Operate On Linebacker

I Apologise If You're Not Especially Sporty

Nor up to speed on the latter years of the Vietnam Unpleasantness, because we are going to be covering both as we meander our way towards the actual core of today's Intro.  I bet you can hardly wait*.

     

     This image is of a KC-135 Stratotanker, derived from the Boeing 707 passenger airliner, refuelling F-105 Thunderchiefs - a notably clean-lined jet - and F-4 Phantoms, once tellingly described as 'an aircraft so ugly it looked as if it got caught in the hangar doors'.

     Which is perhaps more detail than you need or want to know.  'Operation LINEBACKER' was the South Canadian response to the North Vietnamese invasion of South Vietnam in early 1972.  The South Canadian military presence had been drawn down to 10,000 men (and 13 women), with only a couple of hundred planes still based there, and the SV response was to mostly turn to jelly.  Art!

"This is how you press a doorbell"

     Prez Nixon, in power at the time, turned the dogs loose, proving that he might well have done that Push The Button move he threatened.  A massive and immediate transfer of South Canadian aircraft from across South East Asia took place and the NVs were bombed back to their original boundaries.  The Air Power school gloasted about this to such an extent that Conrad might have to chase this here Operation LINEBACKER up at a later date.

     ANYWAY 'Linebacker' is in reality a position in the South Canadian's cultural appropriation of rugby, which we will now exhaustively analyse for 8,500 words in order to 

     Only joking!  No, it's 17,000 words.

     Only joking!  As if Your Humble Scribe would waste 1.7 words on describing sport  for the sheer enjoyment of it.  Art!

     This impressively-muscled lump is one James Harrison, who used to play for a South Canadian football team as a linebacker, namely the 'Pittsburgh Steelers', a nickname that came from the city's history of iron and steel production.  A linebacker, lest ye be unaware, has several functions on the field, prime amongst them being stopping the opposition's ball-carrier moving forward.  Thus, whilst he is only 6' tall, he weighs 240 pounds and is an impressive example of Immovable Object.  Were you his physician, you would indeed not date to operate unless with his express permission.  In triplicate.

     ANYWAY we come back to the last example I am going to use from Youtube's Reddit 'I'm Out Of Here - Have Fun Fixing It' because the rest of the stories are far too short to make a difference.  Art!

     I used the prompt 'Badly-run restaurant' and we can only presume this is one such thanks to the lack of customers.  The original anonymous narrator, who avoided mentioning the restaurant name, going by the handle of Peripherally Observing Interpolator, hereafter POI, mentioned that they had joined a restaurant on the recommendation of a head-chef friend who started there at the same time.  Art!

     Sadly, the owner turned out to be a bottomhole from Hades, who chewed out H-CF, in front of a restaurant full of customers, causing their immediate cessation of employment, in that they quit on the spot.  Ooops.  BFH then brought in a new head chef, whom POI described as a 'Nazi', who was always shouting at the staff, finding fault and generally being BFH #2.  POI heard that his HCF had gotten a position at what sounds like a bar with guitar, took a half day off for a fictional doctor's appointment, interviewed for a job with HCF and got the job.  He then rang his old job and said he wasn't coming in for his shift.  Ever.  Which must have felt ever so satisfying.  Art!

     BFH #2 tried to intimidate POI when they returned for their last paycheck, saying he was going to ring up Bar-With-Guitar and drop POI in it for being so unprofessional, and who was his supervisor?

     "Head Chef Friend" replied a grinning POI, to the immediate collapse of BFH #2 akin to a punctured balloon.  

     There is a coda to this, which was told to POI by his girlfriend at the time.  BFH #2 refused to pay the restaurant's dishwasher for a day worked, as the dishwasher hadn't clocked in.  BFH #2 blithely stated 'You learned a lesson'.

     Here is where the Steelers lineback comes in, because this is what the big black dishwasher looked like.  He got BFH #2 in a bear-hug and proceeded to slam him against the wall, repeatedly, so forcefully that the front-of-house staff heard a 'dull thumping' all the way from the kitchen.

     We are not told of the aftermath, which is a shame, except perhaps as a result of both Bottomholes the restaurant shut a few weeks later.  Conrad guesses both Bottomholes learned a lesson.  Art!

