The Weather Is Woeful. WOEFUL!

To Those Of You Not English -
I apologise for once again banging on about the English summer weather.  As you surely know by now, the weather here in the UK is an ever-ready stand-by to break the ice between parties who meet on the street, tram, bus or HOTOL shuttle*.  This afternoon I looked out of the windows on the seventh floor of the Electric Goldfish Bowl, at a vista you would have believed was mid-October.  Overcast, weeping grey skies, rain-slicked surfaces everywhere, and a day so dark the traffic all had their lights on.
     However, it is horribly humid and warm, like having a blanket of breath wrapped all around you.  I did have two pints of ice to guzzle during the day and needed every ounce**.
     All in all a very demotivating Monday.

"Gravity's Rainbow" By Thomas Pynchon
Nearly 300 pages in, and we are into the third part, where Tyrone Slothrop, the closest thing this novel has to a hero, is finding out one or two peculiar coincidences about his past.
     And as ever, Tom continues to use words I've never encountered before.  And I read a lot, all the time.  Today it was the word "Rachitic", which means to suffer from soft bones, a.k.a. Osteomalacia.
     That got me wondering about "Mephitic", which HP Lovecraft was always using.  That means "Foul and obnoxious smelling". 
     Then there's <Mister Hand intervenes with a bamboo skewer and a reminder to stay on topic>
     - that hurt!
     Okay, Tom also mentions "Hugo Stinnes", whom Conrad has never heard of, and had to go check up on to make sure Tom's not being creative -
     And he wasn't!  There really was a Hugo Stinnes, who seems to have easily merited the title King B*st*rd of Capitalism, and who pitched post-war Germany into inflationary disaster.  Whilst he did very nicely out of it, thanks.
      However, if you find this galling, his end came rather quickly.  During a gall*** bladder operation in 1924 he did the decent thing and died, and his empire did the same thing also.  Sic transit gloria mundi, eh?

Superheroes With Their Pants Firmly In The Right Place
I did write out a brief note in the journal about Hawkgirl, dismissing her because her descriptions of what to avoid would merely have echoed those of Angel, from the X-Men.  Although, since she is a rather shapely and attractive girl - there's a clue in her name - she might be bothered by feather-fetishists.  Not for long.  She doesn't take lip, that girl.
     Then I picked on Reed Richards, Mister Fantastic of the Fantastic Four, who you might describe as Plasticman with the mind of Einstein.
     And - I couldn't come up with a single silly, sordid thing about him.  None.  It's not that I'm not creative, it's just that Reed would foresee the problems inherent with his ability of being stretchy, and pre-empt them.  He's a clever bloke.

Reed, simultaneously being stretchy, scientific and shooty

     The Human Torch, however 
     Ah, but we shall leave him for another day and allow Reed to bask in the unique position of being SWTPFITRP.

Late Breaking News: Makeshift Window Screen Redeems Itself
In "60 Seconds" the fish and chip wrapper - okay, okay, The Metro - features Michael Pena, that most excellent Latino actor who you will have seen in "Shooter", "Fury", "Battle Los Angeles", and "End of Watch".  You have seen those films, haven't you?  If not, there is Netflix, and I will be doing a pop quiz next week.  The winners get to live.

Mike.

     Now, you can edit a phone interview, as I imagine these 60 Second slots are composed, but Mike^ comes across as a jobbing actor, drily self-depracatory and with both feet very firmly fixed to the floor.
     Remember - pop quiz next week.

Oho, And Also Aha
Okay, the fish and chip wrapper can hang it's head in shame - in Conrad's opinion it's default body posture - at what the wrap around bribe-print is displaying:

"Only a one year contract"  Oh yeah?

    Notice how they trumpet the ONE YEAR CONTRACT bit, but oh my goodness, how much small print is there at the bottom?

The Pineapple!  Hand-grenade Of HORROR!
It is no secret that Conrad is violently opposed to the Pineapple.  I probably shouldn't be admitting this, as it might be The Secret Weakness That Saves Humanity when my alien comrades arrive in their starship invasion fleet.

Not so sweet and juicy now!

     Then again, probably not, it's just Conrad being mardy.

To Finish, A Little Randomness
Yes indeedy Ally Sheedy.  
Behold the club:

Positively medieval!

     These unlovely irons were used to belabour hapless German soldiery when trench raids were being carried out.  You would almost certainly be arrested if the police caught you carrying one around in Picadilly Gardens, though you could defend yourself by claiming you thought it was a chocolate biscuit ...

(Ouch)

* Ah - no, that hasn't been invented yet.  Move along, move along ...
** BOOJUM!, defiantly sticking to Imperial measures.
*** See what I did there?
^ I'm allowed to call him that.  To you - Mister Pena.