Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting a long screed on the troubles of that particular industry here in the UK? Then you haven't been paying attention, have you? We here at BOOJUM! remain Safe For Work; the only time you ever see anything remotely rude is on a statue. Nor do we cover that modern triumvirate of trigger subjects: Politics, Religion and Current Affairs, so ta-ta to Tata.
"Hang on, Conrad, weren't you supposed to be over in Sheffield in the quaintly-named village of Dungworth, playing in a wargaming event? Crisis Point?"
You have a point. Yes, that's what I was supposed to do, except fate, engine revolutions per minute and sharp gradients all intervened.
Okay, consider that to get to Sheffield your humble scribe needs to travel down the motorway and over the Snake Pass, named for being extremely sinuous and long. Art?
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| Just like this |
Not more than a mile into the Glossop end, the car engine was racing at up to 40,000 RPM, we weren't moving at more than 25 miles per hour and this was on a relatively gentle incline. Conrad killed the motor, got out and almost wept with technical terror, pausing briefly to beat out the flames rising thirty feet into the air*.
AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! BLOWN UP ON THE SNAKE PASS!!! I raved, which is when a bit of that steel in may backbone would have gone down well. I mused that, if the car survived a three-point turn, I might be able to freewheel back into Glossop thanks to the gradient and inertia. Bless the Murdermobile, it managed well under power and kept going on the flat, allowing your modest artisan to slink home to Royton. By this time his spirits had recovered enough for his backbone to exhibit a touch of - well, steel would be over-stating it - aluminium, perhaps?
Then he remembered this:
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| Known as <ahem> a butcher's steel. |
So, no Crisis Point V. On the plus side, lots of anecdote for the blog, eh**?
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| The Snake Pass in winter, similar to the first time I drove over it |
"Star Wars: The Force Awakens"
You may have heard of this renaissance of the franchise, which I saw recently and enjoyed, too: a blast from start to finish. Well-judged, well-paced and well done. I took notes, so there may be a follow-up to this post. Anyway, I knew John Boyega, who plays FN2187/Finn, was going on to bigger and better things after seeing him in "Attack The Block", because I had to keep reminding myself "No, Conrad! he is not a criminal thieving chav! That's acting!"
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| Young John. Don't forget, I predicted success first. Me. |
But I digress***. I referred myself over to the IMDB Forum for SWTFA, just out of curiosity and My Goodness! What a lot of haters, who don't like the film one little bit. There was probably a thread about "How dare Rey be a girl" but I didn't hang around long enough to see if it was true.
There was one thread gloating about how the critical rating was down to 8.3 (IMDB scores decimally up to 10.00), as if they'd confused 8.3 with 3.8. Go look at the 2015 "Fantastic Four" if you want to see a critically roasted film; sorry, haters, 8.3 is a really high score.
Then there's the box office. This film cost an estimated $200 million to make, which is certainly a tidy chunk of change, although you can see it all up on screen. How much has it made back? $2 billion. Sorry, haters, also impressively high.
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| "That's outREYgous!" |
I Shall Have To Find Another Creature Metaphor
Normally I use the patented BOOJUM! Coincidence Hydra to illustrate the latest event in the Universe trying to tell me something in a cryptic and curious manner, as the odd and unusual worries me^.
However, today we have an interesting and, dare I say it, pleasant coincidence. Art?
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| Holy Trinity Parish Church |
I no longer bother to criticise the Foobs and the Twits as I feared it was getting boring. This time I'd have to compliment them instead, as I do like organ music - WHICH IS NOT CREEPY! - and here is some. Not only that, Shaw is next town over from Royton (where I live) and I've driven past this church many a time.
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| Coincidence Hydra: Warm and Fuzzy model? |
A Little In-Joke
Back to "Person Of Interest". Reese, in his false identity as a police officer, has been told off by his captain about shooting people. Of course, since John is a good guy, he only shoots them in the knee, to immobilise them. Art?
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| No, no, without a gun. He's a good guy. Come on, Art! |
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| Well - giving off a certain "Don't mess with me" vibe, but at least no gun. |
Reese tends to be laconic, and quietly-spoken, kinda like Poncho Guy in those Dollar westerns^^. He's shot four people in the knees that week.
This is mirrored by Root, you know, the dangerously unstable sociopath^^^, who shoots four Latvian gangsters. But only in the knees, as she too is on the side of good.
Reese's captain wonders if there's any connection ...
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| The wages of sin: punctured patellae |
* A slight exaggeration. Okay, complete fiction - for dramatic purposes only.
** The two don't balance out, just so we're clear.
*** Only a little, perhaps, still a bad habit
^ Unless it's me
^^ Ten Brownie points if you know what I mean.
^^^ Admit it, you like her already!
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