PROFESSOR X MAKES A CUP OF TEA!

Loose Leaf Darjeeling, Of Course
Because the James McAvoy iteration of Prof. Xavier is British, don't you know.
     "Blimey!" I can hear you say.  "He's early at the sherry tonight."
     Actually I detest sherry, which is a crime against tongues, and I RESENT YOUR ATTITUDE!  My comment has nothing to do with alcohol-fuelled delirium, I can manage delerium quite well unassisted.  I have touched on this topic before, so let me add in an image for you:

     X-MEN APOCALYPSE.  Note the hyphen, it stops the Ex from feeling lonely*.  Not a title to be softly spoken, more like shrieked from the rooftops.  Conrad is already somewhat fed up with this Hollywood hype.  Go away and be subtle!  Polish the china!  Oil the hinges!  Re-pot your triffids daffodils!
     Besides which, the lead baddie is blue.

Blue, with weird fashion sense

     Sorry, no.  Just no.  Not for a bad guy.  Black - the classic colour.  Red - yes, especially for female-variety villains.  White - a bit doubtful, unless you're Saruman.  But blue? 
     Go away and come back when you've thought of something good.  Emphasis on "good".

Well now that's the Intro out of the way, let the motley begin!

My Tongue Is Terrible
We knew that already, with all the insults that come boiling off it at the slightest provocation.  I refer, however, to the sense of taste that it comes equipped with.  My tastes are, perhaps, open to question - curried lime pickle, anyone? - although some take this as far as ridicule.  Take Petti and her reaction to my mugful of Marmite:
     "What's that smell?  It smells like gizzards.  Like chicken gizzards."
     I confessed the source of the smell.  Art?

     "You're a terrible person," she judged.  "On a sandwich is bad enough without you having a whole cup of it!"
     Conrad:  mocked, misunderstood and mad for Marmite.

How Gerry Anderson Invented the Modern World 40 Years Early
Don't even pretend not to know whom I am talking about, or there will be - trouble.
     Right.  The BBC website has an article about how drones with mission-specific cargo payloads could be used for emergency and disaster relief work.  Art?

Ignore the goat and the politician**.

     I shouldn't have to tell you the relevant guff about Thunderbird 2, but here it is anyway - "Mission specific cargo payloads".

The frankly rubbish BBC photo

     I think Art and I can do better.  Art?  Come out of the septic sump -

"Mission specific cargo payloads" - "Pods" is shorter

  This is from 1966, so I'm cutting the modern world some slack in stating 40 years.  Just look at this picture below of another remote-control drone and imagine it inked in the pages of TV21 by Mike Knox.

Yeah!

     That's the good stuff.
     Now, Mister Anderson, I'd like to tackle you about those Martian rock snakes ...

"Inept"
I've not didacted for a while about words, so when this one popped up in my mind I hastily made a note in my notebook - for if it isn't written down then it doesn't exist in Conrad's world - and pondered.
     Latin in origin, of course, as so many of the ills that trouble us are.  It means to be staggeringly bad at something.  Conrad on the dancefloor is an excellent illustration of this, as he would be pathetically grateful for having two left feet.

First Bus: ineptness in vehicular form

     However, contrarily, there's no antonym for is, is there?  Conrad banging out his wildly-imaginative prose to the amusement, entertainment and bemusement of his adoring readers reader, can be described as the opposite of "inept" in language terms.  I don't go around praising myself as "Ept", do I***?  You don't see descriptions of the masters of Combat Tiddlywinks being praised on the Beeb as "Ept", do you?

Comment Number 10
A wholesome comment that the whole family can enjoy!  But remember, small children can be baffled by BOOJUM!^ This one was added by Degsy after I shamelessly exploited Edna's cuteness quotient:  

I think the percentage of attention Edna gets from Wonder Wifey might be greater, given the amount of time through the day that they spend together.  Don't ask me to do the math.  FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T ASK ME TO DO THE MATH!

     This was because I calculated that, in Wonder Wifey's absence, Edna's doses of attention were reduced by 33%.  Art?

Edna when she was cute

*  Is this a joke?  Who knows!
**  Conrad desperately biting tongue and fingers to avoid getting Political
*** Of course if the word existed I still wouldn't use it.  British, you know.  Not the done thing, boasting.
^  Frankly, so can most adults