When I Went To Prison

Today's Intro Is Inspired By Mandy
She being one of the two people at work who miss me <pause for sympathetic weeping and rending of garments, rubbing ashes into hair optional> and who commented on Facebook about a documentary about Strangeways Prison.
     For those of you who do not reside in the Allotment of Eden, nor Babylon-on-the-Irwell (Manchester to you), I should point out that Strangeways is that grim edifice located right in the city centre, next  to the MEN Arena and where the old Boddington's brewery used to stand.  Art?

Strangeways

     If you are familiar with The Smiths you may be aware of a track of theirs, "Strangeways Here We Come", and this is the destination they were referring to.
     "Er - what did you get sentenced for, Conrad?" I hear you nervously query.  "Murder?  Poisoning?  Burning down the nunnery?"
     None of the above.
     We are going back to 1983 and my Psychology degree, one of the modules being Criminal Psychology, which was run by Doctor Pete Bannister.  I say "Pete" as he was very human and approachable.
     One thing he did was arrange a visit to Strangeways for us on his module, with the warning that any female attendees had to wear trousers or jeans - no skirts.  This is because Strangeways is a male prison, and we travelled up and down stairs and landings, which were all mesh grille - see-through.  Escorted by wardens, I should add, we weren't allowed to merely wander aimlessly on our own.

The layout

     The Victorian design, we were informed, had a central hub (as seen above) where the prison staff were situated, thus being able to see along each of the wings.  This enabled maximum surveillance with minimum staff or effort.  You can also see the yards above where prisoners took their exercise; at the time of our visit they all wore denims and donkey jackets, with different markings to denote status.
     At one point our little party was verbally accosted by a man shouting from a small window, probably in a state of excitement brought on by seeing girls.
     "Just ignore him," stated our escorting warden.  "Though he's made an effort.  That window is fourteen feet above the ground."
     Now, if I were to mention porridge, you might think I was banging on about my low-GI breakfast, which I had today for the first time without salt, and it was still pretty edible.

If that box were any more Sottish, it would order a pint of heavy

     However, typically of the blog that has nothing to do with what follows next, unless prisoners can choose a delicious breakfast of porridge made with milk with salt NOT SUGAR NEVER SUGAR!!!
     No, I refer to that classic comedy series "Porridge", starring Ronnie Barker, and it is a classic because of it's quality, not simply because it's old*.  Art?

A mo,ment's respectful silence, please

     You see, we ended up in the office of the Governor, who kindly took time to see us and answer any questions we had.  Trying to sound intelligent - difficult for me even now let alone at age 22 - I thought what might be an interesting question and boldly asked.
     "Why yes,"  replied the Governor, amused.  "The prisoners and staff all LOVE 'Porridge.'"
     It was very interesting as a visit, and a caution about a Victorian building still in use in the late 20th Century, because you can cram a quart into a pint pot but two quarts is over-doing it rather.

Well, that take care of most of today's post.  What I want to do now is get a bit of scoff and then take our Wunderhund for a walk, it being a nice sunny day and your humble hack doing his dog-sitting duties.  In the meantime -

ATOM-BOMBING SATURN!!!
At least that would be the title if The Sun** or The Daily Star** were writing the article.
     I refer, of course, to the Cassini astronomical probe, which has been operating around Saturn for the past 12 years.  Art?

The probe in orbit

     The probe has now almost consumed all it's supplies of propellant, which means it cannot be manouvered any longer and will thus become uncontrollable.  
     Yes, this is a bad thing!  It might crash into one of the Saturnian moons, which at the very least would cause contamination, as the probe is powered by a thermoelectric generator utilising plutonium.  Radioactive, you see, and there's over 70 pounds of plutonium aboard.  If it hit a moon like Enceladus there would be a risk of any potential life in the sub-surface ocean being poisoned.

Enceladus

     Yes, that would be a bad thing - I refer you to the alien invaders in "The Kraken Wakes" being from a moon of Saturn ...
     Anyway, Cassini is going to end up in an orbit that will have it burning up in Saturn's atmosphere.  Phew!



*  "Are You Being Served" I am looking directly at you with gimlet eyes.
**  Ha!  Do you see - O you do