GO ON GOON!

It's No Secret -
 - that Conrad is a big, big fan of Eric Powell's "The Goon".  This particular comic is a work of middling genius and is so funny that your humble scribe dare not read it on the bus, for fear of laughing out loud and being dubbed, not merely "Probably Weird" but "Proven Weird".  Art?

NO!  Art!  My Tazer is -

     I'm counting to three, Art -

 - three - ah, just in time.

     Now, why would I suddenly confess this fond affection?  For no other reason than that The Goon movie may now be back on track for being made*.  Apparently the rousing success of "Deadpool" had a bearing on this - Deadpool being violent, funny, sweary and for grown-ups only, which is pretty much The Goon in a sentence.  Plus it was adapted from a comic.  I have some supporting evidence, too:

Cautious optimism all round

     I think it would work best as an animated film; trying to film a real-life version of the Goon's world, which shifts about in time from the Twenties to the Fifties without actually changing, would be a tad difficult.  Then there's the casting.  Art? - and get it right, Art -

The Goon holds forth about "Twilight"

     As you can tell from the second picture, The Goon is a hulking great brute of a man, which automatically disqualifies 99% of all actors.  He's no oil-painting either - one side of his face is terribly scarred, and he has bad teeth.  Which vainglorious Hollywood pretty boy would go for that kind of role?  Unless someone has blackmail material on their agent.
     I don't know if this will ever see the cold light of day.  I live in hope, though.

Conrad Clears The Table
It has been at least a year, and possibly <gulp!> two since I set up a couple of paste-tables and added some scenery, in order to play a game of "Blitzkrieg Commander", set in the deserts of North West Africa.  I think the scenario had the Eighth Army (British, Commonwealth and Allied) attaching the Axis (Germans and Italians) during Operation Crusader.  Their goal was to break through a defensive deployment and get onto the Escarpment.  I think.  It's been a long time since I set it up.  Art?

Don't fret, I'll flatten the fabric

     This is what it looked like originally, and as it looks now, minus papers, books, pens, packets of sweets, letters, notepads and stale crisps.  Of course the drawback in not playing for such an age is that I'll have to re-read the rules from scratch <sigh>.  I can't risk not playing it now, as that would mean forfeiting my Wargaming Licence.

No, It's Not A Packet Of Dead Slugs
Pretty close, however.  This is the grim interior of a packet of Everton Mints that have been lying on top of the wargaming tables for aeons.

     All the remaining sweets are now stuck to the packet thanks to deliquescing over time; just to test it I turned it upside down and shook, and nothing was dislodged.
     "But Conrad!" I can hear you retch.  "Such miserly retention of aged sweets is surely not necessary?"
     Not strictly speaking, no.  I am curious as to how long they remain edible after their BBE date, which happens to be "Aug 2015", and the ones I've managed to peel off the packet and unwrap have all been quite alright.  As for the rest, I'll get back to you on that.

French Dream-Pop And Franz Kafka
A bit tenuous, this one.  However, I worked it out, so you're going to get it.
     Okay, the French band M83 have a song called "Recontre Moi Une Histoire", or "Tell me a story", which explains how thoroughly amusing it is to turn into a frog.  Your mileage may vary, yet they insist how funny the process is.

M80.  Close enough

     Do you see where you went wrong, Mister Kafka?  If Gregor Samsa** had turned/metamorphosed into a frog you'd have a comedy classic, instead of a bleak existentialist allegory.

Ho ho  hopping along, eh?

Q. What's Wrong With This Photo?
Go on, guess.

     Absolutely nothing***!  Here is a responsible group of Star Wars re-enactors taking care to carry their replica firearms in hand luggage, thus avoiding any possible misunderstandings with members of the public, or, more to the point, the police.  BOOJUM! salutes your civic and common sense, lady and gentlemen.



* Loud hoorays!
** The protagonist in "Metamorphosis". Which is by Franz Kafka. I didn't just choose him at random you know.
*** What, were you expecting a bit of cheap mockery?