Yes, Another Torrid Tale Of Corporate Cretinocracy
This tale is related by Peripheral Employed Narrator, hereafter PEN, who worked in a factory he coyly refuses to name, as is usual with these tales of South Canadian idiots in management positions, because - litigation. Initially, things were peachy, as the business was run by the original owner, who had been there for decades. Art!
'Twas a fair-sized business, too, numbering about 250 workers, running in three shifts 24/7. One of the most appreciated perks was time off for those who had been there in excess of 20 years: 8 weeks paid time off and 2 weeks personal time. If true, this is remarkably tolerant of the employer, as most greedy business owners across the pond feel it's like a personal insult if an employee dares to take time off.
Enter Jimmy. PEN describes him as 'grissled' when I think they mean 'grizzled', since he'd been with the business for 43 years. He was the living embodiment of Bus Factor Two, as only he and a single manager knew how to make a specific sub-component, essential for the production line. You may be able to guess where this is leading. Art!
That's Jimmy at the back
The came the words no employee likes to hear - the owner was retiring and selling the business. 'Nothing will change,' he lied. Or he was duped, one of the two possibilities.
Of course the new management made changes. They sought to immediately cut the wage bill by firing those close to retirement, including that manager who could also make the Macguffin, and chopped leave entitlement to 4 weeks all in. However - that word I love so much! - they VERY UNWISELY allowed leave to be called in by phone without getting it pre-approved.
Realising that they are now in a Bus Factor One situation, manglement bring in a 'backup' for Jimmy. Art!
Their intent is obvious; have Jimmy train this noob, then fire him and save on his salary. Jimmy pre-empts them by calling in on noob's first training day and informs that he is taking all 10 weeks of accumulated PTO.
Ooops.
There was a small amount of Jimmy's patented sub-component in storage, but manglement were not happy at being brought this close to the wire. Jimmy wasn't happy with how they had been treating him, so during his 10 weeks off he applied for other jobs and got one. Three days after being due back he rings up and informs manglement that he quits.
This is a very serious problem. The word 'patented' above is not mere hyperbole, these parts could only be made under licence by an approved technician. Whom the business no longer employs. Suddenly production is brought to a halt.
Ooops.
The stored parts run out. Manglement gets desperate. Desperate enough to contact the now-retired owner, who proved to have been hoodwinked about the changes they had imposed and was frothing with ire about them. He charged them over a million dollars to come in and train new hires and they had to pay, or go out of business completely. NB PEN later informs that the business had been worth $500 million when manglement acquired it.
PEN further informs that Jimmy and ex-owner made an 'electronic control module' that was mounted in a sealed unit made of epoxy resin. It might have been possible to reverse-engineer it were it not for the back orders piling up and time being critical here. Art!
There were further comments from other Reddit readers, notably asking if manglement had tried to get Jimmy back, even as a consultant? PEN guessed that they tried, and Jimmy wasn't interested or bothered, given how he and his 15 fired ex-colleagues been treated.
An example of how manglement treated Jimmy was when he'd already clocked off and was in the car park ('parking lot' for any South Canadian readers out there), heading for his truck. Out comes his boss, who wanted him to go back in, clock on and do another 3 hours work. Jimmy waited in his cab until Bottomhole Boss got up close, then hauled a '40' out of his in-cab cooler and necked the whole bottle, all the while giving BB a dead-eyed look. Art!
A '40'
The car park was a vacant lot owned by the city, not company property, so BB had no recourse but to walk back in as Jimmy burned rubber and gravel out of there. Also, this happened on a Friday. As PEN states, doing this instead of a simple 'no' makes a more impressive statement.
There is a coda to this that may come later. I bet you can hardly wait.
Conrad's Succintness Impresses
Art!
NO!
Next.
Not Not Aeroflot
Conrad is sanguine about Britons using the Ruffian state airline to fly into or out of This Sceptred Isle, as they were banned from the UK's skies back in 2022 and have never returned. Ha!
Art?
Within Mordorvia itself, Aeroflot is becoming more and more a case of Ruffian Roulette. They have been cut off from genuine spare parts for their stolen Boeing and Airbus fleet, not to mention software updates and patches, which has led to planes becoming so unsafe that manglement are ordering employees not to report any malfunctions, lest planes become grounded. Because flying a dangerously unsafe aircraft and jeopardising the crew and passengers is of less concern than making a profit? This fly-or-die policy has been in force for a year and, allegedly, applies to other airlines as well, whom are also suffering from sanctions and lack of maintenance. Art!
Currenly, Mordorvia manages a partial workaround by importing some spare parts through the UAE, Turkey and China. Problem is, this takes longer and adds to the expense, at the risk of having counterfeit parts sold on. Not only that, spare part suppliers are now requiring tail numbers for the aircraft they are destined for, meaning anything Ruffian will be cancelled. Art!
It has cost the state $12 billion in subsidies and loans to airlines, so the solution is now to soak the flying public by increasing air fares by at least 15% and up to 30%, because once again the serfs must pay for the Tsar's war.
You What?
Conrad is once again baffled at the apparent expectation of knowing whom some celebritute is, when I have no inclination to know and even less to click on their link to find out more. Art!
A Variation On The 'Too Unsafe To Drive Away' Scam
You ought to remember this one: BOOJUM!: If I Were To Say 'Cart Rubble'
- featuring CHINS, whom a scummy scammy garage employee tried to rip off to the tune of $3,700, failed, got fired and arrested. Possibly confused by CHINS being all dolled-up with hair and makeup on point.
ANYWAY another lady shared her tale in the comments.
I took my car to a place several years ago to have the front brake pads replaced. Pretty soon a manager comes out and said the rear brake drums also need to be replaced for a total of $700. Well, I only had enough money to replace the front pads so that's what I did. I received a letter several days later listing all the items needing to be fixed. It also said if I didn't comply my car would be reported to the state as being unsafe to drive. I didn't comply and the state never told me I couldn't drive the car because it was unsafe.
Note the important word in the introductory line: 'lady'. What an uncanny coincidence! Not to mention no legal comebacks. One wonders what a half-decent attorney would have made of this blatant extortion.
Finally-
Ending with another Biercism.
" Really, adv: Apparently."
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