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Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Domestic Diversions

Yes, You Are Right To Quiver!
Quiver in FEAR!!!
     Actually I'm lying, there's no fear here, merely a dull ache as you encounter the unspeakably inane day-to-day existence of a man sitting a dog.  Although we will throw in the Loch Ness Monster, the end of the world and medieval musical instruments.  
     BOOJUM! - nothing if not eclectic.
     Okay, first of all let me establish the scene at Camp Conrad:
Note the presence of books (left), books (centre) and books (right)
     The theme here is pretty obviously books, as I've shifted them into the lounge from my Upstairs Lair since I don't have to accomodate anybody but myself, and Edna, the dog looking hopeful on the windowsill.
     And more of Edna.  Giving her the Short Walk this morning wasn't the chore it was yesterday, as today we have sunshine and little to no winds.  Art?

     Since you can see a shadow there, I can prove that we had sunshine.  Back at the house Edna took up a commanding position on the Windowsill, just in case Wonder Wifey cut short her holiday*.
Waiting to see who gets off at the bus stop ...
     She then moved to the floor, craftily changing position to keep up with the sunlight.  Art?
"Yes, Wicked and Neglectful human?"
     Mid-afternoon brings the Long Walk, this time up Thornham Lane, which is less a lane than a series of potholes arranged in a linear fashion.  There were no less than six vehicles travelling up and down it in the 20 minutes we were there, utter gridlock!
Up the back alley to Thornham Lane
     Once on the lane it was a constant effort to keep Edna out of the mud or the puddles, or from diving under stiles or gates:
"Only a short leap to freedom!" (and a giant puddle)
     Once at the terminus, she varied between ranging far away -
Far away -
     Or hanging around my coat pocket where the treats were -
"Oooh look flowers, and grass, and leaves and - treats?"
     When we got home after what was a 2 mile walk, she reposed on the arm of our settee, not condescending to lie on Conrad**.
Pooped.
"Dr Strangelove"
I did mention the end of the world, didn't I?  So this has to be an entry.  Now, if I can post a photographic screenshot of Major Kong riding down one of the 20 megaton hydrogen bombs that he's managed to release -
Note the target
     This is one of the examples of accuracy that you come to expect from Stan***.  Although - I shall come back to that quibble.  Okay, this is the Russian ICBM complex at Laputa.  Those gantries are launch positions for the Russian ICBM's, standing erect in the open because in 1964 they didn't have them under cover in underground missile silos.
     Now, allow me to demonstrate another relic of the Cold War - 
The eponymous Doctor
     "I say, Conrad!" I can hear you gasp.  "Doctor Strangelove is holding a ninja-throwing disk, designed to inflict silent death upon their enemies!"
     IDIOTS!  Go read my post about the creature swimming in the River Thames^.
     It's actually a circular slide-rule, which I suppose will need a little more explanation.  Art?  Explanation, please:
Image result for circular slide rule
Lo
     You would move the different ratios against each other to work out calculations.  Rendered extinct and then some by the pocket calculator, Conrad is one of the last generation to ever use these.
     Wait, there's more -
Corpsing
     Check out Peter Bull, playing the Russian Ambassador, plainly trying to keep his laughter in check as Peter Sellers improvises madly as the mad doctor.

The Loch Ness Monster
No, not the real one.  We all know what that is after that historical re-enactment documentary "Doctor Who" showed it up for what it is. No, this is one that was built for a film.  Art?
Hmmm.  Terrifying?  Not really.
     "The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes" being the film.  Okay, who did the special effects for "Doctor Strangelove"?  Wally Veevers.  Who built the Loch Ness Monster for TPLOSH?  Art?
Wally Veevers!
     Okay, it's not today's coincidence.  Still, a weird little connection is still a weird little connection, isn't it?

Upom My Soul
This is a bit of a tangent to a tangent, but in "Inherent Vice" one of the (tangential) characters is hot stuff with both shawm and pommer.
Image result for pommer
A Pommer
Not to be confused with the dog -
Image result for pomeranian
O savage fiend!

*  NO chance!
** Who is, after all, both neglectful AND wicked.
*** Stanley Kubrik.  We're mates.  I can call him that.
^  Hint: it's a fish

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