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Tuesday, 31 March 2026

Demolition, Man

PAY ATTENTION!

Because I am pretty much certain that you need to pay close regards to the punctuation here, which leads elsewhere than you might expect.

     First of all, we are not talking about the Grace Jones song.  O noes.  art!


     Grace pitched herself as a Terminator before they were a thing, alongside her boyfriend Dolph Schwarzenegger it says here.  I suspect a bit of Hollywood hype.

     ANYWAY let us regale the audience with Men who are into Demolition.  Art!

     Pay attention to John Spartan - the 'Demolition Man' of this trope - whom is loitering to starboard here.  In John's future it is wickedly impolite to murder another person, especially if you do not file A300x25/33954 beforehand, and especially if you lack the 225th or 225th or 229th sub-set permission.  Of course - obviously! - the Big Bad behind the scenes is played by a British actor, because we have a lock on Villainy in cinema.  There is also a lasting mystery about exactly what those three sea shells are for in the bathroom, and there are doubtless online forums dedicated to exploring their usage, which is too close to NSFW for BOOJUM! to engage.  Art!

    

         Sandra looking very winsome there.  Hard to credit this film is over 30 years old now.  I forget where the 'Demolition' comes in, but a film universe where part of the punishment for criminals is being taught to knit only gets a thumbs up from me.  Art!


     REAL LIFE INTRUDES!  Conrad is unsure quite what to call this, but since it involves a building collapsing and the Intro is to do with 'Demolition', it's going in here.  Art!


     This is what used to be a corner shop, and apparently three people were injured a bit when it collapsed.  One imagines that it made a lot of noise and any nearby pedestrians or bus passengers hastily scattered, as it's right next to a busy bus stop.  What's not readily visible is that it was next to an empty plot, which Wonder Wifey informed had been another of the owner's properties and which also collapsed ten years ago.  Maintenance and upkeep not a priority, 'twould seem. 

     You may be wondering why Conrad is putting up such a prosaic picture set akin to 'Small earthquake in Chile, not many dead.'  Art!


     I went in there once.  That's not why these illos are up, though.  Art!


     This is the bus stop Conrad used to infest when getting off the tram at King Street and waiting for the 409.  Which frequently failed to turn up, another story in itself.

     ANYWAY AGAIN we finally get to the meat of the matter, being more guff about buildings being demolished, courtesy of 'Be Amazed' over on Youtube.  This clip is about a bit of DIY or 'Destroy It Yoursel', carried out by enthusiastic amateurs with more pluck than brains and also lacking both dynamite and demolition experience.  A dangerous combination.  Art!


     This is where the clip starts, and you can tell that there has been a modicum of planning here, as there's an excavator - what South Canadians call a 'backhoe' I believe? - and a bulldozer already present.  Note the car, which has the engine running but no driver, since - Art!


     It's deliberately expendable.  Still no driver.  One assumes they rendered it fit to only drive in one direction, that being straight forward, which is a major assumption since we never get to see inside.  Art!


     You can see where this is going, literally and metaphorically.  Note that the target silo has had part of it's base demolished already, which the DIY team hoped would cause it to fall in that direction.  'Hoped'.  Art!


     Car 0 Silo 1.  That silo looks a pretttty solid ferro-concrete structure, nor did the car get up much speed before impact.  Should have filled it with bricks or engine blocks.  Art!


     The ship gets real.  Having possibly inflicted untold damage on the still-erect structure, they send Kyle in to get handy with a sledgehammer.  Note that there are no stays or guys imposing tension on the silo, once again that word 'Hope' is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.  Art!


     A false alarm.  The silo didn't collapse so Kyle, displaying splendid bravery and idiocy simultaneously, went back to hit it some more.  Art!


     The silo starts to topple, except towards Kyle.  Who displays a quick turn of speed when it's needed.  Art!


     False alarm #2.  The silo, tilting like a certain Italian tourist attraction, stubbornly refused to topple.  So - Art!


     They could have saved a car and Kyle's underwear if they'd done this in the first place.  Art!

Car 0 Silo 2


Human Shish Kebab Risk Factor

Don't worry, that apparently random title will make sense in a minute.  More not-so-gentle shoeing of the Big Orange Oaf Himself, prompted by an item on my news feed.  Art!


