How Do You Like That One?
I dreamed it up whilst taking Dena on her trotties, so thank you Thinking Time.
So, this tale, under 'Pro-Revenge' from the 'DarkFluff' Youtube channel, takes up most of two sides of A4 in my scribbled notation. Your Humble Scribe has the feeling that, if 'twere to be published entire, it would be the whole of the blog, so I may deliver it in two parts. We'll see. Art!
That's a rock-eating monster eating rocks, as two pages of A4 is desperately dull stuff.
So! Let me introduce the narrator, Woman Into Thorough & Complete Hammering, hereafter WITCH. Let me caution you never to get on her bad side. At the start of her tale she introduced Emma, her young and frightfully attractive niece, and Dean, an ex-colleague whom I shall dub Duplicitious, Execrable And Nasty, hereafter DEAN. WITCH contracted with DEAN's company to provide business systems support, such as payroll and accounting. Since they were hiring, Emma got a job with them. For a year, all went well, with the services being delivered very professionally. Art!
Then enters Charlie, REprehensible Exaggerating Plonker, hereafter CREEP, who is said to be a 'consultant' for DEAN, and whom they first meet at The Restaurant. I capitalise this catering establishment as it is a major player later on. DEAN then becomes a bottomhole thanks to listening exclusively to CREEP, CREEP becomes a fixture at the business and meetings, the services provided lose quality and the number of meetings declines. Art!
WITCH then pays DEAN's business $10,000 to deliver a new business software platform for her business. There is one tiny flaw - it doesn't work. DEAN refunds only $2,000 of the total and says the rest will be paid back in instalments. Meanwhile, CREEP is now effectively running the business and harassing Emma as his true nature emerges. He makes big claims about being a former: college professor, business owner and marketing director, despite, as WITH found out, not having a car, nor having a home or being capable in anything at all. When she challenges them in person about the balance of the repayment, CREEP goes off the deep end, shouting at her, whilst DEAN imitated a cabbage and did nothing. Art!
What DEAN lacks
WITCH then cancelled some of the poor quality services DEAN had supplied, and began investigating CREEP. Whom, it turns out, had an extensive criminal history involving wire fraud, bank fraud, securities fraud, gender violence and an arrest warrant from 8 years prior. A very naughty boy! She sent all this information to DEAN, who -
Did nothing. No spine, hmmmm?
DEAN, to resolve the software issue, then sets up a meeting with Frances, who is too peripheral to merit an acronym, where WITCH isn't sure what's being pitched nor why, as Frances doesn't mention software. Being diligent, she checks Frances' background, which would be good for people who burn easily in the sun, as it was very shady. With links to CREEP. Art!
WITCH hires an IT engineer to see if he can resolve the software problems. and his answer is a loud NO. The system cannot be made to work, as it's an illegal copy of one that was long out of date. After further digging - this lady has mole DNA! - WITCH discovers that DEAN took $2,000 of the initial payment, then handed the rest to CREEP, who got the dud system from Frances.
Does WITCH forgive DEAN and make up? NO SHE DOES NOT!
She informs him that she's cancelling all her business services he supplied, so in retaliation he fires Emma, supposedly because she failed to give CREEP a lift after he got sozzled at another business meeting in The Restaurant. He later claims that she was 'maliciously manipulative', perhaps meaning that she took steps never to be alone with CREEP.
I can feel you seething quietly from here, wanting to know where and when the revenge comes in. It begins now, BUT we're already nearly 700 words in, meaning if I continue that's all this blog will be about, and I'd like to include a few other items for the sake of variety. So - you're going to have to be patient, as Part 2 won't arrive until Monday*. Tee hee!
You What?
Conrad had to get a copy of an item that cropped up on his news feed, because once again I cannot fathom how the algorithm comes up with suggestions like this. Art!
Firstly, why recommend a method of simplifying 'SSH Management' when I have no idea what it is? What is 'Key Rotation' and what are 'SSO Integrations'?
Let me dig a little.
Hmmm, apparently 'SSH Management' is about 'Secure Shell', which makes as little sense as the abbreviation. Something to do with remote logging on? 'Key Rotation' is the process of changing credentials to allow user access, and 'SSO Integrations' are 'Single Sign Ons', which I fervently wish were applicable to the IT systems I use for work.
Demolitions Gone Wrong
As threatened, I got rid of the 'FailArmy' video compilation, because it failed - do you see wh O you do - to give any kind of detail about any of the clips, and am now going with 'Be Amazed' and their clips of demolitions going wrong. Art!
The intent of a demo like this is to collapse the structure into it's own footprint, vertically, so that there is no damage to other structures. Or hopefully not, as debris can be flung quite a distance when you're using explosives. Art!
Only a few seconds in, the silo begins to lean alarmingly in a manner it was not expected to. The angle of tilt increases and the whole structure remains intact until impact. Art!
No, that white office building did not have a narrow escape, because the silo comes apart when it hits the ground, creating a field of flying debris. Art!
Fortunately the building was empty, possibly evacuated as a precaution, and nobody was even injured. This, gentle reader, is why demolition companies pay a lot in insurance fees. Art!
- and this still is one of the 'Please pay out nice insurance company' photographs that they'll be using. They did the cutting-away as per normal procedure and yet nobody in the subsequent investigation found out why it fell the wrong way.
This Struck A Chord With Me
You know Conrad, a mind like a skip**, except less organised. Art!
From port, you have 'Mister H', a Youtube vlogger whose vlogs I occasionally watch - imagine a less frenetic Ryan Kinel or not-so-sweary The Critical Drinker - and in the middle is William Shatner, the world's most famous Canuckistanian, and no idea whom that is at starboard, except she doesn't look happy. If I recall correctly, the vlog was about the definite absolute undeniable ineradicable termination of 'Starfleet Academy' after it's second season. The reason it got a second season is because the director shot it before season one had aired, a canny trick to force studio suits to perhaps
ANYWAY it reminded me of this. Art!
'In The Court Of The Crimson King' by - you may be ahead of me here - King Crimson.
I Say I Say, It Seems To Be Catching
Everyone's favourite Antipodean Youtuber, 'Robot Head', has also weighed in on 'Starfleet Academy', which is about - once again you may have intellectually outpaced me here - an academy in the 'Starry Trex' universe, which trains cadets for Starfleet. I dunno, sounds a dull concept to me. Where are all the epic space battles and cool starships?
ANYWAY AGAIN - Art!
Conrad has no intention of ever watching it as it sounds like a crashing bore, but I may watch RH's vlog and chortle at his viperish venom. He suffers so we don't have to.
Finally -
Just to say we are over and done. DONE!
* It's worth waiting for.
** 'Dumpster' for our South Canadian readers.
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