The Cars

Here An Aside
I realise it is unusual to begin a BOOJUM! with an aside, since I have usually gotten into my literary stride before diverging off at an acute angle, which is two mixed metaphors in the initial sentence.  Don't say you aren't spoiled.
     Anyway, Conrad would like to state his lofty disdain for the car.  If he is driving one then he cannot read a book, do the Cryptic Crossword or make notes in jarred handwriting as the bus bumps over it's millionth pothole.  
     "But Conrad!" I hear you quibble.  "You have the CD player!"
     No - I had the CD player.  It has joined the ranks of other long-expired electronic equipment, with that CD of Bjork's it's swan-song.
     That is all quite beside the torment of having to endure and survive what I used to dub the "Daily D***head Death Derby", where idiots, who are willing to die and kill anyone in their path, attempt to get to work 30 seconds quicker.
     So!  Please note an absence of the titular vehicle.  Art?

Deserted.  Damp.  Dismal!

     You will note an absence of cars, as has been mentioned earlier.  Weather keeps their owners away.  Nor is that all!  Art?

Damp.  Dismal.  Almost deserted!

     This is city-centre Manchester, on a street where the flying fishes play - no, sorry, that's Kipling, isn't it?  Where the metal boxes rest.  The cars.  Of which, you may note, there are precious few, as They (Conrad not clear exactly who "They" are) forbid the metal boxes to come to rest here.
     "Hang on," I hear you query.  "Where do we get subject matter about the debut album by The Cars, the eponymous "The Cars"?"  I'm afraid that we are not going to be dwelling on Ric Okasec's band, although I like the bass line from  "You're All I've Got Tonight" (possibly not the best chat-up line ever) and indeed the album's overall production is excellent.  I'm not going to illustrate with the cover picture as it is borderline NSFW from what I remember (Googles) oh - actually it was their second one.  Still, you're not getting a picture.*
     Where were we?  Damn, it can be distracting when there's a party in your head 24/7.
     Oh yes.  An absence of cars where the streets are normally o'erflowing with them.  This keeps happening.  What keeps them returning to this unlovely spot?

Manchester.  Gritty not pretty.

  Shakespoke
Once again we whale on WIndbag Willie, who writhes in woe.  Well, he would do if he were still alive.  Let us revisit that refrain from 'Hamlet' (is it just me or does this sound as if it's about a herd of pigs?).

"What dreams may come"

According to you, exactly none.

You equate sleeping with being dead.

Bill, you are not right in the head.

     I don't think I'm alone here - you may have noticed that, when you go to sleep, you wake up several hours later in your bed, rather than interred in a coffin.  And that's an accurate quote, too, from Ol' Hammy's speech himself, which reveals more than a touch of Thanatos, if you ask me.  Thanatos - go look it up.** Very Greek and dramatic; for an analogy, think of a pig eager to be turned into a set of pork chops.

Not a car, admittedly, but close enough.

     Of course, there was that creature from "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" that had been bred to want to be eaten, which was played by Peter Davison, who played a doctor in "A Very Peculiar Practice" and also another doctor in something else that escapes me -

"Eat me!  EAT ME!"

     - which is an illustration of what your humble scribe was up to last night, as I had started to look up the novels of Philip Kindred Dick, and got sidelined into looking at the novels of Roger Zelazny, and then got sidelined again, into looking at The Jewish Forward, and then sidelined again into a list of words in Yiddish that have been incorporated into South Canadian culture.  This is pretty much how my mind works.***
Finally -
I have invented a new fake Twitter category, #MakeAFilmDirty, and I hope you enjoy it, because there's lots of these titles to come.  I was busy thinking them up last night whilst walking Edna, sniggering to myself and scaring other pedestrians.
     Here's one I prepared earlier -

"Gritty Gritty Bang Bang"

     Of course, there is a NSFW variant of the above that I will leave it to your filthy minds to conjure up. 

Now - Food beckons!

*  What a stinker I am!
**  I'm not here to baby you all the time.
*** I think.  It's a bit unclear.