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Monday, 4 July 2022

Flaming Stries!

Work With Me On This, It'll All Make Sense Eventually

Either that or it won't, we shall see.  Okay!  Today's title comes from a novella by James Thurber, the South Canadian humourist and cartoonist, called "The Wonderful O", which - O and by the way WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS! - is about a world where the letter 'O' has been forbidden, or abolished, or stolen.  I forget the exact details, it's about forty years since I read it.  Art!


     One of the consequences of this heinous act - I mean, can you get your mouth around "Cnrad" or "Rbert Cnnlly"? - is that one character has enjoyed writing stories which he read to his wife, only to find that "Flamingo Stories" had reverted to today's title, and gave up in disgust.

     Here an aside.  Conrad distinctly remembers at story's end the main villains, who might very well be pirates, are trying to dig for victory for <insert reason here> but are thwarted by geology with an "O" in it, namely rock formations called 'Oolite', which up until now I have never checked out.  Let us do so. Art!

Oolite in yer sight

     Mister Thurber said it had an alternate name, "Dogger" ONCE AGAIN WASH OUT YOUR DISGUSTING GUTTERPHOBIC MINDS! - which if Art has a very careful look on teh Interwebz - 

A lump of dogger

     Right, now we've got the geology out of the way, let us abruptly change track and revert to "Biggles In The Blue" which is Opus 45 of the Biggles canon, just in case you were wondering.  And even if you weren't.  Art!


    Yesteryon you would have seen Conrad gibbering with glee as he found a free internet text of this work, and he's already at page 58.

     If you don't want to experience SPOILERS I suggest you skip this Intro and carry on further down.



     The thing is, Biggles and Co. are trying to track down a cache of documents hidden by a fleeing Nazi war criminal, which have blueprints AND EXPERIMENTAL DATA for Teuton wonder-waffen up to the V18*.  Air Commodore Raymond, Biggles' boss, warns him that destroying these documents is far more preferable to the Sinisters getting their grubby sweaty paws on them.  This cache is hidden on a Caribbean island, and their only clue is that it has a population of flamingos upon it.  Said Nazi war criminal kindly fetched one of their eggs back for his neighbour, you see.  Art!

Additional text in German, which seems appropriate

     This island is home to a major colony of flamingos, or at least it was.  Art!

Yup, still is

     Our heroes have a crude and un-scaled tracing of an island outline as a location, so they know it's not Grand Inagua.  There are, however, thousands upon thousands of islands and islets and cays across the Caribbean, so - very much needle in a haystack time.

     There.  Did that make sense?  I hope it did because I'm done with it.


Ah, Michael, Did You Think I'd Forgotten You?

Michael Stipe, that is, vocalist of R.E.M and who may make an appearance towards the end of "World War Z" the novel, it's deliberately left unclear if

     ANYWAY we never carried on with the Little Musical Critique of their song "Catapult" so it behoves me to lay on again, MacDuff.

We were little boys, we were little girls
Which?  Which!  Make your mind up!
It's nine o'clock, don't try to turn it off
Nine ante meridian or post meridian?  DEFINE YOURSELF!
Cowered in a hole, ope your mouth
Unwise, the mud might get in
We in step, in hand, your mother remembers this
How do you know?  I mean, she's got to be getting a bit long in the tooth, nicht wahr?
Hear the howl of the rope, a question
Yes, my question is HOW THE DOG BUNS CAN ROPE HOWL!
Did we miss anything, did we miss anything
Did we miss anything, did we miss anything
Yes, a sense of sanity and logic, I feel
Catapult (catapult), catapult
Catapult (catapult), catapult
Ah - you're cowering in a hole because of being pelted by catapults?

You know, I fear Michael is not happy with me


Conrad Mocks The Coincidence Hydra

Thanks to my armour-plated underwear.  My nethers have never been nicer nor less nibblesome, my only worry being that the Hydra might invest in diamond-tipped teeth.  Shouldn't think so, it only gets paid National Minimum Wage.  Art!


     From the latest edition of "Empire".  Yes well, it was only on 19/06/2022 that Your Humble Scribe was making a tangential and obscure point by mentioning "Billion Dollar Brain" on BOOJUM! and if you doubt my veracity, here's the link:

BOOJUM!: O Pernicious Muse! (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)


Back To Libya

Forwhy, we have more of "The Sea Of Sand" to regale you with.  You ought to recall that The Doctor and Sarah are cooped up in a rather pungent tent as a sandstorm rages outside.  February 1941, since you ask.

‘What’s the “Army Royal Servicers Core”?’ asked Sarah with an air of  apparent genuine interest.  The genuine interest was actually genuine interest, her not having ever come across the term before.

          Llewellyn finished his own mug of tea.

          ‘Ah, therein lies a tail.  The RASC delivers supplies to the army in the field.’  Seeing the disappointment on his listener’s face, he carried on to enlarge on his statement.  ‘This is North Africa, Miss Smith.  There’s nothing out here but the desert.  Everything we need has to be brought in from overseas.  Not just men and their equipment but basic things like food and water.’

          The Doctor mentally underlined the officer’s phrase; there was nothing out here that the Time Lords would want inspected or investigated.  Nothing!

          Sarah nodded encouragingly, feeling like a reporter egging-on a source for vital information.  The officer continued.

          ‘There’s no trees, so you can’t burn wood for fuel or chop them down for building anything.  There’s no livestock or cultivated land or even wild berries growing.  No towns or cities where you could buy supplies.  Just desert.  So anything we do out here depends on supplies.  And the RASC delivers the supplies.’

          Privately, Sarah considered anyone who wanted to fight here to be irredeemably insane. Merely existing seemed difficult enough.

     O I dunno.  It takes a while but you get acclimatised and only sweat out a single pint per day instead of three or four.


More Of Them Books

If you recall, the BBC listed a whole passel of books that have been published during HM The Queen's reign STAND UP FOR THE QUEEN!  ESPECIALLY YOU REPUBLICANS! by Commonwealth authors, split up into decades.  Let's have the second batch.

1962-1971

 

A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess (1962, England)

The Interrogation - J.M.G. Le Clézio (1963, France/Mauritius)

The Girls of Slender Means - Muriel Spark (1963, Scotland)

Arrow of God - Chinua Achebe (1964, Nigeria)

Death of a Naturalist - Seamus Heaney (1966, Northern Ireland)

Wide Sargasso Sea - Jean Rhys (1966, Dominica/Wales)

A Grain of Wheat - Ngũgĩ wa Thiong'o (1967, Kenya)

Picnic at Hanging Rock - Joan Lindsay (1967, Australia)

The Beautyful Ones Are Not Yet Born - Ayi Kwei Armah (1968, Ghana)

When Rain Clouds Gather - Bessie Head (1968, Botswana/South Africa)

     Conrad has actually read "A Clockwork Orange" and remembers the ending, where Alex is praying and hoping that he's not going to be transformed into someone strange and peculiar, or something strange and peculiar - like a clockwork orange.  I've heard of "Wide Sargasso Sea" yet know nothing about it, and "Picnic At Hanging Rock" is a work of fiction, NOT a documentary reconstruction, especially as one of the vanishing girls turns into a lizard or something.  Art!

Hmmmmmm 'Nadsat' being a corrupted Russian might not go down too well today

Finally -

The dishwasher has died on us, so Conrad and the rest of the household are having to wash dishes by hand, MY DELICATE HANDS, until Friday when the replacement arrives.  I shall not be here at The Mansion as I shall be hammering away at a hot keyboard in the Dark Tower.



*  I do apologise for stating "V20" yesterday.  My memory, my bad.

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