     Conrad thinks DJ Tango is dangerous enough with a club in his hands as he cheats on the golf course and being his caddy probably carries hazard pay.  Also - Art!

Donold gets ready to cut his Bribe Plane cake*

     Yes, this is King Piggy doing that palsied stagger he fondly imagines is a 'dance', whilst waving around a sword.  A sword.  Who on earth thought it a good idea to give him a lethal weapon and encourage him to brandish it?  I bet those officers were silently sweating.


Talking Of Untrammelled Greed

Here's a concise retribution from Youtube's 'rSlash' channel.  Elderly retired woman, an ex-nurse who never married and didn't have children had a heart attack and got sent to hospital.  She got there in time and recovered.  Art!


     While she was there, her niece and nephew raided her apartment and stole all her silverware and her antique furniture, thinking she was going to die.

     She rewrote her will.  Several years later she died, and niece and nephew got one dollar each as per the revised will.  The rest of her estate - all nine million dollars of it - went to her church.  Suck that and see, children.


"Cassino '44" By James Holland

Just to keep you informed on my progress so far, now up to Page 200 of about 600.  Art!


     It's almost a sequel to his other work in Italy, "The Storm Of War", which ends at the start of 1944, whereas this carries on into 1944.  As I said, now one-third of the way in, and we're only just getting to the start of the battles for Monte Cassino, so the title is something of a misnomer.

     One thing I have noticed is Ol' Jim's determination to set the record straight about the South Canadian General Mark Clark, whom has been much traduced by previous military historians.  The disastrous crossing attempt of the Rapido is laid at the feet of the general responsible, General Fred Walker, with Ol' Jim providing a scathing commentary on how he failed to plan or organise it properly.

     As with his books, there's an excellent selection of maps going over the various battlefields, considerably more detailed than the usual three dots and a squiggle.


Get Thee Behind Me, Clickbaiter!

You should know by now that Conrad's attitude to clickbaitery is that it's perfectly fine for him to do, but that anybody else doing it ought to be condemned to one of the lower circles of Hades.  Thus - Art!

Hades, I tell you

     Art!

     There you go, and you're welcome.


Finally -

Going out with a Biercism.

"Family, n: A body of individuals living in one household, consisting of male, female, young, servants, dog, cat, dicky-bird, cockroaches, bedbugs and fleas - the 'unit' of modern civilised society."



*  And anyone who gets too close, he doesn't like sharing.

Sunday, 29 March 2026

Bust Luga

Vatniks Beware!

Also Krembots, tankies and pro-Putinpot trolls, because this Intro is not for you.  Here I will be narrating about the Ukrainian strikes into the Ruffian deep rear, which sounds NSFW but is eminently SFW, if a bit apocalyptic.

     To sum up, Ukraine is now conducting drone warfare on a scale that Ruffia simply could not have appreciated two years ago.  Heck, even one year ago.  Rather than go the expensive and restricted airframe asset route, the 'Crests' - the non-PC Ruffian nickname for them - have instead gone for an enormous number of cheap drones.  Art!


     This map shows Ukrainian strikes, blue for cruise missiles, red for drones.  Having scaled-up production in 2025, they are now attacking with hundreds of drones on a nightly basis, swamping Ruffian air defences - if any still exist - and allowing the cruise missiles an easy pass.  I am going to concentrate on the Ruffian Baltic region, which is 1,000 kilometres from Ukraine and may have thought that this distance meant they were immune from attack.

     O Noes.  O Noes indeed.  Art!

Map courtesy Dr. Smart

     The Ruffian oil export port of Primorsk has been hit and devastated, although fire crews have extinguished the fires there.  Here's what it looked like four days ago.  Art!


     Ooops.  

     As to the 'Vyborg' image that Doctor Smart put up, that's a Ruffian port very close to the Finnish border, and - you may be ahead of me here - Ukrainian drones or missiles came to say hello.'  Art!


     As you can see, the 'Purga' is now capsized and has caused damage to the - ahem - 'research vessel' next to it, which is now also listing.  The last time this happened, the orcs just abandoned the vessel.

