Busy Busy BOOJUM!

In two senses of the word
     Yesterday I had 37 visitors, an unusually high figure, so thank you for dropping by, excepting the people from MI5, who were after my recipe for home-made californium*.  Then today I have baked a loaf, made a Wobbly Apricot Tart and am shortly going to be off downstairs to decant Summer Fruits Ice-Cream from the ice-cream maker.

<you may imagine a small pause here, reader>

Well that's the ice-cream done and dusted.  How's it done I hear you chorus - behold:

That's whipped cream in the mixer, fruit puree and icing sugar in the bowl and a custard mix cooling in a tub in a tin

All being blended in the ice-cream maker

It's rather messy, home-made ice-cream making, and it uses a ton of kit, but the end result is worth it.

The Bread
     Allow me:

This stuff I like is the staff of life.

The secret here is a 2 1/2 pound loaf tin, which is large enough to prevent the dough from spilling over the sides, yet small enough to allow the dough to rise properly.  I also turn the tin every five minutes during the first 15 minutes, which means it rises evenly, and cover it with foil after 20 minutes, so it doesn't burn.

Wobbly Apricot Tart
     A Mary Berry recipe, done during the "Masterclass" boasting follow-up sessions following TGBBO.  Mine was not as picture perfect as Mary's, but I just know that the Beeb would bin any footage of a duff Mary bake and allow her endless new efforts.
     Here is mine:

A tad over-browned on one side and the trimming could have been neater.

Enough of baking!
     I hear you cry.
     Okay.  In order to fool S.H.I.E.L.D. and persuade that not-very-nice Nick Fury that Conrad and BOOJUM! are entirely human, we maintain two cats here in the mansion.  Beej is the one who always looks sombre, and unamused, and it is a rarity to hear him purr.
     Being busy downstairs meant I caught him trying to nudge a box out of our storage shelving in the Non-Dangerous Kitchen.
     'Beej!  Ochi!' I shouted (all cats understand Greek).  He stopped, but only until I was busy rolling out pastry and couldn't interfere.  I heard a scraping noise, a thump and then silence.

Box, Green, One Of, Non-Dangerous Kitchen

The box pictured above had gone, pushed completely off the shelving.  When I looked behind the shelves, the box had fallen down, Beej had prised the lid off and was sitting in a nest of towels.
     The Grumpy Old Men maintain that cats only tolerate humans because, lacking opposable thumbs, they can't open tins of cat food.  I put it to you, gentle reader, that we ought to start getting on better terms with our soon-to-be feline overlords.

So - Tanks?
     Good lord aloft, man!  The threat of a feline takeover is more sinister than either The Zombie Apocalypse or The Rise of Skynet.  Get a grip, we can't waste time posting pictures of tanks.
     On the other hand, we do have:

"5h1t!  Get into third gear quick smart!"

This is the Top Gear episode where the team try to avoid being targeted and hence disintegrated by a Challenger tank.  Jeremy is still with us so either they dodged or the ammo was pretend.

*Californium.  Yes it exists.  Yes it was named after the state.  Yes a californium bullet will stop a tank.