I Am Cat. Therefore I Am Clever

Admit It -
If you have a cat as a pet, then you know that title is going round their head pretty much all of the time, except possibly when you get the tins of Felix out and then it's "You're my best friend ever -" until they've eaten and then it's "Yes?  And you are?"
     "Where are you going with this, Conrad?" I hear you query.  "Hurry up, Countryfile is on soon."
     Ignoring your obsessive desire to watch lambs gambolling in meadows, I shall expound.
     Jenny is the other pet in our household, a cat as opposed to the hound Edna*.  She rarely ventures into the lounge as this is the normal fiefdom of Edna, who will chase Jenny from the room on sight.  More out of high spirits than anything else, one hopes.  This afternoon Edna was out in the garden - we shall come back to this later - and the kitchen door had been left open, so who came to keep your humble scribe company?

"Feel blessed, human."

     She sat and purred in smug contentedness, happy to be trespassing.  Of course the calm didn't last long.  Art?

"Your sentence construction is poor."

     Suddenly everyone's a critic, eh?  After getting bored with feeling smug, Jenny got investigative.

"I am inspecting for food.
Nope, no food."

     Then, feeling that she'd scored enough Clever Points for the afternoon, off she strolled.

Sleep Genie Adam Mattress
I've no idea what the heck this is, it was a title on the television programme Guide and you know me, any odd combination of words just has to be written down for future reference. Will a little Google-fu help?

Not really

     It doesn't look anything like a mattress, but it's interesting.

Back To The Back Garden
Wonder Wifey has been acquiring a set of garden furniture for pennies over on E-bay, and although I didn't have to hump the stuff home I feel compelled to show what you can get for £5.99 if you're canny.  Art?

     At the time I took this photo it was extremely hot outside and the chairs had heated up nicely, otherwise a cushion might be necessary.  You can also see my giant crumpet slathered with honey, which made a mess of my moustache**.
     Then there was the wicker stuff, firstly a big wicker settee.  Art?

     Then a wicker chair and stand:

     Plus a large mirror converted to stand duty as a frame for climbing plants:

     Well done Wonder Wifey!  And Degsy, for doing the hauling so I didn't have to.  You certainly have a lot of wicker there.  Almost - dare I say it - 

Plane to see

Public Service Broadcasting
You know, the band - J. Willgoose Esq. and Wrigglesworth.  The former the very epitome of a well-dressed Englishman, the latter - well, a bit seedy-looking, frankly.
     But we're not here to discuss fashion***!  Art?  Wheel in the evidence:

Evidence

     You can track this down yourself on Facebook.  I have to admit I simply don't recognise the remixed track, which is probably a good thing as a remix ought to be different from the original.
     Also, a tad alarmingly, I realised it's now just over a year since I saw them at the Ritz.  Come now, chaps, haven't you got any new material yet?  Conrad would like to know!

Also Check This Out
I have kind of straitjacketed myself with this screenshot.  "No more ranting at the Foobs and the Twits" is the new charm offensive ruling, so how can I spin this one?

See?

     Personally, I think "Odesi" looks like a clunky Atari videogame BUT! it has inspired me to become musical and create songs and melodies with chord progressions and basslines (whatever the latter two are)!  In fact !!!
      Ah, who am I kidding.  Conrad's musical ability amounts to being able to hit a triangle with a metal stick, very very hard.

Now, I'm building up to something with this next post, and there will be a test later.

"Sprint"
If ever there was an apt name ... Here we are talking about the Sprint Anti-Ballistic Missile, which was designed as a point interceptor, targetting warheads that were approaching their ground zero point.  If you want to see something insanely fast, follow the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msXtgTVMcuA

     This baby makes the fastest sportscars look like snails on sedatives, and you wonder if Wiley E. Coyote isn't going to pop up in the corner.  The less-amusing part is that it carried a nuclear warhead, just to make extra-specially sure it got the target, although if I were the target and saw this thing coming at me, I'd surrender instantly.  Art?

     Don't forget, test questions later!



* This sounds faintly disrespectful, for which I apologise.  Just in case.
**  No, this detail is nothing to do with garden furniture.  I wanted to establish an atmosphere.
***  I should hope not, I know nothing about it.