Today In Gomorrah-On-The-Irwell

That's Manchester To You
Although if Gomorrah still survives in some form, dating back to Biblical times, and anyone there is reading this - a slim chance, I grant you - then they might be fearfully confused.  So might the rest of you.  Anyway, let us crack on.

Either Gomorrah getting it, or Ground Zero at Castle Bravo

     Dear World, this Intro is to let you know that Conrad is available for gainful employment.  My ideal job would involve the following, in no special order:  drinking tea*; doing cryptic crosswords; creating a blog full of nonsensical scrivel; reading; writing long works of genre fiction.  Neither Fish4Jobs nor Monster seem to include any vacancies like this.  Let's face it, if I could get paid to create BOOJUM! then that would be hitting the jackpot squarely on the head, to blend metaphors.
     In pursuit of this gainful employment, because £££, Conrad popped into the city so named above to register with Rullion (a job agency for those who do not hail from the Allotment's shores).
     Inevitably, my footsteps took me to Church Street market Bookbuyers, which shop now boasts a roving security guard, and no Spice zombies this week.  Thus below - 

The Haul
I wasn't sure if I'd already got the IWM book or not, but at only £1 it was worth the risk.
Perhaps Art can grace us with a picture, if he puts that plate of coal down?

     I'm particularly pleased at getting the Heath Robinson work (upper left in the photo).  Once again, for those who hail beyond these hallowed shores, he was our version of Rube Goldberg.  Unfortunately HR became known for and typecast in drawing quirky inventions, when he really wanted to branch out into more serious stuff; the Inside Every Clown Is A Hamlet Syndrome, I suppose.

HR at work

      Even though I said "our version", HR predates RG by a good few years, which is proof of something jingoistic.

What Weather!
Today is Summer.  Literally.  I can evidence this.  Art?  Plate down, picture up.

     You might be forgiven for not recognising this bus stop, as previously when I've taken a photograph it's been grey, overcast, raining or with streams of lava pouring down the hillside.  However, as you can tell by the shadows the sun is shining.  Given the vagaries of the weather here in the Allotment, we have to treat a day like today as if it were the only day of Summer extant.  Why, I even went into town without a coat - such daring!
     Most ridiculously, there is rumbling on the news of a potential drought looming.  how is this even remotely possible, given the frequency of days when the very Atlantic itself unloaded from the heavens?  What the heck did they do with all that water?

A Clerihew Or Two
Let us once again unload mild opprobrium upon some musical icons.  I did these on the bus-ride home, as I have not taken Edna for a walk today.  Yet!  Yet, I'll do that after this, okay?  

David Gilmour

Is no longer poor.

However, before "The Wall"

He didn't have much money at all.

     Very true, actually.  Their investment firm was run by a collection of crooks who embezzled the money, something like that, and the only person who did well out of The Wall tour was Rick Wright, who'd actually been sacked from the band but kept on as a session musician, to quell wagging tongues and keep the image going.

Rick, early Seventies version

Elton John
Is not a Don.
Because he does not come from Iberia,
Where a Don is someone rather superior

     I'm not sure what they'd make of him in Spain.  He is British, yet he's also rather - er - ostentatious, which is a bit much, frankly.  

Elton in a quiet, reflective moment (for him)

Next!

David Hasselhoff

Likes to quaff.

He drinks twenty pints a day,

And is often guilty of affray.

     Say what you like about The Hoff, he's not remotely precious about his image, and I remember thinking what a good sport he was for appearing in the "Spongebob Squarepants Film".

Syd Barrett

Never played with Keith Jarrett

Because Keith had a jazzy schtick

And Syd preferred his keyboardist, Rick

     This is perfectly true, to my uncertain recollection.  Keith Jarrett is a South Canadian jazz pianist, and I've already mentioned Rick Wright, keyboards chap in Pink Floyd.  By now I think I've wrung out all the permutations possible with Syd, but we shall see, we shall see ...

Keith Jarrett's shirt giving Elton a run for his money

*  Loose leaf and Fairtrade only