BOOJUM!: I Cannot Sit Down

I Know What You're Thinking -
- because DARPA have successfully trialled their telepathy helmet and guess who had a go on it?
But you're wrong, Conrad is not gibbering with excitement and thus unable to plonk his posterior in a chair for any length of time, due to the return of Wonder Wifey from sunnier climes, although that is happening later today. There is someone who would be gibbering with excitement if she knew this for a fact -

Edna, sulking

Edna Wunderhund, obviously. That above is her sulking because Her Rightful Place is being occupied by the laptop.
No, the inability to sit down is metaphorical, rather than real, as the Coincidence Hydra has been fastening it's incisors in my nethers, again, and twice at that.
Which will be gone into later, as first of all we switch completely and deal with -

Doctor Who!
I think it's safe to review the first episode by now, as it is four weeks old, which is a lifetime for television. It was called "The Pilot", which is a pun, right? The preamble made a lot about the Doctor's first openly gay assistant, which confused Conrad, because what about Matt Lucas or Captain Jack?

The Doctor does his Strange impression.

Anyway, they started it with a terrible Doctor What pun. Bill has some amusing insights into the nature of the TARDIS - is it a kitchen attachment? A knocked-through apartment? A lift*?
Bill ends up being pursued by a rather damp lady called Heather, who proves to be made out of liquid, so the Doctor and Bill go whizzing off into the far distant future, still pursued by Heather, who appears to have a crush on Bill, although she says goodbye - is this clear? It was a bit rushed as a resolution.

Heather get wet

Although I did like the self-referential bit about the Daleks and Movellans, even if you have to be very old indeed to remember them first time around. And Nardole is an amusingly cranky cyborg or android, whichever he turns out to be.

Image result for doctor who the pilot movellan

Movellans first time around

Perfidious Albion Is -
Perfidious. Yes indeed. Conrad is currently reading "Codebreakers", by James Wyllie and Michael McKinley. Art?

Image result for code breakers james wyllie

The subtitle is a bit long to type out, frankly

This illustrates a point I have made quite often of late, that the British can be the most treacherous and sneaky people imaginable, especially if you expect them to abide by the rules of cricket.
"What's he banging on about now?" I hear you quibbling. "He's interfering with my after-dinner sherry."
Pausing only to note that sherry is the Devil's Drain-cleaner, I shall explicate.
Prior to the First Unpleasantness breaking out, Imperial Germany's telegraph connections to the world beyond Europe amounted to 5 undersea cables. The British decided, in the case of war breaking out, that those cables were toast. They declared war on the Teutons on 4th August 1914 and on the 5th August they hauled all 5 cables up to the surface and cut them all to bits.
And they had decided to do this in 1912, which, as I am sure you can see, predates the First Unpleasantness, just a bit.

The cable-cutting culprit

About That Coincidence Hydra -
I have already mentioned Matt Lucas, whom I'm sure you remember featuring in Reeves And Mortimer, as well as Doctor Who.
Let us then switch tracks abruptly and talk instead of Ben Folds, whom I have been listening to a lot of late, especially "Songs for Silverman". The stand-out track for me is "Jesusland" which is probably horribly satirical and ironic, so we won't go over the lyrics.
The video, however ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F5-UdF-dXE

There's the Youtube link if you wish to verify my story**. Whilst listening to this track on Youtube, I spied a face that looked strangely familiar ...