Hello, Coincidence Hydra

<Sighs>
Yes, it's true, Arnold Vosloo, and it concerns a haiku.
     Here an aside, because it also concerns a Triptych (sorry I couldn't make that rhyme).  And yes, I am complaining about the MEN Codeword compiler again, just when they'd been behaving themselves for a couple of weeks, for this was one of their answers.
     Allow me: "Triptych"; a religious painting consisting of three panels, usually hinged, in order than it can be displayed on an altar."  Art?

The old religious one-two-three

     How many 8-letter words do you know that have only one vowel?  Also, how often do you encounter the triptych in everyday conversation?  Not very frequently, I bet.  Of course, I got it because I'm so good, but this is unfair to lesser word-puzzlers.
     And so to "Haiku" because this was another answer.  No, I don't have the picture proof, once completed they go in the blue bin; you'll just have to take my word for it.  I mean, once again, is this a word in common usage?

High coo.  Close enough.

     Here another aside.  I seem to remember Ilya Kuryakin in "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." quoting a haiku to his partner Napoleon, which involved a frog jumping into a pond.
     However, that was back in the Sixties, so it doesn't count.
     Let us now jump abruptly to Twitter, and Sajan Rai, an artist and illustrator whom I first met at Manchester Comic Con a couple of years ago.  He did the sketch of me as a sloth.

Now long lost, sadly

     Ol' Saj has been occasionally publishing illustrations over on Twitter, which are pretty much the art equivalent of BOOJUM! - bewildering if yet possessing an internal logic of their own.  Let's see if we can dig up a recent one.  Art?

Yes, it's a haiku

     Yes, it's a haiku.  Which run on a scheme of 5-7-5 syllables in three lines.  Not only that, Ol' Saj is running a Kickstarter campaign to get a book of these published, which has rapidly reached 99%, so it's looking pretty good and yes, Conrad did put in a subscription in order to get a copy.  Herein the link to Ol' Saj's Twitter page -

https://twitter.com/planetsmudge

     - but be warned, it is not SFW nor small, impressionable Hom. Saps.  There can be rude words and <ahem> adult picture themes.
     Okay, time to sandpaper the motley's epidermis and roll it in freshly-squeezed lemons!

Conrad: Dilettante Wargamer
Last night I finally finished the "Square Bashing" game I began in November last year, and it's taken all these many month, not because it's so immensely complex to run solo, but because I am such an idle swine.  Art?

     There you go.  That's the playing field, of 36 squares.  They could have done with being considerably larger, except then they wouldn't fit on the tables.  Then you have the selection of units out of their storage boxes and finally the battlefield before any units are deployed.  The Teutons will be at the nearer end, with the forces of Perfidious Albion at the far end, where the terrain is all open.  The middle of the board is "Closed" terrain, which is easy enough to move into, yet the very dickens to move out of, especially for artillery and tanks.  The Teutons have an outpost line of trenches and wire, then a main line with continuous trenches and wire, with concrete pillbox complexes as well - these being especially difficult to conquer unless assailed by acres of artillery.                      
     The thing is, I now have to work out the final score for each side, which is calculated differently for attackers and defenders, tot it up and see who actually won.  Then, of course, it all has to be put away in the storage boxes.  And I shall write up an account of it, which - no doubt! - will grace these pages.*
The Day Of Dog -
 - as recorded by blog, is nearly over.  Wonder Wifey is returning to these sceptred isles tomorrow morning, which means that the care and entertainment of Edna - currently whimpering mordantly at my elbow - will no longer be my responsibility.
     Hooray!  Actually I'd better not celebrate too much or there will be trouble, for me.  The small domesticated wolf isn't really a bother, except when she demands that you play with her, either chasing games or tugging a small soft toy apart.  Art?

Note the annoying green ball

     It's annoying because it's just small enough to roll under the furniture, whereupon madame will sit and whine until the Ball-Retriever With Mutually-Opposable Digits comes and retrieves it.** Then you have to chase her-
     My life will be a lot more staid from Saturday.

     There!  There!  That was two 409 buses going Ashtonwards, one after the other!  One every ten minutes my hairy white hindquarters - I bet there are people waiting at bus stops who have been there for twenty minutes!

     <takes a deep breath and focuses on the really serious matter in hand>

LITHIUM WAFER BATTER - no, that's not right.

Satisfying, but not right, either.

Finally - 
I've nearly finished reading "Pride And Prejudice And Zombies", which leads me to wonder if - oh, excuse me.  Art?

Zombies and public transport

     Just in case the concept of "zombie" was unfamiliar to you.
     Anyway, I was wondering if PAPAZ would be more amusing, or nuanced, if I went and read the original "Pride And Prejudice", which lacks zombies but probably contains considerably more irony and good breeding.
     Then I recall that, for "A" Level English Lit, I had to read "Mansfield Park", which is a long novel in which very little happens, and it takes a long time and a lot of words not to happen.  I cannot recall anything at all about the plot, characters nor setting, except that it is, like PAP, set during the Napoleonic wars, which are mentioned once in passing.  Oh, and someone bangs on about soup.

You can park it right there, matey.

     So, perhaps not.  Sorry, Jane.***




*  What a treat for you!
**  Surely humanity has a greater destiny than this?
***  I'm being polite here, not sincere.