Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? (Again)

No I Am Not Repeating Myself
I'm not quite that senile - and before you add in "yet" be warned that I have very sharp hearing - that I carry on saying the same thing ad nauseum.  Not at all.  Well, okay, sometimes, but only when it's funny.
     Yesterday was all about flying Daleks, because otherwise - STAIRS!  I have to say that the comics - "graphic serial art reconstructions" is too much of a mouthful even if that's what they are - had flying Daleks a long time before the dramamentary did, because - SPECIAL EFFECTS! The Beeb used to be very stingy when it came to an SFX budget; remember for at least a decade that the lethality of the Dalek's blasters was indicated by merely switching contrast.

A reprise of yesterday

     We now change direction from a comic to real life, because I can.  And also because of a British inventor who appears to be an archetypal mad scientist.  Step forward Richard Browning.  Be careful when he does though, because -

Wheeee!

     - there tends to be a bit of a downdraught.   He's wearing an exoskeleton, six miniature jet engines and a helmet with a Head-Up Display, prompting the media (who can be a bit lazy) to call him "Iron Man".  I suppose "Carbon-fibre Laminate And Titanium Man" doesn't roll off the tongue quite as easily.
     Now, supposedly this thing can easily achieve an airspeed of 200 m.p.h.v and a height of several thousand feet*, and achieve it easily.  The word "Wow!" comes to mind.  Mr. Browning asserts that his invention is merely a bit of fun.  Oh yeah?

Tony Stark beware!

     The Civil Aviation Authority are currently humming and hawing about this piece of kit and how to regulate it, since it comes under the heading of Human Propulsion Technology.  At the very least you''d be required to wear a parachute with it, because falling from several thousand feet can severely impact your survivability, in addition to anything you hit.
     One other thing - if this HPT suit does become an item, you can expect Marvel's lawyers to be on the case instanter.

Look!  It's Carbon-fibre Laminate And Titanium Man!  Oh no - hang on -

     Now we have today's fascinating and informative Intro out of the way, time to ponder anon.

Perfidious Albion
Ah yes, the wicked Brits, ever smiling yet plotting deviously to do you in via devilish means, which you never saw coming.  Either with the positively evil Grand Slam, which makes a colossally big bang, to the Welrod pistol, which makes none at all.  Then we have the 81 mm 3 Inch mortar.  Art?

The Devil's Drainpipe

     This particular weapon has a very definite range limit; you stick a number of charges on the bomb and it goes to a certain distance.
     Unless, that is, you pour a pint of petrol down the tube before dropping the bomb down it.  This extra oomph helps the mortar bomb go a lot further than it ought to, and has led to some unpleasantly surprised bad guys.  Needless to say, Conrad urges you not to try this at home.
     Albion - Perfidious because we practice at it**.

Pimento
Conrad has for many years enjoyed scoffing olives stuffed with pimento.  For all he knows you do, too.  Until yesterday your humble scribe had never bothered about what a pimento was, exactly.  I mean, there's only a sliver of it in an olive, so what does it matter?
     Well, if your curiosity gets the better of you, it does indeed matter.  
     So, presto!  The pimento:

     It's obviously a variety of pepper, sweeter than the average capsicum.
    There you go, the pimento.
     Thanks, curiosity.

Give Me Not Giffgaff
Conrad is sitting typing this on the settee, despondent dog at his side (the laptop is on my lap rather than Edna, so she is indulging in a little sulking and whimpering), looking out the window whenever a bus goes by.
     No!  I am not checking if First Bus is sticking to their schedule - though they seem to be doing well.  No, I am talking about the bus posters plastered on their sides.  They have been pimping "The Boss Baby" and "Prettylittlething" incessantly and the only novelty has been something called "Giffgaff".

It's a gaff

     I suspect that Giffgaff is something to do with the Devil Box, which I hate with a passion.  So - come on, First, give me something to work with! 



*  Only ever Imperial measures here on BOOJUM!
**  Tee hee!