not going to repeat it all word-for-word. Recall, if you will, that the Red King's baby daughter was a lot more than she appeared to be:
And she turned a somersault, and her nails became like an axe and her teeth like a shovel. And she opened the cupboard and ate up everything. Then she became a child again and returned to her place in the cradle, for she was a babe at the breast.
Art!
Along these lines. It's pretty hard to find any pictures of 'teeth like shovels', you know. As for 'nails became like an axe' - Art!
Courtesy Fasslayer on Deviant Art
So, it seems that the daughter is a variety of brood parasite, much like a cuckoo, with the ability to change form. Conrad remains skeptical that she/it could have opened the press - Art!
Ancient storage press
Because having axes for nails would very definitely hamper one's ability to utilise mutually-opposable digits, and open the thing, not to mention being at risk of smashing it to flinders along the way. The next part of the story concerns the middle princeling:
His middle son also said, 'Father, all hail. I am going to watch to-night.'
'Go, dear, only play the man.'
'Be it unto me according to God's will.'
And he went into the palace and put his head on a pillow. And at ten o'clock came a warm breeze and sleep seized him. Up rose his sister and unwound herself from her swaddling-bands and turned a somersault, and her teeth
became like a shovel and her nails like an axe. And she went to the press and opened it, and ate off the platters what she found. She ate it all, and turned a somersault again and went back to her place in the cradle. Day broke and the lad arose, and his father asked him and said, 'It would take a better man than you, and even he might do nought for me if he were as poor a creature as you.'
<Conrad shakes head sorrowfully> because if I had been the Red King, you'd better believe those platters would have been doused in Capsaicin extract of 4 Million Scoville rating, which would put the lion amongst the ostriches. Indeed, why not find a feral stray cat, bait it into a jute sack, pummel it with sticks to get it reallllly angry and drop it into the press instead of a load of platters? O boy, Witchy would get an unpleasant surprise!
Witch-eye view before both are gone
Of course, I could be over-thinking this ...
What On Earth?
NO this is not about the James Webb Space Telescope, do be patient, we'll get to that all in good time.
For some reason that Conrad cannot explain (thank you Steve and Oscar) he took it upon himself to look at a site that generated random images, both of which were boring. But in the clickbait adverts below ...
Er - that was my explanation. Snopes, the home of urban legend debunking, actually clicked on the article and went through 41 pages of supposed 'life hacks' that were all completely useless, none of which mentioned the above.
So, by default, my explanation stands!
Okay, Now The James Webb Space Telescope
Get used to a glut of pictures from this astronomical device, because even in it's first few hours it has astronomers going ga-ga at the images produced and the information they contain. Art!
These are photographs of the Large Magellanic Cloud, that on the left taken by the venerable old Spitzer telescope, and JWST on the right. You can instantly see the radical difference in detail between the two, with the "MIRI" (Mid Infra Red Instrument) on the right able to see through dust and gas clouds for much higher definition.
Reluctant Ruffians
To listen to the Sinisters and after them the Ruffians, you'd think that the Western Allies sat on the waffle-patterned bottoms and did nothing to help the boastful Bolshies <cont. Page 94>
However, I would like to present a tad of evidence from the pages of "The War Illustrated" that belies this notion. Art!
These pictures were taken at Murmansk, definitely not by any Sinisters because 1) they couldn't afford cameras and 2) glorifying anything not Sinister would have earned any photographer a one-way trip to the gulags. Note the number of ships here in port and outside in the roads. Art!
The Arctic convoys had to brave some of the worst seas and weather in the world, where going into the water was a death sentence executed in about 3 minutes, and they had to brave the Teuton aircraft, submarines and surface raiders based all along the coast of Occupied Norway. Nor did the Sinister Navy - what there was of it - ever come out of port to help escort.
Waffle-patterned bottoms my hairy white hind-quarters!
Now For The Complete Opposite
"The Sea Of Sand" is back, you lucky people! Here we see The Doctor decide to cut to the chase and 'borrow' a military truck without any of the bothersome drama of having to ask for it first.
‘Seeing that sandstorm coming across the desert at
us – ugh, that was horrid. Like a dirty
brown wave,’ she said, trying to change the subject.
Roger looked south-east, where the distant traces of
the storm could still be seen.
‘They’re not pleasant, desert sandstorms, Sarah – I
say, I can call you Sarah, can’t I? – sorry for being a bit forward. Not pleasant but they don’t kill you, unless
you encounter them in an aeroplane. I
heard some of the chaps saying that these storms are artificial ones, whipped
up by all the military activity out here.’
‘That’s rather odd.’
Roger tapped the side of his nose.
‘I’ve seen odder.
At the old dig, for example.
There used to be strange lights in the night sky over the buildings on
occasion, and when it got really hot you’d see Saint Elmo’s Fire on the top of
the pylons. Quite eerie, I felt. The Prof – who has a stone for a soul – used
it to read by. It scared the wits out of
the Egyptians and the French chaps didn’t like it much, either.’
‘But you were made of stronger stuff!’ joked
Sarah. Roger gave a lop-sided grin.
‘Hardly. I
just didn’t dare to act worried in front of the Prof – yes?’ he replied
shortly, to a panting and sweaty soldier wearing only shorts, boots and a
helmet.
‘Beg pardon, sir, but that Doctor Smith character’s
gone off in one of the trucks. I thought
you ought to know.’
O Doctor, you are incorrigible! and also likely to get Sarah into hot water.
The gel hersel'
An Update On Last Night's Excitement
I did mention that we had at least ten police cars whizzing about last night, accelerating up Tandle Hill at silly speeds. From our local news forum it appears they were chasing a stolen car, which crashed at Weston Street. 2 of the crims were gripped at the scene, with dogs being brought in to track down the others. Exciting times!
Slava Ukraina!
Er - that is official British police-car livery. Honest.
Finally -
Just to let you know that I've just finished watching Episode 5 of Season One of "Stranger Things" and Nancy is in some serious trouble. This is the episode that I caught half-way through when it was on originally, and O my! did it catch my attention. Yes, it did, that was Conrad being rhetorical. Essentially - SPOILER ALERT HERE - Nancy has crossed over into the Upside Down, a sinister, dark, degraded mirror of our reality, through a portal in a tree-trunk.
Problem is, the Split-Head Loon is also there, guzzling on a deer it caught on our side of the portal, and - well, these portals are only temporary, and as Jonathan desperately calls for her, we see the portal sealing itself up. Art!
Nancy being brave, foolish or both at once
Thing is, I cannot remember how or if she gets out or away. Old age and gin, doncha know.
* Perhaps this says more about me than you need or like to know.
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