He deserves a couple of Oscars for being the world's most dangerous documentary producer, though.
For No! we are not banging on about shape-shifting alien hoohoodillies, but rather on how life comes and bites one in the ass if you permit a moment of weakness -
| Not sure what this is - but it seems to embody "Ass" and "Weird". |
But first, a brief pause whilst I go make a cup of tea and char some innocent bread to within an inch of it's life (what you we humans would call breakfast) - <sighs in an affecting yet manly way>plus, since I loaded up a ton of pictures at home and am now typing this at work, the formatting has all gone to jiggery.
Before we begin about strange connections, an aside. Hey, it's been two paragraphs!
As you should surely know by now, Your Humble Scribe buys the Manchester Evening News
for the Cryptic Crossword and Codeword, instead of for the news content (if there is any,
I really wouldn't know). So I was a little nonplussed to see all the fuss about who won the
ballfoot Prem Ear League (sp?) and I adduce the photograph below as proof. Art?
 |
| Sic |
You'll note that there's a wraparound cover on the theme, then pages 2, 3, 4 and 5, and a
16-page pull out. Really, is there any need for all this murdered forest? You'd think that
ballfoot was important or something.
Bah!
Let The Coincidences Begin
Your Humble Scribe happened to be talking to that exceedingly chirpy young lady Noe at work last week, and he happened to enquire about different regional dialects in Spain.
This is not merely a middle-aged man desperately looking for a conversation piece with an
attractive young lady: Noe hails from Spain herself. She mentioned Catalan, as had I, and
we both mentioned Basque, and then she informed me about "Gallego". This was novel to
Conrad, so I went and looked it up. Art?
 |
| No! Art, you bafoon! <sounds of Tazer being warmed up> |
I shall give you five seconds to put that right, you Neanderthal oaf. Five - four -
 |
| Galicia, a region of Spain |
This is Galicia, where they speak Gallego. Imagine that! The Galicians don't seem quite
as noisy as the Catalonians about independence - so far.
Now, I bet you're wondering where that connection with Johnny Alpha comes in, aren't you? I thought you'd never ask!
It transpires that there is an artist called Blas Gallego - Art?
I'm afraid I can't post any pictures of his artwork, since they mostly feature ladies who have forgotten to put on their bra and are not shy about informing the world of this wardrobe malfunction. And we are so, so SFW. Anyway, that word "Gallego" had triggered an association in that foetid rubbish-skip swamp that I like to call my "mind".
"Hmmm. "Gallego". "Blas" and Gallego". Why does one beget the other?" I wondered. Wonder no further! For they refer to The Gronk, that steadfast sidekick from "Strontium Dog", as seen in the pages of the Galaxy's greatest comic. Art?
In contrast to Wulf, who is bluff and gruff and easily capable of drinking a whole barrel of ale by himself, and Johnny Alpha, who is a fearfully hard-bitten character, The Gronk is a timid soul, who suffers heart attacks if a pin drops. A most excellent medic, though.
And the relevant bit, which I don't apologise for taking so long to reach, is that The Gronk hails from the planet Blas, in the Gallego system. Which was a deliberate in-joke from the 2000AD staff, who probably have cupboards full of young ladies experiencing <ahem> 'wardrobe malfunctions', the rascals.
And Now For More Incredible Time-twisting!
Back to "The Incredibles" (most excellent faux-James Bond soundtrack, by the way) and we shall take a look at someone taking a look. In the picture below we see the maths tutor, who had secretly installed a camera in his classroom*, and take a look at that clunky black and white television and the clunky video-tape recorder. That's Seventy's technology, that is. Also, Mister Maths Teacher, your head is grotesquely swollen compared to other characters. Obviously we are not meant to take you seriously. Not with a noggin like that (shades of "So I Married An Axe Murderer" come to mind).
 |
| Seventy's technology. Got that? |
Next we see a whole slew of cars in a traffic jam, and these are patently not the be-finned chrome-plated gas-gargling monsters of the Fifties.** Sixties designs at large, I would venture.
 |
| Sixties designs. Got that? |
Apropos handguns and policemen - these seem to have moved on from the trusty, reliable six-shooting revolvers of yore, in favour of semi-automatic pistols with a much larger ammunition capacity, so you can shoot the bad guy lots of times, or a lot of bad guys once each. Conrad is not sure what model of pistol is being wielded here; something generic. I note that the Smith and Wesson Mod. 39 was introduced on a large scale in 1967.
 |
| "Dental police! Let's see them choppers!" |
And we shall end this trawl across timelines with a rather bland screenshot of Mister Plib's office (yes, yes, I know he's not called Mister Plib, but he is one, so that's what he'll be known as). I apologise for the synchrony effects. Anyway, note that we now have - Fluorescent Lighting! But the clocks are still analogue and not digital. Fluorescents started to overtake yer basic bulb technology in the Fifities. Did you know that? No, nor I.
 |
| When punching Plibs, Bob Parr's got dibs. |
Finally -
Hooray! The formatting is back to normal! It seems to be a product of adding-in photographs at home and then adding text in the office, and is annoying in that it makes the overall layout look messy.
Hooray! The formatting is back to normal! It seems to be a product of adding-in photographs at home and then adding text in the office, and is annoying in that it makes the overall layout look messy.
Because we mentioned Finns above (surely one of our more strained puns) here is a photograph of HANNU MIKKOLA!
This goes with the theme of cars, since he was one of the "Flying Finns" who dominated rally driving back in the day. The reason the Finns did so well with rally driving is - so I am told - that most of the roads in their swampy northern home are abysmally bad, so all drivers are potential rally champions by age 17.
 |
| Hail to Hannu! |
* DANGER WILL ROBINSON! PERVERT ALERT! This kind of thing is a big no-no now ...
** Which is a bit of a shame, really.
** Which is a bit of a shame, really.
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