It's Private Pike - On A Motorbike

Not Sure How Effective That Is -
 - as clickbait.  Here in the UK everybody would immediately recognise the reference to "Dad's Army", and the woefully immature and possibly underage Private Pike, a member of Walmington-on-Sea's Home Guard, which had been earlier known as the "Local Defence Volunteers".
     Allow me to illuminate you.  Private Pike:

Never without a scarf

     Nowadays the actor here, Ian Lavender, looks like a cross between Michael Moorcock and Terry Gilliam:

Still with the scarf!

     Oh.  Yes.  The motorbike.  Well, to be frank, I was lying.  There is no easily recoverable photograph of Ian Lavender on a motorbike*.

On the back of a truck.  Best I could do.

     And here Conrad realises that overseas visitors, and probably a whole lot of home-grown ones, know nothing about the Home Guard.  A theme for another day, I feel.

Eden Underwood
Yes, that picturesque East Sussex large-village-cum-small-town, the one that's all lovey-dovey flowers and cottages on the surface, which Conrad has created out of thin air - well, got in about 900 words on the story today.  At this point Niall, our protagonist, is discovering the hard way why people in The 'Wood don't go out on either Halloween or Walpurgisnacht.  And that they haven't done so for a good couple of centuries.  If you are extra good, or extra bad, I may post a bit of it in BOOJUM! and see what happens.

The Foobs Come Good
If you wish me to translate my jargon, I refer to the idiots who come up with "Suggested Posts" on Facebook.  Portable sawmills, anyone?  Log counting software?  Single Russian women who are apparently - actually modesty and our SFW policy forbids typing what these Russian ladies are in search of.

 You are probably unaware of the background here.  Roger Waters used to be one of the members of Pink Floyd, one of your humble scribe's favourite bands for LO! these thirty years.  Then he went solo, and I find his work there interesting but not as good as the filtered ensemble work of the band.
     So, by the law of averages, the Foobs have got something right.
     Watch them drop the ball tomorrow ...

Superheroes With Their Pants Down
Here I confess I've got nothing to add.  I've gone over the major superheroes that you, gentle reader, will be familiar with principally as they have a film iteration that you may very well have seen.
     From now on, however, Conrad may have to resort to superheroes you are less intimately acquainted with.  There is the Hellboy trope to explore, and mayhap the "Invincible" universe, and 2000 AD, which might yield rich pickings - that you aren't familiar with.  Rest assured, if your humble scribe comes up with a peculiar superhero you might think nobody could possibly have invented - then they did so.

This is Roger the Homunculus, from the Hellboy universe.
Don't ask about the Crotch-Ring

A Little Critical Analysis
We've not had one of these excoriating little lyrical diversions for a while, have we?  In the past Conrad has - rather unfairly - focussed on those songsmiths Simon and Garfunkel**.
     Well, today we focus on practically brand-new out of the wrapper lyrics, because of "The 100".
     I have blogged about this programme in the recent past, and am somewhat suspicious that the scriptwriters have nicked some of my ideas from an old Doctor Who fanfiction written years ago.  Be that as it may, we have a community in orbit who need to get back down to Planet Earth, and whom are having a lot of troubles along the way.
     At the end of Episode 4, Conrad abruptly recognised the song being played***.
     "Dog Buns!  That's Volcano Choir and <went off to dig out song> 'Byegone'."

"Day dead bye-gone"

Yes, yes, a poetic evocation of dusk and nightfall.

"Laying near the lights"

This is rather more obscure.  Traffic lights? Tail lights? Tea candle lights? Northern Lights?

"Of the knights of the northern lodges"

Oh those lights! No, sorry, still no idea what you're talking about.

"There's a border road"

Yes but transverse or parallel?

"No one slip slides or stoppin'"

Your road appears to have significant surface traction issues.

"And the neighbourly, sleepin' in a coffin."

I say!  Listen, this blog is SFW.  Get out of here with your necrophilia!

     I do apologise.  Quick - change the subject!

"The Wicked Humans Are Neglecting Me!"
You can tell when Edna is desperate, as she turns up in the Upstairs Lair.  Normally she does this as part of her Patrol Schedule, to see if any edible bits of flotsam or jetsam have arrived on the floor.

     Tonight it was because she had her Tuggy Toy.  I imagine the folks downstairs are not pandering to her every whim, so she came up here to try and inveigle your's truly into playing.  Sadly not possible given the blogging activity!


* So what.  Sue me.
** Satirised as "Slimey and Garglefunk"
*** I'm a hipster dad, apparently!  More experimental and up-to-date in musical terms than Darling Daughter. This may be good, or bad. Only you can tell!
^ Misha and Grisha, you should be taking notes for your English Comprehension test.