If I Were To Say "The Zone"

You Might Be Confused

Since I have, in the past, wittered on about several iterations of same.  There is, principally, 'The Zone' as featured in that splendid novel "Roadside Picnic" by the Strugatsky Brothers, and if Art can stir from his coal-induced stupor to bring up one of my favouritest sci-fi covers  -

     This Zone is an area where aliens visited overnight before leaving without any attempt to communicate with Hom. Sap.  They left numerous artefacts behind, which 'stalkers' risk their lives to recover, since they are immensely valuable for their scientific qualities.  The title?  Because one person speculates that what the aliens indulged in was no more than their equivalent of a roadside picnic.

     Yes, quite right, the film "Stalker" is a very dour adaptation of the novel (which is crying out for an effects-stuffed Hollywood version) and The Zone is every bit as dangerous as advertised.  Art!

     It's not made explicit what happened here, yet in the background of several scenes is wrecked military hardware.  You get the message: The Zone is hazardous to health.

      Of course we're not talking about this Zone, because that would be too logical, and a rather short Intro.

     Then we have James Rouch and his series of near-future war novels.  Art!

     They were written back in the Eighties, when people thought the Sinister's army was actually competent, so you'll have to take that for granted.  The central concept is that a Warsaw Pact invasion of Western Europe has stalled all along a front line inside West Germany, with neither side having the wherewithal to mount a breakthrough.  Hence you get The Zone; a toxic No Man's Land sandwiched between two armies.

     Of course - obviously! - it would be too easy to have this b our Zone.  The search continues!

     Here an aside.  Yes yes yes, it's necessary.  Art!

     Behold a Zone.  In this case, it's "The Death Zone" taken from the BBC's premier dramamentary "Doctor Who".  This was an area that very naughty Time Lords used to pit opponents against one another, having time-scooped them from different planets.  They would place bets on who would or wouldn't survive, which is really not on.  When Rassillon came to power he put an end to such uncivilised behaviour.

     Still not The Zone we're looking for.  Art!

Tom Scott investigates

     Bear with me here.  As Tom explained, legal jurisdiction over Yellowstone National Park is held solely by the state of Wyoming, which is fair enough as most of the park falls within it's state borders.

     But not all of it.  Art!

     As you can see, portions of the park fall into Idaho and Montana, including the portion Tom was vlogging from, which is dubbed <dramatic drum roll> Art!

     Why dub it that?  Well, it sounds cool, for one thing.  The next fact is the South Canadian Constitution's Sixth Amendment, which states that a defendant in a criminal trial needs to be tried by a jury of peers FROM THAT STATE AND DISTRICT.  So, if Tom were to murder a passing motorist for the purposes of making a practical example, a jury would need to be assembled from the ZOD.  This would be difficult as nobody lives there.  Okay, it would be impossible.

     It's not a mere technicality, either.  A poacher caught in the Montana ZOD was able to do a deal for a reduced sentence IF he plead guilty rather than take it to trial for illegally killing an elk which also involved firearms felony.  You can guarantee that somebody is going to test this to the limit one day.

     So - no sooner are we in The Zone than we're out of it.

A Change Of Scenery

From green and serene to sandy and <thinks> bandy?  Yes, another instalment of "The Sea Of Sand" which you must all love love love because - no critical Comments!  None at all!  So it will continue!

‘Doctor!’ blurted Sarah gratefully .  ‘Where have I been hiding?  You look to your own counsel, because after stealing that truck – what is it?  What’s wrong?’

          The errant Time Lord beckoned her forward, pressing a finger to his lips.

          ‘I think I’ve found the reason the Time Lords sent us here.  An alien complex of buildings out in the depths of the desert.’

          This news stopped Sarah’s pending tirade before it began.  “Alien buildings” to her always recalled the City of the Exilons, and the terrifying maze within.  Or the Martian temple-prison of –

          ‘There you are!’ exclaimed Lieutenant Llewellyn, from behind them, equal amounts of anger and relief shading into his voice. 

          ‘Pretty obviously, Sarah, it’s a cruiser tank, an A13 if I’m not mistaken, from the initial advance of Wavell’s Thirty Thousand.  Oh, hello Lieutenant!  Must have been immobilised here on the cross-desert manouevre to get to Beda Fomm.  Now, Lieutenant, I’ve just been out to your dig in the desert and have some bad news for you.’

          Roger stopped, puzzled by the Doctor’s background chat to Sarah – which was absolutely correct and surprisingly so for an Oxford don – and even more puzzled by the mention of Makan Al-Jinni.

          ‘I’ve got some bad news for you, Doctor Smith.  Captain Dobie would like to have a more detailed chat with you.’

          He resisted any urge to ask what the peculiar academic meant by “bad news”.  For all of thirty seconds. 

‘What bad news?’

     And we shall leave it at that cliff-hanging moment.  Art!

Intact A13

A Touch Of Gloasting

'Gloasting' - one of BOOJUM!s vocabulary of made-up words, a conflation of 'Gloating' and 'Boasting'.  Because yesteryon's traffic was quite something, given how our numbers fell off a cliff in May.  Art!

     Consider that I've not yet posted this blog, so I struck a chord with certain nationalities, and allow me to bring up the statistical world map.  Art!

     As you can see (barely) the highest number of views is 122, and where do they come from?

     Russia!  Most unusually, we have more Ruffians than South Canadians in the mix, and NIL British Americans.  Hmmmmmm I just remembered, "Roadside Picnic" is set in Canada - could life be imitating art?

Conrad: Yes, Still Furiously Angry!

In case you were wondering.  And even if you weren't.  These execrable Codeword solutions come from the M.E.N. not the 'Codewords" as published by Puzzler, in case you were wondering.

"SCHNITZEL":  YOU WHAT!  Okay, "SCH" is just about permissible, because SCHOOL, but to follow it with a consonant, and have "Z" follow?  And what the Dog Buns is 'SCHNITZEL' anyway?  Hang on - 'A thin slice of meat, especially veal".  O so not a dog.  Conrad was imagining a hound like a daschund, perhaps with longer legs.  Art!

At least it has the utility of being edible

"TOPAZ": Imagine that one - a five letter word ending in "Z".  Conrad seems to recall it's a semi-precious stone, which is impressive because that means it's jewellery, which Your Humble Scribe has 0% interest in.  I did Google and - well, it brought up this.  Art!

     "A hard glassy mineral consisting of a silicate of aluminium and fluorine in crystalline form" yeah right that's exactly what that picture depicts.  Conrad: even angrier than before.

"JERBOA":  AAAARGH!  Again with foreign words.  Conrad, of course, knows exactly what this is; colloquially known as a 'Desert Rat', it became the symbol of 7th Armoured Division during the Second Unpleasantness in North Africa, which we coincidentally visited in TSOS.  Art!

Finally -

Well, I got the weather I wanted, didn't I?  That is, cloudy, chilly and damp.  For my constitutional Conrad is going to wear shoes, no getting away with Crocs in this weather.