     Back to Kirishi, the refinery hub.  This was the 5th largest Ruffian refinery, sorting through 350,000 barrels per day, which has now been reduced to nil.  It gets worse: Kirishi was the dedicated refinery producing  jet fuel for the Ruffian air force and naval units in the Baltic and north, meaning that they now don't have this applied luxury any more.  Oooops.  Art!


     We now come to Ust Luga, the fourth location that the 'tufties' have hit.  This facility has been hit so hard the fires and smoke can be seen from inside Estonia - 50 kilometres away.  Art!

Possible future tourist attraction

     This port used to be  - very definitely past tense - one of Ruffia's largest export ports, and Ukraine had hit it intermittently.  Now, however - O that word again! - they have hit it four times over the past three days, giving it an absolute MALLETING, to use a precise technical term.  Ust Luga exported up to 370,000 tons of goods per day, but is now down to 0%.  Adding to the total of a 40% reduction in oil exports from Mordorvia.  Art!


     Three shadow fleet tankers were also hit, and a condensate processing plant was destroyed - allow me to input a technical description -

"complex for fractionation and transshipment of stable gas condensate"

     It's all ash and clinker now.  From Liquid Natural Gas to Lots Not Going.

     From the perspective of a foreign observer, it's been hard to keep up with the strikes on Bust Luga, as they happen so frequently, and the Ruffians seem to have given up on interception or prevention, just allowing the port to burn down with a fatalistic shrug of the shoulders.  Art!


     This was the port before the latest Ukrainian strikes, and you can see that there is still stuff left to burn.  The 'khokhols' are now hitting Ruffia with hundreds of drones per night, and this attack is calculated at using 400 drones, for a combined cost of $20 million, causing a loss of at least $12 million for each day when unloading does not take place.  After 4 days we're already talking $48 million in losses.

     There is a counterpart to this.  The Ruffian murder campaign using drones and missiles to kill Ukrainian civilians, which they have been waging since 2022.  If in doubt, Death.  If in doubt, Death.  If in doubt, Death.  If in doubt, Death. If in doubt, Death -

     Because what they have tried DOES NOT WORK, and hasn't for the past 5 years now.  Whilst Mordorvia takes an Ice Age to realise what does not work and corrects it, Ukraine has had to adapt to circumstances quick smart.  Art!

     393 drones, 18 X-101 missiles, 12 Iskanders and 2 X-59s launched.    

     Which Ukraine countered with a 92% interception rate, shooting down 23 missile and 365 drones, costing the orcs $110 million, yah booh sucks, blowing this much in a single night for a country that cannot afford indoor plumbing for 20% of it's population.  With Ust Luga now being Bust Luga that arithmetic is not going to get better.  



Egad!  Fifty Years Gone!

Conrad can remember when a Radio One DJ played an extract from Pink Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here' on daytime radio, which track reached out of the speakers and smacked me across the chops, because it was utterly unlike anything I'd heard on daytime radio up to that point.  Art!


     The DJ responsible, Paul Burnett, who also got on famously with John Peel, as they had both been in the military (not by choice).

     I have now seen images of the 'Wish You Were Here' tour, being quite psychedelic.  Art!


     I am surprised and horrified to realise that this tour was over 50 years ago, when I was reading 'The Towers Of Toron' for the first time.  Sick transit glory Monday or something.


Begging The Question

Let us now pay attention to Smeggy Heggy, the Secretary Of Special Combat Operations Who Dare Not Speak It's Name, a bit of a wuss if you ask me.  Art!


     Let me scotch any litigious nicknames you may be creating as of now, the one he has been dubbed with is a lot more intellectual than either you or him.

     "Dumb McNamara"

     This one also goes back 50 years, to the Vietnam Unpleasantness, where Robert McNamara was an extremely influential Secretary of Defence during that war - sorry, 'Special combat operation'.  He possessed more intellect in the toenail of his left foot than Smeggy has in his entire body, hence the insulting nickname for Heggy today.  What will happen to Extremely Dumb McNamara?  We shall have to wait and see.  The auspices are not good.


Can I?

There was talk at The Mansion recently of 'Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die' as recommended by Darling Daughter and Quiet Tom, which Your Humble Scribe has heard of yet not seen.  Art!


