The Consolation Of Dog And Pasta

NO!
Not together in a bowl; Jeez Louise, the very thought would have Wonder Wifey reaching for a kitchen knife and Anna trawling the dark web for assassins.
     Okay, let me backtrack a little.  The 24 bus didn't turn up again - one can only wonder at the childish hopefulness that pervades your humble scribe's heart as regards First Bus turning up - so I got home a good 24 minutes late*.  The first thing to greet me, whimpering madly, was Edna, tail wagging so hard her bum threatened to unscrew.  This always puts your modest artisan in a better mood: given his flinty-hearted character it's a bit of a stretch for him to understand that somebody pines for him.

Art, you baffoon!  That's an oak - O I give up

     There you go.  The "Dog" part of consolation explained.
     The pasta dish was one made by Wonder Wifey earlier, enough being left over for your talented typist to have a heaping bowlful of it, and jolly tasty it was too.  Salmon, onion and mushroom.  As I gratefully scoffed it, I gave honest thanks and that's the pasta part of the consolation explained.
     Now that the Intro is out of the way, let the motley begin!

"The Trollenberg Terror"
Ta, Oscar.  Once again, NO idea why this popped up in my head.  But it did.  So here we are.  It's a black and white horror film from 1958, itself an adaptation of a television series from 1957, and because of the age of this article no episodes are known to survive.  Probably very few viewers, either!
     IMDB calls it "The Crawling Eye" but then they only rate it at 4.8 so what do they know.  Seriously, it rates at least a 6.0.

This is exaggerating, to be honest

     It concerns an alien invasion (of sorts) that is foiled by telepathic sisters, an American leading man, and jet bombers.  Gotta respect that heavy metal.

Tentacular terror tackled by Tucker!
(Forrest Tucker, that American leading man I mentioned)

     It is also one of the first films that your humble scribe recorded from television onto a Video Cassette Recorder, which was rather a dark art at the time, and I missed the ending off.  So for all I knew the aliens won.

Proof they didn't

"Vircator"
Or, Virtual Cathode Oscillator.  An Electro Magnetic Pulse bomb, in other words.  As described by Thomas Pynchon in "Bleeding Edge".  Conrad is still not convinced it's a real thing, despite there being a ton of pictures on teh interwebz, which might derive from TP himself, for the chap is a cunning creator of convincing fiction, or perhaps he only picked up on the conspiranoids, as he also likes a conspiracy theory.
     Plus, why on Earth is it called "Virtual" when it's so clearly PHYSICAL?

Hmmm.  It looks convincing ...

Wordblind
Funny how the brain's wired, eh?  For some reason Conrad always reads "LGBT" as the acronym for the Boilermakers union (the GMBU); there's doubtless a bad-taste joke hiding there but I leave it for you to discover.  
     As with vans whose livery announces that they are "shopfitters" - your humble scribe always reads this first glance as "shoplifters".  Which is possibly a comment on his honesty**.
     After writing this out on the bus, which particular union did I come across this afternoon, asking for dues to no longer be paid?  Yes, the LGT - the GMBU.  This can stand for today's coincidence.

Jim'll Paint It
Proof, lest it be doubted, that there are some very peculiar people out there, and then some.  "Jim'll Paint It" is a website run by Jim, who will - you probably got here ahead of me, didn't you? - paint a picture of anything you request.  Anything.

This is "Modzilla Versus Gothra"

     People see "anything" as an excuse to be extremely silly and/or bizarre.  I shan't condemn Jim for having entirely too much time on his hands, as this is only a side-project and he sells art to keep body and soul together.  I shan't post a link as this way I can pad the blog out with pictures for weeks and weeks, har har***!
     Now, ID all the "Twin Peaks" characters on this tee-shirt -

And no Googling!

And we're now at count or close enough, because it's late and the old man is tired.
Me!  I'm the old man - oh time for bed.


*  Actually 25 but I'm being ironic and poetic here, so.
**  Or lack of it.  You choose.
** Maybe only a week.  It depends on my attent

Twice On A Monday!