Go on, dock his pay, I dare you

Another Sitrep On "The 100"

Conrad is well into Season 2, where of course 'The Weathermen', the inhabitants of the Mount Weather underground refuge (which is enormous) are hiding dark secrets, which we are only just finding out.

     Then there is Chancellor Jaha, who is the last person left aboard the core of Ark Station, having stayed behind to initiate the launch sequence that broke it up into component parts.  Art!

     This is his method of getting back to Earth: a repurposed nuclear missile fired from the Ark, warhead removed.

     Skipping over why the Ark needed nuclear missiles in the first place, or that it would take several technicians with specialist equipment and a couple of hours, not one man with his bare hands in less than three minutes to remove said warhead, these things are NOT designed to carry a human payload.  Accelerating up to Mach 20 would leave the Chancellor as a runny red liquid all over the interior.  Also, these things are designed to crash, not to land.  Do they come with steerable controls that work from inside.  I rather think not.

     Of course, I could be overthinking this .....

Conrad Begs To Differ

The news feed on MSN frequently comes up with items that contort grammar in the interests of brevity, or blatantly click-bait the viewer.  Here's one.  Art!

     Arrant nonsense!  Conrad is not an expert on naval matters but is profoundly aware that, at the Battle Of Midway, 1942 in the Pacific, the sons of Nippon lost FOUR aircraft carriers, which was verrrry careless of them, and the South Canadian Navy lost one.  Art!

Further evidence

     No description is given of these Japanese carriers, but they are being dive-bombed to Hades by South Canadian aircraft from the USS Yorktown and Enterprise.  They learned a lesson.

I Am Not Going To Overthink This One

Here's one of the sidebar items on the BBC's News webpage.  Art!

     You die.

     Unless - is it a trick question?  Are they referring to the shambolic hordes of the living dead and a Zon

     Dog Buns!  I said I wasn't going to overthink this one!

Ladling The Invective Again

For Lo! we are looking at the recent ballfoot game between mighty Bent Ford and the minnows of Manchester United Dairies, which the latter lost.  As ever, when this happens and the moderators open a 'Have Your Say' there is a flood of intriguing insults, because swearing is forbidden.

ourLongAgoTitles

21:08 27 Sep

to super-tiner

" the huge delay between the award of the penalty and it being taken hardly helped Fernandes." Oh crikey, it's amazing/amusing/appalling how the writers go out of their way to invent excuses for Bruno missing yet again. What's next--"Someone breathed quietly at the far end, and it threw Fernandes off."

seasidesteve

15:02 27 Sep

to Rob

You left out Simon - he will be more heart broken by that than he was when his mum shrunk his Man Utd pj’s

     The 'Simon' here is Simon Stone, one of the BBC Sports correspondents who is widely seen as being ridiculously biased in favour of MUD, a conspiracy theory of long standing yet doubtful provenance.

*  This expression is cropping up a lot of late.  I need to find new material.

On The Screen Wih Green-

-Land, That Is.  The Film

For Lo! we are back on Conrad's extensive and citric analysis of all the plot points and Wild Coincidences of that film, because you cannot live on BOVINGTON TANK MUSEUM alone.  For which I have probably well over a hundred photos, so don't think I've forgotten about it.  Art!

     

          Just to recapitulate:  the comet Clarke is now beginning to impact Planet Earth, having sneaked up from nowhere  in a very crafty manner, and selected members of the general population have been chosen for 'Emergency Relocation'.  Allison, John and their son Nathan have been so chosen and must make their way to Robins Air Force Bay.

     However - a word you knew was coming - Allison and Nathan are expelled from the base when it's discovered that Nathan has diabetes and an insulin pump.  John was off getting Nathan's insulin from their car, and boards an aircraft thinking his son and wife are aboard.  Art!

     

Ali and Nate being cast out

     At this point, by Wild Coincidence, a vast seething mob break into Robins, in order to - er - demand a Bruce Springsteen concert? because there are far too many for the two cargo planes present.  This being South Canada, of course lots of them are armed, and a small gun battle ensues, where, by Wild Coincidence, an air force tech guy fuelling a MacGuffin is shot dead, the fuel leaks everywhere and John leaps from the aircraft thanks to his acute sense of smell.  Or clairvoyance.  Or both.  Art!

