Diesel Four-Stroke

That Sounds Appropriately Mechanical, Doesn't It?
Of course, this being BOOJUM! you can count on it not being strictly true - mostly true, at a pinch - partly true? - okay, it's a complete misdirection as per usual, but you'll have to wait until later as we have a long set of interconnected guff high-quality prose to get through before we hit bottom.
     First, we take a detour to the last vestiges of the Byzantine Empire, and what it wrought.  Yesterday I mentioned Trebizond, didn't I?  You may never have heard of it, but it was the very last bit of aforementioned empire to fall, and it still exists after a fashion today, as Trebzond, on the southern shores of the Black Sea.  I'm sure there's a literary work somewhere entitled "The Towers of Trebizond" and if time allows I may even Google it*.

A tower

     Now, none of this has to do with what follows, which is par for the course round here, the way we operate and how I roll.  Sorry to labour the point but you need to get used to these mental gymnastics or you'll be in trouble.
     ' -zond' I thought to myself.  Silently, as doing this aloud frightens other passengers on the bus.  'Zond'.  I've heard that name before.  Where does it come from?
     Aha!  From Sinister-era spacecraft, I'll have you know, two flavours.  By the way, "Zond" is Ruffian for "Probe" so Cartman beware ...
     The first iteration flew around the dark side of the Moon and took photographs before winging it's way to Mars.  Art?

The article in question

     Flavour the second was an unmanned test-bed used to prep for the Ruffian moonshot.  Fortunately for any likely cosmonaut volunteers, the South Canadians got there first, as Zond #2 was - er - a bit of a deathtrap.  The cosmonauts might have made it to the Moon, they most certainly wouldn't have made it back to terra firma alive.

Zond 2 absent crew

     Shades of "Capricorn One" methinks ...


Speaking Of Films ...
I have now spotted bus posters for "Fast And Furious 8", which has the tagline "Family no more".
     Hmmm.  Colour me cynical but none of that lot look even faintly related.  And what's with the submarine leaping from beneath the ice-pack?  I can feel the ghost of Sigmund Freud looking over my shoulder with his ectoplasmic pen poised over an ethereal notepad.
     Here an aside.  We've not had one yet, have we?  Submarines can and do surface from beneath the polar ice, but they are severely limited by the thickness of said ice, and they do it gingerly, conning-tower first.  NOT as if auditioning for Michael Bay. 

How it's done in real life

 Doing it nose-first, where the pressure hull is compromised by torpedo-tubes, is a great way to get sunk.
     Really, where did they get their ideas about ocean-going submersible vessels?

Okay, fair enough

Well Well Vin Diesel
This is the bit i referred to in the title of today's blog, and much to my surprise there is actually such a thing as a four-stroke engine.
     None of which has anything to do with this post, of course - see Intro if confused.  No, here we shall be laying into that mountain of muscle, Vin D.  Time for a clerihew or two!

Vin Diesel

Had a pet weasel.

It bit him on the ass.

So he put it out to grass.

     Okay, that was vaguely insulting, as weasels are not vegetarian and would not do well on a diet of greens.

Vin Diesel

Paints on an easel.

His work is popular in Truro

Because of easel-y chiaroscuro.

     That's art, that is.  Art.  No, I'm not going to explain it, or you won't appreciate how clever I am.  Go Google it.

Vin Diesel

Cured the measle.

We've a lot to be thankful for,

As we shall be spotty no more.

     Actually that was quite complimentary, wasn't it?  I do like to confound people now and then.

Vincent of the Diesel clan

Is a most salubrious man.

So well-behaved he could meet your mum

And not embarrass you by saying "bum"

     That was even more complimentary, wasn't it?  Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be back to normal tomorrow. 

One of Vin's distant relatives

     Well here we are at count, and never even a mention of magpies, nor mendelevium, or mis-spelling but don't despair, there is always tomorrow.
     Providing, of course, the Zombie Apocalypse doesn't arrive overnight.


*  I did.  It's fearfully dull.  Avoid.