What Do You Mean, "What?"
The blog, you baffoons, the blog!  <sigh>  Normally on a Monday you get one novel post in the evening, yet because today is a Bank Holiday, and because Conrad's mind never stops working, you had an earlier one.
     "What, never?" I hear your curious voices call.  "Even when sleeping?"
     Often not even then.  Allow me to illustrate.
     "Vene, Vidi, Vici".  Which you might label "Oscar* Earns His Keep".  Take a bow, Oscar.  Now, get back into the Lower Cellar.
     (Don't fret, he's only a metaphor.  The rats and worms won't bother him, much).
     The phrase above popped into my head upon waking, earlier in the week.  It was said, as I recall, by Julius Caesar upon tripping and measuring his length on the English seashore whilst carrying out an invasion.  A bit of spin, actually, since the last bit took a lot of effort and time - the English not wanting to join the EU at that time, despite what Rome wanted**.

"Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf"
Well, yes, a table, but the point still stands

     APOLOGIES!  It translates as "I came, I saw, I conquered".  Sorry, not translating quotes is a pet peeve of mine.  You can see the roots of "Victory" in "Vici", can't you, and "Vid" gets you into anything visual, e.g. "Video".  Dunno about "Ven".
     As to why this popped up thanks to Oscar?  I couldn't Venture a guess.


Minden Day Mystery
To explain: Minden Day is the 1st of August, celebrated by certain British army regiments, over a victory gained over our opponents at the time, the French, in 1759.  I mentioned it in passing (and have been exploiting it ever since) as one of the activities is wearing a rose on one's tunic, since the fusiliers and grenadiers at the time plucked rose blossoms to add to their uniforms.

http://www.wenchesintrenches.co.uk/

     That's a link to Sue's site, alternative title "Roses of No Man's Land".  See?  See the connection?
     "Where are you going with this, Conrad?" I hear you ask.  "Even when asleep?" I hear you whisper as well.

Conrad: sleeps with his eyes open

     Okay.  Mysteriously, at the British Consulate in Chicago, a bunch of 6 roses is delivered there every Minden Day, and have been since 1967, with a handwritten note.  Paid for in cash with strict anonymity the rule.  Very much appreciated by the Consulate staff, but - why?  By whom?
     You never heard of Minden Day before I mentioned it, did you?  It's not famous or celebrated nationally (certainly not in France!) and has absolutely no resonance in South Canada.  Some suspect that the terms of a will are being executed but again nobody knows why.  Conrad also kind of hopes it stays a mystery.

VIFFing
Don't worry, nothing seedy or rude about this acronym.  This is BOOJUM! and we are ever Safe For Work.

Sanity is another issue

     If you have been reading recently then you will recall Conrad banging on about the Falklands War, and the British Harrier Jump Jet (the Russians had a crap version that set fire to aircraft carrier decks and could only fly for 15 minutes).  On paper, the Harrier isn't anything special, certainly not racy or fast, yet the US Marine Corps had scads of them, and you can count on one finger the number of foreign aircraft the USMC ever operated.  So it must have something going for it, mustn't it?
     Well yes.  Thanks to VIFF the Harrier is deadly in dogfights.  It can in VTOL mode (Vertical Take Off & Landing) take off from a tennis court, although make sure to shift the tennis players first.  Or it can use a ridiculously short ramp to STOL (Short Take Off & Landing).  In level flight, should you happen to be an enemy pilot who happens to get on the tail of a Harrier, then the Harrier pilot will adjust his jets downward for a second. 

Thus

 This is VIFFing and it kicks the Harrier vertically out of your gunsights, into a higher altitude at a lower airspeed.  Which not only gets it out of your gunsight - suddenly you are in it's sights.  Mutatis Mutandis!

Surrender or die, Sinister hordes!

Bruce Campbell And Twitter
A moment's silence for the incomparable Bruce Campbell.
     NO!  He's not dead, I was just being respectful.  Conrad follows him over on Twitter and he's a busy chap.  He's instigated a posting of photographs on Twitter, illustrating You The Public being idle in picturesque places, known as "Lollygagging", a word with 4 "g"'s in it that you don't often see.  Art?

Pretty bleak

     Iceland, Conrad feels, is where all the left-over bits from the creation of Planet Earth were dumped.  Apart from travelling to see Siggur Ros, Conrad can't see why you'd want to visit there.  Oh, and Bjork.  Oh, and Apparat Organ Quartet too.  Oh, and Mum - oh okay, okay, there are reasons to visit!

*  My subconscious, thanks for asking
**  This is two thousand years ago so Politics are permitted.