     By Wild Coincidence again, a stray bullet ignites the leaked fuel, which instantly causes both C-5s to go off like miniature atom bombs.  Conrad is not an expert on fuel flammability and aircraft fragility but cannot help thinking this is not how exploding planes work in real life.  Art!

"Quick, get some marshmallows!"

     Ali and Nate catch sight of the planes exploding, which is not difficult, you could see it from the next state over, and she has to reassure him that his dad isn't a collection of charcoal.  They continue to where they left their car, and - Art!

     I think you see the problem here.  No traffic discipline! nor Air Force MPs directing drivers  on where to park or not park.  What if they need to evacuate Robins Air Force Base? because they can't, the approach road is the poster definition of 'gridlock.  Thus the McGarrity's car is safe and sound but cannot turn around.  Art!

     The scriptwriters have now ensured that the family aren't getting on a plane to a mysterious location any time soon, or at all, and have successfully broken them up into two parts.
     Instead of texting, why doesn't Ali, you know, trying calling?  Left-field out of the box thinking there, admittedly.  Except that would be Sensible, which is illegal in films like this.  Art!

      Here we see Ali's response to being separated from John and unable to turn her car around: she plans to travel to Kentucky to her father's ranch.  This seems a bit drastic to Conrad, but again Sensible is illegal in this reality.  Why didn't Ali just sit in the car and see if John turned up?  But NO!  Because travelling as a single (unarmed) mother with a small child on foot is so, so much safer than sitting in a nice comfy car.  Whatever.
     James Blish once said that all horror films would end in five minutes if their protagonists behaved sensibly.  Conrad can extend that to disaster films.  Art!

Ignore the blurry orange blob!  Ignore the blurry orange blob!

     That chap heading out of the gates is John, attempting to reunite with Ali and Nate.  Note that there is still a seething rugby scrum of hopefuls waiting to  get in to Robins.  DESPITE the two huge explosions that were clearly visible to Ali a mile away on the approach road; are these people blind, deaf or suffering from a collective death wish?  One would think the gate guards would be telling them 'Plane goney.  No planey.  Gone planey.'  Art!

     John,  without transport - what, nicking one of those abandoned cars is immoral in the face of imminent apocalypse? - is mooching about wondering how to get to Kentucky and stumbles across an End-Of-The-World party, from where we see more fragments of Clarke arriving to deliver good news.  Not FORESHADOWING or anything.  At all.

     Which is an adequate place to stop.

Conrad Is ANGRY! Yes Again

I've been saving my ire up and can now unleash it, for your delectation, as there it little in this world funnier than an angry old man.  Yes, we are on about Codeword compilers again, who are getting rather too cocky now that the Remote Nuclear Detonator is in for servicing.

LEMUR: Its not obvious, but this animal's name comes from the Latin for 'ghosts' - 'Lemures', thanks to their facial appearance.  They hail from Madagascar and my 'Collins' describes them as 'arboreal prosimian primates', exemplified by the ring-tailed lemur.  So - we're expected to be experts on Madagascan wildlife and New Latin taxonomy?  I THINK NOT!  Art?

Looks a bit of a scamp

EDICTAL: Unusually this is from the Crossword not the Codeword.  It is a derivation of EDICT, which itself means 'An order'.  But have you ever EVER seen EDICTAL being used in either speech or text?  NO!  NO YOU HAVE NOT!
  Art?

AI Art Generator comes through for 'EDICTAL'

OTIC: I had to go back over the solutions letter by letter to ensure it was actually OTIC correct, and it was.  But what on earth did it mean? as I've never heard of it before, and you'll see what I did there.  "Of or relating to the ear" says my Collins, from the Greek 'Otikos' meaning 'Ear'.  Art!

This Will Make Colin Happy

By Wild Coincidence, I came across the following novel item in my MSN feed this morning, which if Art -

     The business had been around for a century before going into administration five years ago.  It was bought out by an Indian company who have now declared an intent to begin producing them again.  Now I have a topic that I can converse with about motorbikes.

The Hoofing Continues!

Yes, more gleeful gloating from over 2,000 Commenters who were all delighted to see Manchester United Dairies get a right shoeing from Bentford, as there seems to be an awful lot of ballfoot fans nursing a grudge against MUD.  

