- in just a minute. This post is actually a holdover from yesterday and the bus strike (chorus: "how do you tell the difference?") when I got a lift into Manchester with Degsy in the Murdermobile. One of the corollaries* of getting a lift in this fashion is listening to "Mission Log - A Gene Roddenberry Star Trek Podcast" as downloaded and Blue Viewed. This site has the ambitious aim of detailing every one of the 726 episodes of Star Trek broadcast, and you have to admire their ambitions, as at the rate of one episode per week, it will take them 14 years to complete. Ken Ray and the - aptly named - John Champion are the creative forces behind the site, and herein a link:
http://www.missionlogpodcast.com/
WARNING! May seriously impact your spare time! They are half-way through Star Trek: The Next Generation having gone through the original series. That merely leaves 7 seasons of Voyager, 7 seasons of Deep Space Nine and 4 series of Enterprise. By which time, as Degsy points out, a new Star Trek series will have arrived and been running for years. Heck, these guys might never finish!
This podcast dealt with the episode "Justice", which Conrad would have sub-titled "The Planet Of Arbitrary Capital Punishment", where Wesley Crusher is sentenced to death by the humanoid Edo for being annoyingly precocious.
No, sorry, for - er - destroying some plants. Yes, "plants" not "planets".
| Told you so! |
Lest you think I mock, try talking for 45 minutes on ANY topic in detail without repeating yourself and keep doing it for 20 years.
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| Helping to flog the blog |
Sorry, I realised I missed out some Glossary yesterday.
"Hom. Sap.": Abbreviated version of "Homo Sapiens", which is Latin for you lot - humans.
"Murdermobile": Our motorised money-pit. Comes with folding seats, CD player, atomic howitzer and a mysterious squeaking noise.
Picture The Scene
Imagine that the Wicked (but hot!) Queen has inveigled** her recalcitrant*** magic mirror into revealing the location of Snow White, and that she hastes there with a poisoned apple, disguised as an hideous old crone.
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| I'm not sure why she's wearing a diver's wetsuit |
SNOW WHITE: My God! Should you be out without a bag over your head?
WQ: Eh? What?
SW: Don't come too close, you might impinge on my beauty.
WQ: I - what?
SW: Also, if you're trying to sell things, move along now.
WQ: But - I came to give you an apple. See?
SW: An apple! Do I look like a horse?
WQ: It's a very nice apple.
SW: Is it organic?
WQ: Er - ah - oh, yus, ever so.
SW: I don't see the Soil Society sticker.
WQ: Oh, aye, must have rubbed off.
SW: Besides, is it Fairtrade?
WQ: What's that?
SW: Trendy. Besides all that, I'm on a soft fruit diet.
WQ: But - the apple. I picked it special.
SW: Oh give it here you nouty old cow.
WQ: Oh good. Oh. Aren't you going to eat it right now?
SW: No I am not! Soft fruit, like I said. I shall peel it and puree it and boil it up with sugar and water.
WQ: But that will -
SW: Yes?
WQ: Oh, nothing. I'll be going, then.
SW: Yes, cut along quickly now and put your bag back on.
WQ: Oh and yer got a pimple coming on yer nose.
| "Tomato, anyone?" |
"The B.F.G."
Conrad was intrigued by a full-page advert in The Metro yesterday, even to the extent of taking a photograph. Art?
Which is obviously an abbreviation for "Big Foot Girl", a touching tale of a girl and her podiatric pulchritude of plenty. Or, a Big Foot.
NO! Not Bigfoot, although the owner of that mighty appendage might well be considered a variety of cryptid.
Actually Conrad is uncertain about this one. The original animation is much-loved, even by a flinty-hearted scurmudgeon^ like your humble scribe. So - W.S.S. ("We Shall See")
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| Snozzcumber, anyone? |
* Things <translation courtesy Mister Hand>
** Persuaded <translation courtesy Mister Hand>
*** Stroppy <translation courtesy Mister Hand>
^ Like a curmudgeon except worse
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