Don't Get Me Started - About "Uncharted"

Apparently This Is A Computer Game
 - and not a film, a mis-identification that nobody has bothered to correct in either the Comments or on Facebook or Twitter, nope, no, non, nyet, nobody has noticed.  No bewailing or belabouring the point.
     This, naturally, leads Conrad to mischievous thoughts.  Would any of you know if he made a film up from scratch?  Say a low-budget horror film, with indie roots, that you wouldn't know from Adam, but which might well be featured in the lists of Anything Horror?

http://anythinghorror.com/

     The link, which you had better check out because I'll be auditing your ISP.
     The Medved Brothers did this in one of their seminal bad movie listing books; out of several hundred mentioned, one was a complete fake.  I never found out which.
     Anyway, back to "Uncharted".  Art?

Blimey.  There's been 3 others?  Who knew!

     What?  You expected a game review?  As far as Conrad is concerned, it all went downhill after "Missile Command", and you can quote me on that.  A game review?  Amidst this whimsical nonsense?  Or perhaps nonsensical whimsy.  Whichever.  Whatever.
     Now that the Intro is over, let the motley begin!

 - but not before we wow you with the hi-tec grafix of MISSILE COMMAND!!!

Jed Mercurio And Yesterday's Second Coincidence
I didn't post this on Monday as it would have scared you, as it certainly scared me.  
     "Ha!  What a scamp!" I can hear you comment.  "Conrad, with his nerves of plaited neutronium!"
     Flattering, if a little wide of the mark, yet showing a certain grovelling creativity.  Keep it up, keep it up - it'll keep you out of the organ-banks when my starship invasion fleet arrives.
     Where was I?
     O yes, that Mercurio chap.  Ex-doctor.  Critically-acclaimed for television programmes like "Bodies" and "Line of Duty", which Conrad hasn't seen and isn't interested in, and also responsible for "Invasion Earth", which he has seen and is interested in.  Briefly put, it's the chillingly plausible tale of what happens when advanced aliens encounter Earth and mount an invasion: you lot (Hom. Sap.) risk having to destroy Earth in order to save it.  No happy ending.  Bleak, if you like.

That's a good alien up there

     Conrad happened to be looking the series up, as young Jed has been mentioned of late in connection with that "LoD" programme, and what is the last episode of "IE" called?
     "Shatterer of Worlds", that's what.
     This has a particular resonance with your humble scribe as this is an alternative translation of that line from the Bhagavad Gita that I've mentioned of late - "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds", which can also be read as "Now I am become Death, the shatterer of worlds".

Tea and sympathy: how the British interrogate UFO pilots

     Food for thought, eh?

A Stern Warning About What You Call Edna
Please note that although Edna is a lady dog, you are not permitted to call her the "B" word.  Art?

Bless her

     She is a lady dog, please remember that, otherwise Wonder Wifey will come round and rip your gizzards out*.
     Thank you!

GLOBAL CATASTROPHIC RISKS!!!
Gosh, that sounds exciting, doesn't it!  Believe it or not, I read a short article buried in The Metro's interior about these, speculated to arrive within the next 5 years, and they had a list.  I cross-checked this with Wikipedia, and what do you know, there was a correspondence.  Wiki split their list into two parts - Man-made and Natural.  Let's examine Man-Made first, and your humble scribe's take on each.
     1)  Total War:  Nah.  The First and Second Unpleasantness combined didn't finish off more than 60 million people, which is less than one per cent of the world's total population today.  Total war isn't total enough, frankly.

"Total War" by The Comsat Angels.
Do you see?  How everything hangs together?

     2)  Nuclear War:  Nah, again.  Deliberate nuclear war went out of the window post Cuban Missile Crisis.  Accidental is a possibility but a spectacularly remote one - note the 50+ years of non-accidental nuclear war post CMC.  The number of nuclear warheads has actually decreased in number and yield; as missiles get more accurate they need less blam power**.

NORAD's defence simulator

     3)  Terminator-style Robots:  Please!  Forget it.  Have you seen the best robots Hom. Sap. can do?  That clunky astro-bot or others that can't even open a door without falling over.  Skynet - baffled by a Yale lock and a handle!

Hardly terrifying, is it?

     4)  Engineered viruses: More likely than the T-1000 yet still highly unlikely because these things always, but always, come back to bite one on the arse***.  Viruses are no respecters of national or political boundaries, and outside of the lab are able to mutate - so your entire vaccine stockpile becomes instantly useless ...

Cyrus the Virus.
And yes, he really is that evil.

I think we'll stop there as this is rather grim fare.  Well, for Hom. Sap. anyway.  Let me cheer you up with proof that I've completed today's Metro Cryptic Crossword:

Vindicated!

     It's actually Carol's paper, which I returned to her, and I suspect she'll be checking the solutions in tomorrows edition ...



*  I use the plural here as I'm not sure if your gizzard equates with your tripes.
** This is to simplify a spectacularly complex issue, but you don't have 3 hours to read a 50,000 word essay on the topic. Or do you?
*** That's a vulgarism for "bottom", FYI