Noisy Neighbour

14:34 27 Sep

Brentford are a delightful footballing team, Utd are not! The notion held by Utd fans & the Utd biased media that Bruno is world class is the biggest myth & lie in world football, absolutely bang average,
Just does not turn up often enough. Utd are & remain the laughing stock of Football, how can a club spend nigh on £2.64 billion in 10 years & be so rubbish?!

     <Conrad sucks his teeth in awe> £2.64 billion?  That's an awful lot of money for them to be hovering at the bottom end of the Primark Leek (sp?).  Art!

Theatre of screams

Talking Of Substitutes -

Not that we were, but they are a thing in the ballfoot game, so I'm claiming a legitimate link between these two items.

     Back in August Darling Daughter brought Conrad up to speed on films she'd seen that were worth watching, one of which was 'Gonjaim Haunted Asylum', a Sork horror film.  Art!

     Is it on Netflix?  No, it isn't.  What Conrad came across might be classed as a substitute for it, however (2nd time today!).  Art!

     The cast and crew are Filipino, so they vary between Tagalog and English, absent subtitles, which is confusing at times. The old cliche of bumbling around the premises in the dark at night is front and centre, because it's a cheap way to create suspense.  Conrad would have waited until daylight, but then he is a massive coward.  The other horror film trope, splitting up into pairs, is also front and centre. because in this reality Sensible is also illegal.  I will let you let you know.  I bet you can hardly wait.

Pumping Irony

No, We Are Not Going To Be Celebrating Arnold

But, since I have mentioned his name, I am now allowed to bring up an illo of him from his back catalogue.  Art!

This is a bit meek.  Try harder, Art.

     

Much better!

     As you may be aware, earlier in his cinematic career, he appeared in the film 'Pumping Iron', about bodybuilders, which Conrad has not seen and never intends to, for it is simply not my cup of black loose-leaf Darjeeling.

     Well, that begins today's Intro, and I would like to continue on this theme.  No, what you want doesn't matter; once again, whose blog is it?  Art!

     Yes, 'Pump It Up' from the dim and distant days of 1977, because Your Humble Scribe is old enough to remember it first time around.  Elvis might decry his early material yet I can confirm it's ridiculously catchy stuff.  Art!

     This is another I remember from first time around, 36 (erk!) years ago, 'Pump Up The Jam' by Technotronic.  I fail to see where jam occurs naturally in the real world at such subterranean depths that you need to beusing power machinery to elevate it to ground level.  

     You may begin to see a pattern developing here.  Art!

     To quote the CAMRA description "Biscuity, malty and lemon aroma. The flavour has mandarin, lemon, mango and sweet biscuit notes balanced by the bitterness".  Yes, well to Conrad it's beer, and it's beer-flavoured.  I don't recall seeing it on the shelves at Morrisons, the Co-Op or Lidl but will keep an eye open for it in the future.

     Where am I going with this? I hear you quibble.  O I thought you'd never ask!  Well, today's Intro involves oil pipeline pumping stations, and there is simply NO WAY to make such a subject sexy and appealing, so we've arrived there via a very roundabout route.  Props to 'Jake Broe' for providing more info about a subject Conrad was already curious about.

     <pause to go make beer and onion gravy>

     Art!

     What is a crude oil pumping station and what does it for?  Well, oil transmission pipelines are usually buried for reasons of safety and efficiency, and we'll come back to that.  Oil flowing inside a pipeline accumulates friction thanks to being in contact with the interior of the pipe, and thus loses pressure over any distance it is being sent.  In order to counteract this loss, pumping stations are positioned along the line at intervals, to maintain pressure.  Conrad has found the metrics for how many pumping stations along a pipeline to be a bit of a moveable feast.  Art!

     These are two pumping stations in Mordorvia, which Ukraine hit with drones, and the fact that they are on fire is confirmed by the inset pictures, which are NASA's satellite 'FIRMS' data, which displays areas on fire.  With no way to keep up the pressure and keep the oil flowing, the whole Kuibyshev pipeline has been closed down.  This will persist until the pumping stations are repaired.  However - first use today! - the Ukrainians did a similar number on one of the Druzhba pumping stations, which the orcs repaired.  The Ukrainians hit it again.  The orcs repaired it again.  The Ukrainians hit it again.  The orcs gave up.  Art!

