Turks, Works And Quirks

In Other Words, Business As Usual
Don't fret, these Turks are the historical variety, closer to the Ottomans than the Young Ones (Turks, that is, not Rick Mayall et al).  We'll get to them later.
     Meanwhile, further of fiction.  On Sunday night that insistent, persistent nag in the corner - Terpsichore, the Muse of inspiration - proved too much and I added another 700 words to <drum roll and sackbut fanfare> 'The Annals Of Urquelomplangia', which is not bad going for 10:30 in the evening.  Last night I added another 550.  Mind you, it was a scene I'd had in mind for ages, about the fat, foolish Sir Ector de Vaillance taking on the duelling killer Count Graf Von Schweringen; in fact I'd gone over it so many times in my mind that the fact it wasn't actually written out was a bit of a surprise.
     Don't give up on Sir Ector; things are not as they seem.

How Sir Ector sees himself -

     Conrad is quite pleased with this 1250 words of wonder*, as it came on top (Sunday night, that is) of 1500 words for BOOJUM! too.  That's the quantity.  The quality ...
     For Your Information, TAOU was begun far too late last year to be entered into National Novel Writing Month, which I have now remedied as we are now nearly 19,000 words into it.  The plot is that of the last (rather feeble) wizard in the kingdom, and indeed Europe, accidentally acquiring royal status, and his discomfort at being plonked into a seething political quagmire.  Rather dark humour, too.

Barney approves

     Having typed that, I realise I now need to come up with a reason why magic isn't used elsewhere in Europe.  Brain - get working!

Clerihew Times Two Times Two
Four of the little rascals, in other words.  Today we focus on some of the giants of science fiction, which Conrad loves to abbreviate to "sci-fi" because it annoys the sci-fi afficionadoes, otherwise known as humourless pedants**.  So without further ado -

Arthur C. Clarke

Once holidayed on Sark.

He was impressed by the greenery.

"They have," he said, "Nice scenery."

     Nothing too dreadful there, eh?  Don't worry, here comes the mild approbation.

Robert Heinlein

Collected twine.

What he did with it isn't clear.

He may have kept it over there, or right here.

     Now for that curse of the modern age, camera drones chocolate!

Ray Bradbury

Loved eating Cadbury.

He had to keep it quiet,

Or his wife would have put him on a diet.

     And now for full-blooded invective!

Isaac Asimov

Had a nasty cough.

Because he smoked a hundred a day.

No wonder he passed away.

"Assassin's Creed"
You what?  Conrad, as we all know, is an idle fellow who is fond of any shortcut that lightens his load when it comes to being creative.  Thus he wrinkled his brown in appreciative puzzlement when he witnessed a bus poster proudly declaiming "Assassin's Creed". 
     'Hang on, isn't that an old film, and that an out-of-date poster?' I asked myself, forgetting to make this an internal dialogue and thus worrying the other passengers.
     No!  It's a current bus poster, so -
     "Assassin's Creed", eh?  I would have thought an assassin's creed would be quite succinct: 

0)  Blend right in

1)  Kill your target
2)  Don't get caught
3)  Avoid being double-crossed by your employer
4)  This might go without saying (but you never know, nothing as peculiar as people) - don't get an unique bar-code tattooed in a highly-visible place that allows CCTV to instantly identify you.

Er -

The Metro
As a stopped clock is right twice a day, or once if it's digital and on the 24 hour system - although quite how it would continue to display a fixed time at all, given that it's probably a battery problem and we'd be more likely to have NO display rather than one locked in place -

That'll larn ya

     - I feel this analogy has become rather strained.  Let us start again.
     Just as it is possible for a monkey to type out the complete works of Shakespeare, just rather improbable***, so does The Metro occasionally get things right.  Today, in an obvious reach thanks to the debut of "American Gods" on television, they feature Neil Gaiman.

The mop-top rascal himself

     He used to work for 2000AD, you know.
     Yes, that is a lot of preamble for very little content.  Now you know how the Ottomans felt about Byzantium - "That monstrous head without a body".
     When did Trebizond finally fall^?

The towers of Trebizond

     And we're at count!  Nor have you had to endure any of TAOU, but you've only dodged the bullet today, as there is all the rest of the future to endure.  Heh.


*  Or perhaps wander.  A matter of perspective.
**  I speak of what I know, being one myself.
***  A model of gross understatement
^  1461 AD, which is quite a bit less than 2000 AD,