A Think About Drink

There Will Be Blood Beer
Right here.  Usually Wonder Wifey tuts disapprovingly when Conrad necks his ninth can of Carlsberg Special Brew, crushes the empty can against his skull, then heads it into the bin whilst belching "Rule Britannia" with farts for punctuation.  
     Usually.  
     For the past week, however, he has been sternly rejecting all blandishments to imbibe Caramel Vodka, in any amount whatsoever - sober for April, remember? - until 6 p.m. today, when the sober stops and the revels begin.
     In fact, WW not being known for either patience or the ability to keep to a timetable with Conrad's Teutonic precision, I got a sample of this particular drink all of 5 minutes early, and it really is jolly nice, slipping down with nary a trace of bite or aftertaste, a little like drinking liquid toffee.  Which, considering it's 20% proof, ought to give one pause for thought.
     It can now be portrayed against the array of bottles and cans that your humble scribe has amassed over the past four weeks - Art?

     This evening's first course, so to speak.  There are other bottles - Art?

Et tu?

     Hopefully those bottles of pop in the background prove that Conrad is not going to indulge wildly in an alcohol-based diet from now on.  There is also the procurement of a new packet of EBT - English Breakfast Tea - to celebrate, as Conrad - that Teutonic precision I mentioned earlier - likes to drink Breakfast Tea at Breakfast.  Assam would do at a pinch, if I had to make do.  Art?

The cup that cheers and not inebriates.

     I realise that this tea-making is probably a mystery to the younger readers amongst you and may in future devote a photo-essay to "Conrad Makes A Pot Of Tea", as hopefully this will dissuade the police from raiding the Mansion under the impression that Conrad does Pot A Lot.
     Right, Intro over, on with the motley!

The Metro Lives Down To It's Reputation
As I hope you are aware, I am off to the "Sounds From The Other City" event tomorrow, this being a multiplicity of musical events put on around the Chapel Street area of Salford from mid-afternoon.  I see Ex-Easter Island Heads are performing at Salford Cathedral and would like to go, except that the website states "sundown" instead of a time, which implies late evening, by which time the buses back to Royton are erratic and occasional.

The Heads at work.  Your humble scribe just out of shot to the left

  Liam from work - no, not that Liam, this Liam - is going, and mate Ian is performing in a band called "Grotbags" who appear to have been created purely for the event.  Ba Duncle is co-hosting what seems to be televised performances, which will be an improvement on their venue last year - dank underground arches beneath the railway.

Exactly like this

     "But Conrad!" I hear you call.  "What has this to do with the daily free newspaper?"
     Apart from commenting that you get what you pay for (in an acid tone) Conrad explains: absolutely nothing.  Under the "Weekend" section they mention events going on elsewhere, the usual sort of stuff: combat tiddlywinks, extreme Subbuteo, speed-eating curried whelks - no mention AT ALL of SFTOC.
     Bah!  I feel a bit of destructive rage a-coming on.

Talking Of Which -
Conrad's mind, as has been explained often enough, operates in an obscure fashion that not even he or Oscar (his memory, or imagination, or both*) can explain.
     So, why did the phrase "I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds" pop into his mind earlier this week?
     No, it doesn't apply to Conrad (camouflaged alien spy that he is) as he wants your world's population intact and alive, so they can be used as mind-controlled slaves.  Apart, that is, from those of you who have been reading BOOJUM! as this earns a reprieve.
     It is - sorry, the quote, do keep up! - it is a quote from classical Indian literature, the "Bhagavad Gita" scripture, said by Robert Oppenheimer upon witnessing the "Trinity" nuclear test-shot. Given Conrad's unhealthy interest in atomic foofoodillies, it's not surprising he read this in the past and it's now popped up again.
    Thank you Oscar.

Bob Opp, probably a little conflicted after creating the atomic b - foofoodilly.

     I should explain that "Trinity" was the first nuclear explosion** carried out (IIRC) at Alamogordo, where "Gadget" was detonated.  

Here's An Epigram Your Boss Won't Like
Whilst finishing "The Grenadier Guards In The Great War", I came across the following, which pretty much sums up Conrad's attitude to paid employment:  "The Army was no longer a profession, where a man could reduce to a science the practice of doing the least possible amount of work without getting into trouble."
     Inspiring words, inspiring words.  What they inspire is open to question, mind ...

An Idler

* Or, worryingly, neither.
** The first nuclear explosion ever, that is.