From Biggest Election To Biggest Erection

I Think I Might Have Missed A Trick Here
Or, Your Humble Scribe is not quite as clever as he likes to think he is.  NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK THERE!
     Okay, the results from the Indian general election have now been declared, and some guy is now the victor.  Forgive me for not going into detail here, we here at BOOJUM! don't go into Political matters if we can avoid.

Launch pad for Atlas Five
(Because Politics = Dull)

     Okay, there's the results of the world's biggest general election ever. An electorate of 900 million have spoken, which makes Perfidious Albion's elections for Europe as of yesteryon look a bit - well - feeble, frankly.  The thing is, India's population is frickin' massive.  1.3 billion, or about 185 times that of the Allotment Of Eden.  
     So - where are they all going to live?  Because there is a limited amount of real estate in India; once you've spread out laterally in 2 dimensions, where do you go from there?
     You go to - NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK THERE! - massive construction projects, which move in 3 dimensions, which explains today's title.  And here we refer back to the colossal engineering projects intended to house millions of citizens.  Art?

Sic

     Conrad wonders if the mega-city architecture and processes might not play out first in Uttar Pradesh, rather than Battery Park.  Time will tell!
     Now, motley, that's a wing-suit we've clothed you in, and this - don't look down! - this is the very topmost level of the Bourj Khalifa that the lightning-conductor technicians can get to and - off you go!

Very possibly the motley

     
You Bought A What?
Take a look at the sylph-like Shelli and - well, a picture is better.  Art?

Eyes right!  On the cello not the Shello

     As an impulse purchase this one would be harder to top, at least for a quick browse around the charity shops of Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell.  Initially Conrad thought it merely a cello case, which is when Shello (yes yes yes I know that's not her nickname but it does rhyme with the article in question you lummocks) opened it up to reveal a cello.* 
     Good manners prohibit from saying how much the gel paid for it, but she was, as the saying goes, chuffed into small fragments about it.
     That did leave the problem of how to get it home; a cello in it's case being both 1) Heavy and 2) Very awkwardly shaped.  There's a comedy sketch in there somewhere.

Cellos, with puny humans for scale

     Quickly!  Put up the Sanity Screens!  Check and see if The 1975 are still hale and hearty, or at least alive -
     - phew, they are.  It was just a bad curry last night.  Okay, carry on people, nothing to see here -

Hale, hearty and up for a party

Conrad Has Been Thinking Further ...
Always a dangerous thing, frankly, especially when stood waiting for a bus with nothing to occupy my mind but abstract thought.
     Anyway, I was pondering about Syndrome (you recall, the huge-chinned Mad Scientist from "The Incredibles") and his threat/promise/flat statement (delete where applicable) to make superpowers available to all.

It is a massive chin.

     Now, this isn't going to fly.  As I mentioned earlier, governments simply won't put up with it.  So - Syndrome, who has very little use for what is right, proper and legal, will retail his SuperPower stuff on the dark web.  Oo-er missus.
     This is going to create one heck of a situation, where illegally-obtained SuperPowered kit is in the hands of those who are, at least, unscrupulous and, at worst, positively eeeevil.  Consequently, governments across the globe are going to require the services of an international team of superheroes who can tackle the menace of Super Villains -
     Except they've all been disbanded, at least in South Canada.  Conrad, who is pretty much Schadenfreude made flesh, would enormously enjoy seeing death and destruction rain down upon the petty, graceless, compensation-hungry ingrates that populate Municiberg.

NO DATELINE!

      You (that is, the whiney Municibergers) surely wouldn't be whinging about sprains and bruises after T-Man And His Terror Tacticians go sweeping through Municiberg, because the "T" in "T-Man" doesn't stand for the cup that cheers and not inebriates, but rather "Thermonuclear", and he opens up bank vaults by blowing up the bank; he gets rid of pesky police pursuers by blowing them up, too, plus a couple of hectares of surrounding real estate -
     You see?  You see now?  Property damage in the billions and death toll in the tens of thousands - and that's just from one SuperVillain.** Idiots.  How do you think the world of Old Man Logan came about?

Yeah!

     Hmmm.  That was a bit dark, wasn't it?  Art!  Provide something light and frothy -

CAUTION!  Whipped cream dispensers can explode and kill!

     That's not light and frothy, you bafoon!  Pictures of lambs and bunnies and the like -

<Sighs and reaches for Tazer>

"The Liberators" By Viktor Suvorov
Once again I apologise for having mental flotsam come bobbing to the surface of that broiling broth I call a brain, where septic sewage stews in the cerebellum.***
     For yes, I've got no idea why this particular work came to the fore.  Art?  O stop whining and put some salve on them -

I remembered the key being on the other side

     This is an hysterically funny account of Ol' Vik's (not his real name) time in the Red Army, being a satirical look at what the Red Army was really like, which you can sum up in four words: Not Fit For Purpose.  It was enormous, and utter rubbish, and from the stupidity, incompetence, malice, intrigue, spying and so forth depicted within, one can understand how the Sinisters managed to make such a ham-fisted mess in Afghanistan.  I lost my copy ages ago but - there is always Abebooks.  Where one might also find a copy of "Top 10" to boot.

Two boots.  Close enough.

     Oh, and there we are, over the ton. 


*  But of course.  If it had been a dead donkey playing the xylophone that would have been - incongruous.
**  The "Terror Tacticians" are, technically, merely sidekicks.
***  Sorry about that, too - it also sounds quite, quite horrid.