THRRP!

No! That Is Not A Typo
How many times does Conrad have to tell you, and snarkily at that, he does not make spelling mistakes?  I may have blown up the wrong planet on occasion in the past, but spellings I get right.

Ooops.  My bad!

     "Aha!" I hear you respond.  "Clearly you are referring to the late, great Leo Baxendale and his concept graphic novel."

Thus

     Well, no, actually, not at all.  
     Here an aside.  You may not be familiar with the name "Leo Baxendale" yet I bet you're familiar with at least one or two of his artistic creations, him being a cartoonist.  Such as: Minnie the Minx, The Three Bears and above all, The Bash Street Kids.  Art?

The gang

     This lot came to be in 1954, and must have appalled and frightened those adults who fondly imagined all schoolchildren to take after the mould of Tom Brown or Stalky.  TBSK were a collection of anarchists, who constantly rebelled against authority in the form of Teacher and Head.  Art?

Teacher.  That thing on his head is a mortarboard.

     There he is.  As you can see, he doesn't have much hair, and he must dye it, because with the kind of stress levels inflicted by TBSK it ought to be snowy white, not to mention quivering.

Hey!  Teacher!  Leave those kids alone!

     Well now, that's the entire Intro dedicated to what the title's not about.  Shall we proceed with what it is about?     

"The Short Timers" By Gustav Hasford
If you have a memory beyond that of a goldfish then you recall Conrad bewailing how much a tatty old version of this cost on Abebooks, £25 for a 20-year old edition that was only 'Fair' in terms of condition.
     Wellllll after posting that I naturally turned to teh interwebz, and - Golly Gosh! - there was a free PDF version going begging that I am reading my way through.
     So that THRRP! was your humble scribe cocking a snook whilst simultaneously blowing a raspberry at that tatty 20 year-old edition.

That's a snook and I'm cocking it

     So, no, nothing to do with Leo Baxendale.

Let Me Regale Ya With The Azalea
Again, I am relying on your memory being effective, as I have already commented once on a breed of flower - or is it a type? - that I considered rather too showy for the Allotment's green and pleasant land.  Art?

     This was taken back on May 2nd in what you can see is that most unfamiliar of circumstances here in the Allotment, bright sunlight.  And equally bright plants, too.  I have since learned that these are Azaleas, and that they are quite hardy plants that can endure not being watered whilst Wonder Wifey is off in foreign climes ...

Ahem.  Mea culpa*

     Just so you know, there are plenty more azaleas where that first lot came from.  Art?

     Frankly I feel that these are just too bright and exuberant, showy if you know what I mean - un-British - and it would be far better if they came in muted shades of grey.

Conrad And The Ballfoot Game
If I use that term I refer of course to the game that Britain gifted to the world, which is apparently known in South Canada as "Soccer" because their game of rugby is also called football.  I know, I know, it doesn't make sense to me, either.

Close enough

     Conrad knows very little about the game, and doesn't care to change this, but he does derive a malicious amusement from the Comments to be found on the BBC's Sport pages when football is a topic.  In the case of "Diving bans" there are well over 1,000 comments, ranging from well-thought out critical analysis to barely coherent ranting; in some cases it is hard to discern whether English is not someone's mother tongue or their rage is causing typos galore.
     The subject matter is a way of dealing with ballfoot players who pretend to be injured in order to gain advantage, colloquially known as - diving.  Nothing to do with Jacques  Cousteau.  The Football Association's more formal term is "simulation".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39962886

     That above is the link if you care to see people ranting and tanting.  Of course, because this is the Comments section, plenty of teams and players are mentioned as being likely to suffer from this enforcement of the rules.

Diving simulation?

*  Latin for "I am guilty"