     Hmmmm looks a bit Terry Gilliam to me.  When asked to validate against another cinematic entry, the judgement was for 'Everything Everywhere All At Once' which I Dog Buns! loved but couldn't get a DVD of at the time.  Now, years later, just not 50 years later, can I possibly get a DVD of EEAAO, and then watch GLHFDD?  Battle of the acronyms ensues.


The Biter Bit

One can only wonder at the thought processes going on within the giant tangerine carcass that results in this.  Art!


     In case you are unaware, RFKocaine-snorting-off-toilet-seat has been telling ludicrous tales of BOOH mapping out the Middle East with a Sharpie, then annotating the results with troop totals in each of the adjoining countries, as if he was intelligent or something.  This is so bizarre and problematic that King Piggy, who loves having himself lauded to the echo, is now bothered about it.  



Atenție Cumpărătorilor!

Which Is, Of Course, Romanian
For 'Attention Shoppers!' for no other reason than it popped into my head.  Which, as I like to confirm, is akin to a skip three miles to each side, full to the brim.  Art!


     That's the overspill skip in case you were wondering.  Also, the Italian for 'Attention Shoppers' is '
Attenzione, clienti' in case you were wondering and even if you weren't.
     So!  Time to lay out the links for today's blog.

2025

2024

2023

2022

2021

2020

2019

2018

2017

2016

2015

2014










Revenge Is A Dish Best Served At Minus 275 Degrees

That's Absolute Zero

Or Nil Degrees Kelvin, which, unlike the Centigrade scale, begins at absolute zero.  Which is my laboured way of saying 'Very cold indeed.'

     For Lo!  We are here to recount the Revenge portion of 'The Liar, The WITCH And The Fraud Code', which is less Pro Revenge and more Nuclear Revenge.  Art!


     I shall recap.  We have WITCH, Woman Into Thorough & Complete Hammering, the owner of a business who has mole DNA in her genes, so thorough is her ability at digging things up.  She doesn't go scorched earth as much as salting, scorching and mining it.  Then there's DEAN, Duplicitious, Execrable And Nasty, who by this point in the tale is mis-managing his business services company, that had been retained by WITCH.  Also, CREEP, Charlie, REprehensible Exaggerating Plonker, who lied to all about his extensive business background experience, which actually consisted of a long list of crimes.  He and DEAN became inseparable, perpetually chasing get-rich-quick schemes.  Art!


     The supporting cast includes the shady business owner Frances, who wanted to retain DEAN's business for content creation, paying $2,000 per week for 6 months, and The Restaurant, the location where DEAN and CREEP always hung out to plot, plan and get legless.  

     When we left off, DEAN had just fired WITCH's niece, Emma, because WITCH had cancelled all services she was retaining them for, not least because her business had been saddled with $8,000 worth of fraudulent, inoperative software (supplied by Frances via CREEP).  DEAN had other clients, but WITCH's account must have been a real cash cow for him to retaliate in true bottomhole fashion.  Art!


     WITCH and her hubbo proceeded to put the Pro into Revenge, by hiring a  lawyer for Emma and suing DEAN for sexual harassment, amongst other things.  Emma won her suit and DEAN was forced to pay her $15,000 in salary compensation and damages, as well as other fines.  Nor was that all.  WITCH - living up to the 'Thorough' - got in touch with other fired female dx-employees of DEAN and encouraged them to sue as well.  One of them did so, and won their suit as well; we're not told about the dollar amount in settlement but can assume another $15,000 in combined salary and damages.  

     The legal assault against DEAN continued.  Art!


     In a separate suit, WITCH took him to court over the illegal and ineffective software, winning it and getting a refund, which makes him at least $40,000 in the red, not counting fines.  

     Plus he was fined for data protection breaches, since CREEP was not a business partner, nor did he have any official standing, and should NOT have been allowed anywhere near sensitive client information.  'It was all CREEP's fault' did not work in his defence as WITCH's lawyer pointed out, since her contract was with DEAN and him alone.  Guessing at $60,000 in the red at this point?

      


     O boy did it ever.  Remember that bit about 'Complete Hammering'?  Well, WITCH contacted DEAN's other business clients, informing them that she could no longer recommend him and citing her own lawsuit as evidence.  Many stopped using his services and some take legal action to boot; we're not told the outcome of these so they may not have succeeded, but DEAN would still be out of pocket for his attorney's fees.  $65,000 in the red?

