But it will take a bit of explanation.
Your humble scribe noted with sour amusement (is there any other kind?) the rather amateurish attempts of Teuton propaganda to stir up the Scots during the Second Unpleasantness. Generally this effort was shallow, poorly composed, heavy handed and far too obviously black propaganda. 2/10. The Scots, unlike porridge, refused to be stirred. Herein the link:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09gfch4
This mock "British" radio station, a product of Dr. Goebbel's propaganda ministry, went off the air in 1943, when it had probably become apparent to the Teuton hierarchy that the way things were going, an invasion of Perfidious Albion was a pretty long shot.
| Lurking, perfidiously |
Now, if you want an abject lesson in black propaganda, white propaganda and all the various shades of grey in between, look no further than - Perfidious Albion*. All that guff about fair play and rules and being sporting goes right out the window in wartime, and the Allotment of Eden's inhabitants become the most devious people in the world.
Take "Soldatensender Calais", if you will. This was a fake British radio station that pretended to be an official German one, broadcasting from the Calais area, which mixed various bits of subtle poison in with official news, sports and music.
"Yes, yes!" I hear your anguished quibble, "But what -"
PATIENCE!
Then there was "Dartboard", where German-speaking radio staff would send out fake messages to German pilots aloft over the Reich, telling them to fly to Ulan Bator or land on the Zuider Zee, that sort of spoofery. The Teutons attempted to thwart this by bringing in female air-traffic controllers, so the treacherous Brits also brought in female impersonators.**
"We still haven't -"
MORE PATIENCE!
And the sly British used to broadcast over the end of official Teuton broadcasts, adding in nasty little digs that were subtle enough to persuade people without being overtly propagandistic. This particular tactic, apparently, used to send Herr Goebbels into frothing paroxysms of rage, because it was so difficult to counter.
"Are we going-"
BE PATIENT! WE HAVE ARRIVED!
| The inspiration |
These spoof broadcasts were thanks to 'Aspidistra', a monstrously powerful radio transmitter that had been lying around, banned from use, over on the shores of South Canada. The Perfidious Secret Service, ever on the lookout for means of making mischief, promptly bought it when hostilities broke out, and had it installed in a bunker.
So, there you have today's title explained. And no nonsense about it being a classic rock album title!
What's that? It's not? It refers instead to an album by Stevie Wonder?
Bah! I don't believe it - you're making all this up!
Now, sit the motley down at the table and serve it a light Oolong with biscotti.***
Further Of Fields
Yesterday I threw in a few terms to do with Fields of Fire -
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- to do with fields of fire as this term applies to machine guns and their tactics, NOT Eighties rock bands, thank you so much, Art.
<sounds of nuclear-powered Tazer frying human flesh>
Now that we have educated Art, let us proceed.
I mentioned "Barrage Fire", and shall here elucidate further. No, don't thank me, all part of BOOJUM!s didactic mission.
Barrage fire would be a pre-arranged fire plan, with a huge number of machine guns firing in concert to create a 'curtain' of bullets falling to ground (and enemy) up to perhaps a mile ahead of the guns. This curtain would move forward, at a rate of maybe a hundred yards in three minutes, allowing infantry to move behind it, as nobody ahead of them would dare stick their head above the parapet.
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| Machine gun barrage map |
Equally Dull
But I put this forward as proof that you can teach an old dog new tricks. Not sure where this puts a sub-human sloven like Art, who keeps getting it wrong despite being Tazered into a crisp every other week.
Anyway! Conrad came across the ballfoot term "Park the bus" last week, in the Comments section of a game between two teams you're probably not aware of and less interested in.
"What does it mean?" I pondered. "It can't be a real bus, that would be bad for the turf."
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| First Bus: also experts at parking, when they ought to be moving |
Nor is it. Apparently it mean to arrange all your players in front of your goal, in a human wall, preventing the opposition from scoring. Which might work, or might not, but either way the fans don't appreciate or like it. Paying £147 to see a lot of people standing around not doing a lot is rather pricey, after all.
Finally -
Because I can and because it's interesting, here's a picture of another volcanic island, namely Nishinoshima, off the coast of Japan -
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| Cooking like tofu |
* What can I say? It's in the blood.
** No, not a double-entendre.
*** I like to mix it up now and then. Unpredictable, that's me.
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