     Forgive the orientation - Ruffia, doncha know.  The graphic here displays only part of the Mordorvian pipeline network, yet Conrad counted about 70 pumping stations present; the blue circular symbols.  Overall, I would estimate there are about 300 pumping stations within the borders of Modern-day Mordor, ± 50%.

     Is this important or relevant?  Yes, rather.  You see, Ukraine will have ranged these sites to the millimetre as they are big and static and have been around for decades.  Not only that, they are full of fuels that itch to explode at the slightest provocation, and there are too many to defend.  Ruffia cannot adequately defend it's oil refineries and now has to find the resources to defend hundreds of additional targets?  Please!  Plus, Ruffia's sheer size works against it here, because these oil pipelines traverse enormous distances - 38,000 kilometres as far as I could find out.

     Ooops.  The irony, it deflagrates*.

Morecambe And Stupid?

One of the things that has made Donold Judas Trump miserable in 2025 are the persistent allegations about his involvement with the uber-perv Epstein, who was his best mate at one point, as much as the Boorish Orange Oaf Himself has mates.  Hilariously, 'Moscow' Mike Johnson, the Speaker of the House whose only skill is licking Trump's shoes to a high gloss, floated a suggestion that Trump was in fact working with the FBI to bring down Eppy, at the same time that DJ Tango was loudly declaring the whole thing a hoax.  Collapse of stout party, suggestion reeled back in, Johnson hideously embarrassed.  Art!

Come on, who did this!

     For reasons of it not being up to spec on statue code, said the National Parks Service, and also because it must have given the Toxic Tangerine Toad a near-stroke.  Conrad cannot help but think it mirrors our classic comedy due Morecambe and Wise, who used to adopt this pose when ending their set.  Art!

     The difference being that everyone loved M & W.  They were a national institution, whereas DJ Tango ought to be in one.

Further To Bentford And Manchester United Dairies

These are two ballfoot clobs, lest ye be unaware, and yes yes yes, we are so going to put up a few Comments.  Art!

     Conrad has noticed that there seem to be a lot of people who dislike Manchester United Dairies with a poisonous passion, and is not surprised there are that many Comments.

Gazza

14:37 27 Sep

Haven’t won 2 games in a row since Amorim been in charge
Haven’t won away since March!
Please don’t fire him!

     You may have gathered already, but 'Gazza' is not a fan of MUD.

Noisy Neighbour

14:35 27 Sep

Minus 4 Goal difference after spending £220 million in the summer 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

     For Your Information, the 'Goal Difference' is the difference between how many goals MUD have scored, and how many have been scored against them.  It's a metric that gives a snapshot of how a clob is performing, and if at the end of the season teams have the same number of points, their GD is used to determine who has the superior position.  Art!

The Etihad Stadium, home of Manchester In The City

     Once again FYI, MITC used to be called 'The Noisy Neighbours' by fans of MUD, as they made a racket but didn't achieve anything, a nickname that is now rather a sickname.

Back To Terry

Terence Cuneo, that is, the British war artist who was much sought after for his expressive depictions of the British army and home front during the Second Unpleasantness.  Art!

The Royal Engineers Clearing the Mine Fields at the Start of the Battle of El Alamein, 23 October 1942

     Quite a well-known painting, I'm pretty sure this illo is on a dust cover for a book I own.

     Just to point out that this was a HORRIBLY dangerous job.  The lead sapper ('Number One' of the team) is using a mine-detector modelled on a Polish original, and if the detector's head moves over a metallic object, there will be a high-pitched squeal in the headphones he's wearing.  To operate it one needs to be upright, so out of cover and a target for any enemy in the vicinity.  The Number Two behind him will mark the object and perhaps also attempt to lift it, finding out whether it's actually an anti-tank mine or a bit of shell casing, hoping that it's not attached to another mine below as a booby-trap.  You needed nerves of vanadium steel to do this kind of work.

Laughs And Points

The loathsome dungbag George Galloway has suffered rather an embarrassing reception in the Allotment Of Eden when he returned from pimping for Mordorvia.  Art!

