Baker and bibliophile

No It Isn't A Messy Eater
     "Lover of books", I'll have you know.  That's number ten arrived, the last of the second-hand ones ordered this month to replace the cull of Operation Apocalypse, so no more trawling Abebooks until next payday.

"A Rhyme"
     Or so reads the entry for one of today's blog themes.  Conrad has been shockingly lax in not coming up with one, but he can plead extenuating circumstances.  How about one of Hilaire Belloc's, from "The Bad Child's Book of Verse"?

     "The whale that wanders round the pole
     Is not a table fish.
     You cannot bake nor boil him whole,
     Nor serve him in a dish.
     But you may cut his blubber up
     And melt it down for oil,
     And so replace the colza bean,
     A product of the soil.
     These facts should all be taken down
     And ruminated on
     By every boy in Oxford town
     Who want to be a don."

Obviously it was perfectly acceptable in the 1920's to chop whales up to light your dining room.  Greenpeace?  Not present for another 60 years.  Ecology?  Away with your Latin nonsense!  Sustainability?  None of that Bolshie drivel!

You didn't know, but this is the cetacean's equivalent of a two-finger salute

The extenuating Circumstance
     Allow me:

Yeah, it is SpongeBob.  A hero for the ages, I tell you.

Mary Berry's scone recipe amended by Conrad with cherries and raisins.  Although the recipe said "makes 8 - 10" I managed to get 24 of the little buggers out of the dough.  There were noises from interested parties earlier, so I shall need to go and check how many of the 24 now remain.

Work Temperatures
     This has been a sore point in all the offices I've worked in, and my current Unidentified
Friendly Organisation is no different.  Conrad, hailing from a planet in the constellation of Ursa Major, is able to survive temperatures of -30 Degrees Centigrade wearing a tee-shirt, shorts and sandals.  This contrasts wildly with many of his work colleagues, who sit in the office wearing thick coats and complaining that their coffee has frozen solid in the cup.  Come summer I have to go work in the fridge, but at present conditions are quite balmy and pleasant and I don't have to break out the iced drinks until mid-afternoon.
this month.

To you, an icy hell.  To Conrad, a cosy little nook.

So - Tanks?
     No.  Instead we have this:

"Prepare to die, Authority, by my laser - oh hang on I've not been fed yet.  Reprieve."

Another curious life-form present at BOOJUM! mansions.  We've had wolves, the guard hog, the hard hog, monster mutant messenger mice and now we have Felis Mortalis, colloquially known as "Laser-Eyed Cat".  Lethal to burglars, and also makes a good substitute barbecue.

Righto!  Off to count scones!