Demon Days

We're On A Theme Again
I'm not going to apologise for hogging the whole of yesterday's post with a single topic: to wit, The Army Of The Dead, as present in that obscure cult series 'Game of Thorns' or somesuch.
     Today we are going to touch on a similar subject matter, albeit going off on a tangent, as we are wont to do here at BOOJUM!  because that's how we roll.  If you can't cope, then the modern world is not for you.
     Conrad is not certain if you are up to speed on a couple of Italian horror films made by Lamberto Bava - "Demons" and "Demons 2".  Since the odds are that you are not, a precis is in order.  In both films, infectious demons spread by physical contact amongst a trapped entourage of hapless zombie-fodder, eventually breaking out into the world beyond (Rome pretending to be Berlin) and spreading their demonicness* abroad.

Dental care optional

     Of course, your humble scribe, whose fertile, inventive and evil mind never stops working, just had to follow through on this.  Let us now move on to a point five minutes beyond the end of "Demons" on-screen -

HIDEOUS GREEN-SKINNED RED-EYED BEFANGED DEMON:  Bwah-ahah-ha!  We are triumphant!  The empire of the demons has spread across the whole of Italy!  Then it will be Europe, and after that, THE WORLD!  Bwah-hah-hah!

(In a flash of green light and the smell of vanilla - because sulphur is so last millennium - your humble scribe Conrad appears)

 

HIDEOUS GREEN-SKINNED RED-EYED BEFANGED DEMON (Hereafter HGSREBD): Bloody hell!  Don't do that, you made me jump!
Conrad:  I do have that effect**.
 HGSREBD:  Bwah-hah-hah!  What do you want, puny human, before I devour your soul?
Conrad:  Ah, yes, about that; it's why I'm here.  Just what do demons subsist on?  You know, as a diet?
 HGSREBD:  Human souls.  Nutritious, low calorie and gluten-free.
Conrad:  I see.  So why are you cradling a cup of decaf mocha?
 HGSREBD:  Er - er - it's a hangover from my - er - human condition (takes hasty sip and throws cup away)  Bwah-hah-hah!

Devilishly good, apparently

Conrad:  Can we just take the evil cackle as read?  It's getting a bit repetitive.
 HGSREBD:  Hey, it's not my fault I'm thinly written.  What was your point?
Conrad:  Okay, so within days or weeks the entire population of planet Earth will be demons.
 HGSREBD:  Yes!  Demons triumphant!  Bwah - (catches Conrad's disapproving look) <cough cough>
Conrad:  So, then, what are you going to eat!  The diet starts right now, eh?
HGSREBD:  Oh!   Oh.  You know, I never thought of that.  Too busy concentrating on taking over the world.  Bwa - <cough cough>***
Conrad:  You're going to need to keep a considerable population of puny humans alive.  Plus, how do you maintain a nuclear power plant?
HGSREBD:  Er - enthrall it with demonic power?  Mutate it with demonic possession?  Push the Big Red Button?
Conrad:  You need to feed, clothe, shelter and water your human livestock, too.  How's your animal husbandry?  herbicide and pesticide knowledge?  Water treatment and potability?
HGSREBD: Oh.  Er - can I get back to you on that?  (in a stage-whisper:  dammit, this world domination thing is more complicated than you think).
Conrad:  And you'll need to police your demon brethren, or they'll be in at the cattle before they're supposed to.  Demons - greedy, don't you know (in a stage-whisper: and not too bright, methinks)

(In a flash and with a bang, our favourite reality-warping author vanishes from the demon-haunted world)

     I think I make several relevant points here.  The demons of "Demons" don't inspire any degree of confidence in their ability to marshal the resources of the world and keep it functioning; all they seem to do, essentially, is create more demons, who in turn create more demons, and then - they all die of starvation.  Slavering rivers of putrescent drool hardly qualifies one to be the dominant species on the planet, does it?  After which demon apocalypse, humans emerge from hiding in ballistic missile submarines, the ISS, deep mines, NORAD, Mount Yamantau and New Zealand (far away enough from initial contamination and infection to be able to create an effective quarantine, as already witnessed in my zombie opus "Revelations").

Also - koralled by killer kiwis

     If I recall correctly then I think the only film that has ever really tackled the issue of Evil Wins In The End is that rather spiffy horror opus by the Spierig brothers, "Daybreakers", where humans - specifically their blood - are a limited and dwindling resource. 

A blood bank.  Literally.

      What's that?  You expected this to be a deconstruction of an alleged album by Gorillaz, itself called "Demon Days"?  Pah!  I cavil at your attitude, and deny that there was any intent to deceive at all in any way whatsoever, if such a band or album ever existed in the first place.


*  Is this a word?  It is now!
**  Rubber-soled shoes
***  I can, of course, give lessons in this.