     Conrad is positive that, were you to remove that hat, you would find the face of Voldemort glaring back at you.  Or - perhaps Vladimir Putinpot?

*  Not to be confused with 'deliquesence'.  Just so we're clear.

Sunday's Sternward Sighting

It Has Rolled Around To Sunday Afternoon Again

Thus, it behooves us to do the usual retrospective peek back over 12 years, with a click-bait picture up first to tempt the viewers in.  Art!

     Tempt or repel: this character is apparently 'Condiment King', from when Marvel were happy to employ writers and artists who were off their collective box on exotic chemicals.  Or something.  A terrifying figure who would pepper your chips or salt your peas, mahap?

     ANYWAY if we bypass this anomaly, then it is surely time to whistle up the list of links to the previous iterations of BOOJUM! and this same date in blog history.

2024

BOOJUM!: Half-Baked Alaska

2023

BOOJUM!: Barbied Wire

2022

BOOJUM!: If I Were To Say "DART"

2021

BOOJUM!: Binging On Storks

2020

BOOJUM!: Watch, Men

2019

BOOJUM!: Thanks, Brain

2018

BOOJUM!: "What Is The Biggest Possible Threat To Humanity?"!

2017

BOOJUM!: The Bridges Of Madison Countea

2016

BOOJUM!: How To Confuse People!

2015

BOOJUM!: It's Doctor Who, And Davros, Two

2014

BOOJUM!: The Doctor Brushes Up

2013

BOOJUM!: I Have Not Sat On Saturday

A Mower

Bear With Me On This, It Takes A While To Develop

No, this is not a tricky pun to introduce Aquaman into the blog, in his most recent iteration as played by Jason Momoa, which you have to admit sounds verrrry close to our subject matter in the title.  Art!

One for the ladies, and some men

     Because we are going to be tackling what might <ahem> be called 'Mo Mower', which is a pun I made up all by myself.  Can you tell?  Art!

     For we are going to be looking at that song 'One Man Went To Mow', and you can see why I led with Jason rather than a man with arms made out of string and legs that clearly cannot support his body.  In the song, the number of mowers gradually increases - Mo Mowers, like I told you - so if we copy the lyrics:

One man went to mow, went to mow a meadow

One man and his dog

Went to mow a meadow

Two men went to mow

Went to mow a meadow

Two men, one man and and his dog

Went to mow a meadow

     The whole song has 8 verses, which I am not going to inflict.  

     ANYWAY the core element here is that of the mower.  Art!

     Welsh actor Pat was big in the Sixties and Seventies.  Still at it in the soap opera 'Emmerdale', which deals with a lot of farmers who may well go out to mow meadows, although they are more likely to use a tractor or riding mower than a pushalong version.  Art!

     As you can see, these things are NOT cheap!  You wouldn't purchase one to do your pocket-handkerchief sized front garden, unless you were trying to impress the neighbours.  On the other hand, if you have an acre or two, whizzing about whilst sitting down, instead of pushing around a mower sounds like a winner.

     Onto the meat of the matter, which is that of another story from the Youtube Reddit vlog "I'm Out Of Here - Have Fun Fixing This".  The narrator, whom we shall dub Engineer & National Guard, hereafter ENG, worked as a small engine repair technician in a very large company that spanned several states in South Canada.  Art!

     He was also in the National Guard, which I will have to explain about, as small engine repairs are intuitively understood.  The South Canadian NG is a military reserve force, rather like our Army Reserve in the Allotment Of Eden, whom do drill on one weekend out of four, and have a two-week exercise annually.  They can be mobilised to cope with natural disasters, civil unrest (as recently when they picked up litter in Washington) or be sent overseas.

     ENG's boss was Abusive Woman & Flipping Useless Leader, hereafter AWFUL, who bitterly resented that he got a long weekend once a month to go do NG training, and also time off to attend physiotherapy for a work-related injury.  Art!

She can only cackle, not laugh

     So she targetted him in order to make his life miserable, simply because she was awfully AWFUL.

     One of the Commenters said ENG ought to have gone to their CO at the NG - stop me if I get too technical - who take an extraordinarily dim view of their soldiers being messed about by bumbletucks like AWFUL, and whom could have pulled her business licence and shut her down for her actions.