"Ty Nye Odin" - You Are Not Alone

And Once Again - Bitten By The Coincidence Hydra
How many times are you likely to come across the word "Odin" where you're not reading about Norse mythology?
     I ask because yesterday I was watching an episode of "Archer" where the ISIS* organisation was desperately trying to obtain a UN contract from Torvald Uttne, against their competitors.  Who were called - ah you guessed already - ODIN.
     Then, although I should expect this sort of thing when reading Thomas Pynchon, I come across those teenage gangsters Misha and Grisha singing that song in the title on page 466 of "Bleeding Edge".  I know that "One" in Russian is "Adin" so it's quite understandable that "Alone" is "Odin" -
     - but still!

I Googled "Zombie Hamster" and this came up.

     It also brought back a tagline I had for a future-war sci-fi film, where Hom. Sap. is fighting an enemy just as scinetifically advanced yet fantastically more numerous.
     "We are not alone" - which would have been at the top of the poster.
     Then you have a collage of destroyed human interstellar warships in orbit over Earth, and at the bottom -
     "But we'll wish we were."
     I could work this up as a treatment if you think there's any mileage in it?
     But for now, let the motley begin!

"Preacher"
Once again Conrad is surprised by i) Reality and ii) Television programming.
     Wonder Wifey was calmly stating that she'd seen the pilot episode of "Preacher".
     Not the comic book? queried your humble scribe.
     Oh yes.
     With Cassidy the Irish Vampire?
     Indeed.
     WHAT?!
     Colour me surprised.  Not only is the comic pretty gory source material, it concerns a preacher - one who drinks, rather, with self-doubt and a propensity for violence, as well as God abandoning Heaven, the offspring of angels and devils and - well, somewhat CONTROVERSIAL! one would think, certainly not likely to be - and yet here we are.

Ooooh!  He smokes as well!

     Also of note are the Executive Producers, Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, who created the series in the first place.  So, what you see is what they intended you to see.
     One to keep an eye on.

Cassidy, Jesse the Preacher and Tulip
Don't cross any of them!

A Screed Upon The Screen
You all know Conrad, a horrid old scurmudgeon at the best of times, and never more so when looking at the advertising for films he doesn't like the look of.
     If you want to treasure the image of your fellow man as being essentially good, you might want to avoid the rest of this post.
     Okay, let the poison flow!
     "Warcraft":  Imagine, if you will, a photocopy.  Then photocopy that.  And again.  And again.  Do this ten times and by that time it may still be recognisable, if only barely, from the original. Thus "Warcraft", a 10th generation clone of "Lord of the Rings".  Also, I believe the inspiration behind the film is a game, which is not a good pedigree for any film.  I shudder to think what went on in the boardroom that approved this.

A whatsit

Board members en route to the boardroom ...

   
  "Dirty Grandpa": You what?  Remarkably clean, don't you think?  Is this a wrestling film?  Bah.  I just can't be both

Hmmm.  no, actually, Mehhh.

     "Love And Friendship": Conrad tends to dismiss all this genre in 3 words:  Big Skirt Film.  I think you'll find that's an accurate and concise critical description.  What?  You want more?  Alright, doubtless there will be heaving bosoms** and dark leading men.  Chick Flick.  AVOID!

Really?  because that sounds really creepy.

"Redshirts"
If you've seen the original series of that obscure cult favourite "Star Trek" then you'll know the standing joke about Security staff, who all wear redshirts and are pretty much disposable cannon - excuse me - phaser-fodder***.  The only red shirt not to die horribly in every episode is Scotty, because - because - actually I'm not sure.  Perhaps his is a subtly different hue?
     Well, those chaps on "Mission Log" discovered a card game called "Redshirts". Art?

     The idea is to generate missions and scenarios and - first to get rid of all their Redshirts wins; except other players are trying to save your hapless phaser-fodder and indeed give you more redshirts if at all possible.
     One interesting point - it's completely unofficial and unauthorised, so it can't actually mention any of the copyrighted names.  You can't tell above but that hand-held energy weapon is a "Fayzor".

And we're at count!  I don't know if there'll be a second post today.  Probably.  I feel inspired.


*  Er - the series was created years and years ago.
**  Beneath dresses of course.  SFW don't you know
*** No nonsense about "phaser-phodder" here!