Did You Miss Me?

What Do You Mean -
 - "Was I gone?"
     Yes!  Yes I was!  As fate, timing and buses would have it, I left The Mansion at mid-day yesterday and didn't return home until 8:30 post meridian, meaning insufficient time to create the quotidian Work Of Wonder, which meant - the blog!  The blog is the WOW!  O I despair - which meant posting a placeholder.

Conrad, looking despairing.  Or hungover.

     "And what is the reason for this dereliction of duty?" I hear you cavil, as if was any concern of yours - but it involves me gloasting so I'll explain.

Fun With Cats And Dogs
You may remember Conrad going on about Anna, that nice lady from work, who really is as nice on the inside as the outside*.  Well, as partial commiseration at no longer being gainfully employed at my - okay, it was the Co-Op, there, are you happy now? - at being a gentleman of leisure, she offered to take me to the Cat Cafe.
     NO!  The menu does not offer Fricasseed Feline, Puss In Pastry or any other cooked concoction your poisonous mind can come up with.  The cats are the attraction; you humans (and I) merely gaze upon them.  Jenny thinks this is a great idea, don't you, Jenny?  Jenny?

     Hmmm.  Overdid it with the catnip, I suspect.
     Back to the cafe.  You have to sign an agreement that, essentially, you aren't going to be an utter bumbletuck to the cats, and if you tug their tail and get a faceful of fang as a result, yah booh sucks to you.  You also need to either take your shoes off or put on blue plastic galoshes.  No feeding the furry rascals, either, unless it's food specifically purchased at the Cafe itself.
     I think that sets the scene rather.  Whom did we meet first, but Ygritte.  She's a Norse Mountain Lion cat, something like that.  They have a menu card describing each cat, FYI.

Ygritte, being queen of all she surveys, and the puny humans, too

     The atmosphere certainly isn't like that of a normal cafe, yet it is very tranquil.  You have to let the cats come to you, and there are a set of Cat Nannies on the wander to make sure this rule is adhered to.
     There are various lures and toys lying around that you can, with luck and diligence, attract cat attention with.  Snowy, a Bengal Tiger cat or something like that, went at one toy that was a ball in a plastic bag.

Snowy = 1; Plastic Bag = 0

     The ball had an eccentrically-mounted motor that kept it moving across the floor, and that brief tussle with Snowy was all the cat attention it got.  Anna tried to get a shot of Ygritte in bed -

Ygritte sleeping in someone else's bed

     I did mention Anna paying for this, didn't I?  You get free drinks, but have to pay for cakes if the hunger takes you.  The purchase of cat treats is also timed, as the nannies don't want to spoil any appetites.  Ours was brought in a cup by a nanny who rapped it loudly with a spoon, and the hitherto aloof denizens all came a-flocking to see what goodies Anna and Conrad were dishing out.
     Prime candidate for Sheer Greed was Stanley, a Siamese Panther kitten or something like that.  

Stanley! Your manners!

     He did his very best to stick his entire head in the cup, and where the other cats were content to be fed, he was right in there to do the feeding himself.

     He might learn table manners at some point in the near future, but on the evidence to date I doubt it.
     At nearly six o'clock the male nanny put out plates of chicken for the cats, most of whom couldn't be bothered to get out of bed.
     Not Stanley!  He was right there.

     He not only finished off his plate but three others as well, the skinny gourmand.  They have good appetites, those Burmese Panthers.
     Of course, Conrad is also a glutton of the most hypocritical kind, as this display of dead food bowls at Yo! Sushi goes to prove -

     You can't tell but that container in the background held sweet pickled ginger, which is one of your humble scribe's most favouritest foods, and by the time he'd finished there was one heck of a lot less in the container than before he sat down.  Don't worry, it's a low-GI food.
     Then there was our post-puss prandial <tries to think of a relevant word beginning with "p" and fails> dining at Mowgli's, because after all, if you're in the presence of an attractive woman**, you don't make a dash for the bus.

     That's my Agra Ginger Chicken and to the right, the second-best thing in the day***, Rose & Cardamon Lassi, which was pricey but wonderful.  Also quite filling, so once again I really ought not to carp at young Stanley.

     And that is the story of how Conrad had fun at the Cat Cafe, and why you didn't get a fresh blog yesterday, as the - YES I WAS AWAY YESTERDAY!
*  This will make her blush as she can't handle compliments.
**  More blushes.
***  I would name the first but - you know, blushes.