     Then she refused to permit ENG to take a day's vacation three months in advance, so he could go see the eclipse.  That was the last straw - when he came back in on Monday, he loaded his toolbox up and quit.   AWFUL witnessed this and lost the plot, because she had nobody else qualified, experienced or skilled in small engine repairs.  Well, dear, this is what happens when you have a Bus Factor of One.  Art!

     You see, ENG had been working on 80 riding mowers, and there must have been a close deadline because AWFUL didn't have time to advertise, interview and recruit anyone else.  Instead, she had to pay to transport them to another workshop in a different state, have them worked on and then pay to have them transported back.  Because her location didn't do the repair work, she saw $0 return on them, and it ended up costing her $100,000.

     This is where ENG's story ends.  Conrad can predict that AWFUL got fired, because a manager who runs up a $100,000 tab without anything to show for it is not going to remain a manager for long.

The Kimmel Effect*

Another typhoon in a thimble.  You may not be aware, but show host Jimmy Kimmel was variously fired, suspended or sent to stand in the corner after making a remark about Charlie 'Great Big Jerk' Kirk.  Guess who had been putting pressure on the studio to fire him?  Yes, Mister Zeppelin Ego himself.  Art!

     One reason Donold Judas Trump hates comedians who poke fun at him is that he has minus sense of humour.  Famously, he wanted to prosecute 'Saturday Night Live' for mocking him in his first term, because as I said - Zeppelin ego.

     Mr Kimmel is now back on television and, inevitably, drew record-breaking crowds of viewers, because tons of publicity and even people who hadn't watched him before or knew nothing of him tuned in.  Guess who's going to be in a very bad mood for the weekend?  DJ Tango.  Thankfully he cannot read, either, so he has no idea of the horrid things we here at BOOJUM! say about him.

Waiter!  Pour Me A Glass Of Schadenfreude

Calorie-free, no alcohol content and will not disturb or stress your liver, kidneys or braincells.  Conrad noted with glee, even to the extent of rubbing his hands, that Manchester United Dairies, hereafter MUD, were beaten in the ballfoot Prime Air (sp?) Laager by Bentford.  Art!

     You can guarantee that if MUD are beaten there will be hundreds, if not thousands, of Comments if the BBC opens up a Have Your Say - and they did.  So allow me to peruse the poisonous pearls of wit.

Comment by Arthur Rittick at 14:35

Arthur Rittick

14:35

That lad who isn't cutting his hair until Utd win five in a row is gonna end up like Cousin Itt from The Addams Family.

Mr A

14:38

to Arthur Rittick

He’ll probably be drawing his pension too.

     Art!

Cousin Itt

     In a field of 20, lest ye be unaware

I Cannot Resist A Bit Of Shoeing And Showing Off

It was either this, a Ruffian submarine about to blow up and/or sink, and another item about Boorish Orange Oaf Himself.  Art!

KalibratedMaps

@Kalibrated_Maps

Russian forces are continuously advancing south of Pokrovsk and west of Selydove. This is beginning to look like a major breakthrough with Russian forces already 6km southwest of Pokrovsk and 10km from Dninpropetrovsk Oblast.

DATELINE DECEMBER 9TH 2024

     Conrad could not resist a dig here.

@Conrad

·

Sep 16

Do you have any comments now that it's 16th September 2025 and Pokrovsk is - kinda - sort of - not conquered?

     My comment has been completely ignored.  What a surprise!

You Don't Get Off That Lightly

Conrad is delighted to say - though you may not be so enthusiastic - that he has found a web page that lists all the artworks painted by Terence Cuneo, esteemed British painter of the military, locomotives and animals.  Most of the titles have a link to a page where they are offered by various auction houses.  Art!

     Hence the watermark.  This is 'The Battle Of Monte Cassino' and depicts 8th Army 5.5" guns delivering the good news to the Teutons in Italy during that dreadful attritional slogging match.  Note the shell on a cradle in the foreground; you couldn't simply heft these single-handed as they weighed a couple of hundred pounds, and the chap with a rammer ready to push it into the breech.  Not present is an NCO who would be keeping a tally of how many rounds fired at what map reference or named location.

     BOVINGTON TANK MUSEUM tomorrow, if you're lucky.  I bet you can hardly wait.

*  A variant of 'The Streisand Effect'