Is An Of Fence
NO! That is not a typo, it's an hilarious pun, hilarious I tell you - laugh or it's the Remote Nuclear Tormentor for you! Art?
Possibly a RNT
We may have covered camels in the past, that being the beast, the Sopwith aircraft and the naval outriggers, but definitely not fences. Let me utilise my 'Collins Concise English Dictionary' once more. 'Fence: A structure that serves to enclose an area, such as a garden or field.' There's another 7 definitions that I won't bother going into as that one will serve. Art!
You may be forgiven for not knowing who this chap is, as he's a long-dead South Canadian poet: Robert Frost. He coined the phrase "Good fences make good neighbours*". Typically, critics have been quick to ascribe deep and meaningful concepts behind these five words. The most prevalent one is that clear boundaries are essential when dealing with other people, both in literal and metaphorical terms. Art!
Conrad will add to that: "Good fences make good neighbours, especially if you've gotten planning permission." What you see above is a fence, constructed to replace a hedge, which was erected at a cost of £4,500, just up the road from us, in Bolton. The problem was, the couple who had it put up did not apply for planning permission, and the local council ordered them to remove the fence, which they deemed unsightly and unfitting the local aesthetic. Very much an Ooops! moment.
ANYWAY enough preamble, onto the meat of the matter, which I found on Youtube under the banner of something I cannot remember, which is a bit of a problem as I didn't Save To Watch Later or Favourite it. So this will be from my gin-addled memory <sigh>.
So, there is also a HOA in this story, making it kind of a twofer. The Fencing Master, hereafter TFM, lived next to a BOttomhole NEighbour, hereafter BONE. There was a neighbour directly behind BONE, and another on the other side. Art!
TFM decided to put up a fence on his own property between himself and BONE, and invited him to help contribute to the cost. BONE refused. The two other neighbours also put up fencing, and again BONE refused to pay. Thus BONE had effectively gotten his back yard fenced in for free, at the cost of good relations with all three neighbours. Which will become important later.
TFM stated that BONE's dog managed to break through the fence, implying either a rather frail fence or an enormous dog, perhaps both. No, Vulnavia, we are not told what breed of dog it was. Art!
There. Happy now?
ANYWAY AGAIN TFM tried to get BONE to pay for the damage inflicted by Monster Dog, which the bottomhole refused to do. I am beginning to dislike him.
Then the HOA got involved <shudder!> and informed - told, actually - TFM that it was his responsibility to keep the fence maintained, regardless of whom damaged it. Ooops. Art!
HOA 1 TFM 0
TFM bit the bullet and replaced the panel. He then took a closer look at the HOA rules and regulations, which informed that he could paint it in whatever colour he wanted. As a bit of malicious compliance and petty revenge, he went down to the local supermarket and chose whatever tins of paint were being remaindered, and used these to paint his fence facing BONE in as nauseating colour scheme as could be managed. Art!
Like this but much, much worse.
BONE complained to the HOA, who told him that, as long as the fence was properly maintained, they didn't care what eye-watering colour scheme was used. BONE painted over the side of the fence facing his backyard. TFM sicced the HOA on him for 'vandalism' and he had to re-paint in the original retina-roasting hues and tones.
Then the other two neighbours twigged how successful the petty revenge was, and they, too, painted their fences facing BONE's backyard in equally hideous colours.
Unfortunately I cannot locate this story to confirm the ending, but if I recall correctly, BONE sold up and moved elsewhere in the HOA. TFM 2 BONE 0
Get Thee Behind Me, Clickbaiter!
Of course - obviously! - it's fine if Conrad is doing the click-baity stuff, as I have double, treble and quadruple standards. What I object to is other people or entities doing the clickbaiting. Such as this - Art!
Judging by the text used here, and the presence of Nathan Fillion, they are talking about 'Firefly', which was indeed cancelled after one season. The fans of this series, which I have seen and was mostly underwhelmed with, whom call themselves 'Browncoats' - not very flattering - never stop harping on about how it was strangled at birth and what a tragedy and the studio execs pass the port to the right. We'll see if this gets out of Development Hell
Ooh! Look what I just came across!
I can see it being an animated series as the original cast is getting a bit long in the tooth. Except Morena Baccarin, she looks as delicious as ever.
More Gentle Shoeing
In case you weren't aware, Donnie Dorko lost the 2020 presidential election, which kind of broke his brain. He is so obsessed with being an alpha male who never loses that he concocted a bizarrely twisted confabulation about how he was cheated. With absolutely no evidence.
It looks as if King Piggy wants to go back to the litigation trail again, and revisit the 65 cases that Sydney Powell and Rudi Giuliani lost. If you don't recall, because it was years ago, they brayed very loudly about how they were going to prove Trump was cheated out of his votes - whilst they were outside the courthouse. Once inside they promptly collapsed into incredibly vague allusions in order to avoid perjuring themselves. 65 times. The Wizard Lizard Gizzard party are having kittens about Pumpkinhead trying to rake over old coals from 6 years ago. Well, it might distract attention from the Epstein Files and the Straits of Hormuz.
Lay in supplies of popcorn.
Reinstating A Tradition
For several years, Your Humble Scribe has been collecting cans or bottles of beer that look interesting, then putting up illustrations of same so that the whole world can ponder and wonder at the designer's craft.
What they taste like is very much secondary. This collection has been run down to a single beer bottle, sitting forlorn behind my work monitor.
Until now, as I've added a brace of cans and will explicate for you. Art!
In contrast to the ingredients on a Pringles tube, this lager lists: Water, barley, wheat, yeast and hops. I've been aware of the existence of Shindigger before but didn't realise until just now that it's brewed in Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell. Well well. Art!
I recognise this location - that's the Electric Goldfish Bowl to port, and the old Co-op HQ behind it. The address on the can says Manchester M12 but this looks more like M3, perhaps even in Salford. Just so you know.
Another Throwback To The Sixties
Conrad was just browsing for more content in order to get up to Count, and came across the "Vintage Space Art" that I'd saved as a favourite on Youtube. Art!
This is a launch of one of NASA's Project Gemini manned capsules, using a Titan missile body. Yes, a Titan inter-continental ballistic missile, the ones that had Moscow in their electronic eyes when used with a 9-megaton nuke. One has to wonder what the astronaut sitting where a warhead would have been felt about things. Shades of Major Kong**.
Finally -
Let's tie things up with a Biercism:
"Famous: conspicuously miserable
Done to a turn on the iron, behold
Him to be famous aspired.
Content? Well his grill has a plating of gold,
And his twistings are greatly admired."
* NOTE CORRECT SPELLING
**
No comments:
Post a Comment