     The courts, sniffing both blood and malfeasance, open another case against DEAN for fraud and theft, getting his business closed permanently and a forfeiture notice issued.  This latter means that all his assets were seized, with NO compensation, because he'd been operating illegally.  His wife divorces him.  He is sentenced to probation, meaning as a first-time offender he stays out of prison.  On certain conditions.  Art!


     WITCH knows DEAN's car is going to be repossessed, which he avoids by not parking it at home any longer, so she thoughtfully informs the repo firm of when and where he can be found - at The Restaurant.  His car is towed.  

     On a side note, Frances is arrested by the FBI, independently of WITCH.  CREEP vanished.  With no income, the bank forecloses on DEAN's house after he cannot pay the mortgage any longer.  He then boasts on Facebook of landing a gig as a college professor.  WITCH, ever cognisant of propriety, informs the college that DEAN is not a professor and never even finished college himself.  The gig vanishes overnight.

     DEAN ended up illegally occupying an empty office building next to his old business premises, so WITCH - you know, propriety again - notified a local Facebook group protesting any increase in business properties, who held a demonstration, which in turn attracted the police.  They arrested DEAN for trespass and theft.  Getting arrested breached the terms of his probation and he went  to jail.  Art!


     CREEP stayed silent for several years, possibly hoping that WITCH would forget all about him.  

     She did not.  Although his own Facebook posts did not reveal his location, WITCH found his aunt's pages a font of information.

     For one thing, CREEP no longer had any legs, thanks to so many decades of getting metaphorically legless, leading to their amputation.  He had also sired a child, then skipped out on the mother to avoid having to pay child support.  WITCH - all that propriety! - passed on his exact address details to the mother and CPS.  She also notified the courts of his location, because the arrest warrant on CREEP from 8 years previously was still valid.  He got arrested, and she was in court to see him sentenced to 36 years in prison, by a judge who was utterly fed up with the criminal in front of him.

     CREEP was 4 years into his sentence when he died, perhaps from the sheer hopelessness of his position, where he was going to die in prison anyway with a sentence that long.

     There you go, nearly a thousand words on a single Intro, meaning about 1,600 total, which is why this tale came in two parts.  Now for more pictures and less text.


King Piggy Gone Biggie

Yes, another unflattering, in fact frankly hideous, photograph of the Saggy Senile Sepia Sackbut for you.  Art!


     Harvested from Twitter, and I generously thanked the poster for putting up a new and awful picture of Donold.  Don't forget, this is him after a good two hours in make up and hair wrangling.  Art!


     That's what Melania has to put up with.  Sorry if you can't unsee it.


SHOOT THAT SUB-EDITOR!

Sometimes I take a break from being a grammar Nazi and become a facts Nazi, as in this case.  Art!


     One presumes that the tank to port is defending the Baltics, which would be difficult since it's a Ruffian T-34/85, which models have been obsolete since the Fifties.  The tanks to starboard, presumably Ruffian, look to be a Leopard 1, a West German model long obsolete that the Ruffians don't have, and two Jagdtigers, Teuton tank destroyers of Second Unpleasantness vintage that never made it beyond 1945, unless in museums.

     Bah!


Ouch

I've not made much comment on the ongoing 'Special Combat Operation' in Iran, only observing that King Piggy has created one hell of a mess and is now looking to throw Smeggy Heggy under the bus and blame him and Joe Biden for everything.  I wonder what kompromat Mossad has on him?

     ANYWAY the Ruffians have been supplying Iran with intel, which Fat Caligula is trying to ignore at all costs due to the kompromat the FSB has on him.  Talking of 'costs' - Art!


E-3G 'Sentry' not doing a very good job

     That's a $500 million aircraft destroyed, either by a ballistic missile costing 1% of that total, or a drone costing 1/1000th of the total, or 0.001%.  The airframe is no longer in production and the replacement is years away, so very much an Ooops moment.  Watch Smeggy pretend that this is all according to plan.


Finally -

A apt Biercism to end with.

"Flag,n: A coloured rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships.  It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees on vacant lots in London 'Rubbish may be shot here'"