- but briefly, chaps, but briefly*. It has been decreed at my mighty, nation-wide yet still un-named employer, that Lo! some of the folks from Service Delivery can cross the Aisle Of Doom and sit with the foreigners from Payroll, there to learn their strange and arcane practices, their secret jargon, plus pick up a load of salacious gossip and indulge in flirty banter.
As the title says, that will teach your humble scribe to assume. I sat between Sophie - yes, that one - and Katie, anticipating a long and diverting chat, interspersed with networking** and work-shadowing. Two things thwarted my ambition: the customers, who kept ringing up to ask questions, and the disposition of both Sophie and Katie. Chit-chat? Badinage? A soupcon of wit and winningness?
Not a bit of it. Both were the very image of stoney-faced grim ruthless flinty application.
| Yeah! Just like that! |
"I say, do you know wh-"
"Shut up Rob we're working." Okay, this was only their body language yet that's the direct literal translation. Matters got worse.
"Rob, you're breathing too loudly."
"Rob, you're breathing."
If they hadn't finished long before I did, your humble scribe imagines the final commentary would have been:
"Rob, you exist," with a very strong sense of disapproval.
I apologise for confusing you by using the name "Rob" when I normally go by "Conrad", except that's what the humans know me by and I don't like to disappoint.
Camouflaged Alien Spies
Conrad has made this point before but it bears repeating: jib cranes are alien spies, hiding in plain sight under camouflage. Behold the evidence:
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| There they are, looking all - innocent! |
NO! Pay attention. Nobody actually saw those cranes arrive, did they? Nobody saw them being erected section by section, did they? No. One day, they were suddenly there. One day they'll suddenly have vanished, and nobody will have seen them being dismantled.
So. Take it from one camouflaged alien spy.
Books
Conrad has tidied. Not only that, he is looking to compile a Compact book list. Given that we are talking of over 650 items on military history, this means going for Size 8 font in 2 Columns, all bar the title being removed. Art?
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| Sic |
How To Thrive On A Diet Of Raw TERROR!
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| This chap had to look the word "fear" up in a dictionary to see what it was |
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-36097300
As is apparent from pictures, your humble scribe is fairly hefty in a tall sort of way and merely the idea of going caving is enough to give him the billy crinning wim-wams. I have been in Whitescar Caves, except only the pedestrianised bit. Donning scuba gear and exploring further? NO WAY! And yet these people cave dive in icy Norway for fun and amusement. Hom. Sap. - truly there is no judging you.
"Person of Interest" - Season 5
Don't worry, I'm not going to bang on at length about this*. BOOJUM! does, after all, try to be more than a simple recounting of what Conrad has been watching. Previously I have binge-watched each PoI season at a go, which means I had an excuse not to watch any of that "Gammy Horns" series that people are always yarking on about.
I am sure your life will be tinged with sadness now that I have to do what ordinary Hom. Sap. does, and wait a week between episodes
SPOILER ALERT!
The Machine survived. So does the dog. So far ...
| Ah. Clearly The Machine is more versatile than I realised! |
* This is a lie
** Okay, going to the kitchen together to brew up
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