First Of All -
WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS! No, this is nothing to do with the consumption of drugs, legal or illegal. It is, in fact, Chapter 26 in "The Seventy Great Mysteries Of The Ancient World", hereafter '70'. Yes yes yes, I skipped a whole bunch of boring chapters that looked duller than unbuttered bread - "The Mystery Of Paleolithic Cave Art" being one such. Chapter 26 is 'The Meaning Of The Megaliths', 'Megalith' being a compound of the Greek 'Mega' for 'Big' and 'Lith' for 'Stone'. Hence today's title. Art!
Carnac, Brittany, France
These stones are no lightweights. Art!
No, she is not very small. The stone is big. Got that?
Stone is a resilient material, as some of these structures are over 5,000 years old and are still hale and hearty. There is evidence of wooden structures - megadentros? - such as 'Woodhenge' in the UK, and some of these were converted to megaliths by substitution of stone for wood. Art!
This is the Rudston monolith, which is - you may be ahead of me here - at Rudston in Yorkshire. It stands over 25 PROUD IMPERIAL FEET tall and masses an estimated 26 tons, being quite the whopper. There is speculation that it was sacred to the prehistoric erectors NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK so it's current location in a churchyard has a certain innate irony. Art!
What you see here is what remains of the Avebury stone circles, one of the more famous neolithic sites in the Allotment of Eden. Look upon our works, ye mighty South Canada, and be consumed with jealousy.
ANYWAY since the builders of these megalithic structures were unkind enough not to leave an operating manual - writing in England not being developed for several thousand years later - there has been unending speculation and theorising about what these structures were for and what they did. No, Vulnavia, Ancient Community Service is hugely unlikely as an explanation. Some sites have been found to correspond to astronomical conditions such as phases of the moon or the position of the sun in the sky at certain times of the year. This may be an explanation without it being definitive.
Then there are barrows. Art!
<heavy sigh and sounds of Tazer charging up>
No, Art, no. Try again after you stop quivering and smoking.
There you go, I knew you could do it after a little light electrocution.
Here we see the barrow at Knowth, in Ireland, a whopper of a megalith that covers over 2 acres, and which is surrounded by 18 smaller 'satellite' barrows. More usually the earthen mound that covers (much smaller) barrows has been eroded away over the millennia, leaving exposed the actual megaliths themselves. I can find no explanation as to why Knowth still has it's earthen covering, and can only suggest that different construction practices and different weather have enabled it to survive. Art!
This is Mougou Bihan at Finnistere in France, absent the covering earthen mound. Once again there is no definitive answer as to what these barrows were used for - that inconsiderate lack of a user manual again - as only a proportion of them were used for burials, and burial practices were very inconsistent. As an example of this, where skeletons have been found, very often the smaller bones are completely missing. Why so? No, Vulnavia, it is highly unlikely they were put into a stew. Art!
One of the more intriguing literary uses of megaliths and barrows is found in Ol' Tolkies 'Lord Of The Rings', because they omitted it from the filmed version, due to reasons of running time and streamlining the plot. Art!
These barrows mimic those of Northern Europe, being megalithic stone chambers covered with earth, often with standing stones atop them. They stood in the old realm of Cardolan, which had long been in conflict with the Witch-King of Angmar, one of Sauron's most powerful minions. When the realm collapsed and was depopulated, barrow-wights moved into the barrows, being a species of evil spirit, and settled in permanently. Frodo's foggy wandering amongst the barrows leads him to encounter several menhirs, after which he realises he is lost. Art!
I don't suppose anyone was going to ask the wights for rent or utility payments.
Conrad is well aware he has omitted any mention of possibly the most famous megalithic structure in the world. That will come in Chapter 29. I bet you can hardly wait.
Your Occasional Update
I do like to keep you informed about 'The 100'. The only bit of the entire first season I remember, apart from Jasper doing an imitation of a human kebab, is the very end of Episode 13.
SPOILERS AHOY!
Clarke the non-comet non-author
Not sure why I bothered with the warning, it's 11 years since the episode was broadcast.
Clarke The Curvy, to differentiate her from the 'Greenland' comet and Sir Arthur, wakes up in the Mount Weather Quarantine Area. Surprise!
At the beginning of Season 2, the title is "The 48", which is the number of surviving members of the original 100 present in Mount Weather. There are actually 6 other survivors, making 54, until one of them dies by throat-cutting.
SO! actually 53. Just to be clear. Art!
Chuck's Horror Video
NO! This is nothing to do with Chucky the killer doll. Bite your tongue!
No, instead I refer to a vlog posted by Chuck Pfarrer, whom we have mentioned before. He spent 6 years as a SEAL, has a degree in Clinical Psychology and knows what he's talking about. Art!
Currently in Kyiv, he put out a recent blog under the 'Kyiv Post' channel about the Ruffian's summer offensive of 2025. Which has not gone at all well. To understate wildly.
Putin’s Summer Fiasco – 210,000 Casualties, Zero Gains
That's the link to the 20-minute vlog if you want to check it out yourself.
Chuck's delivery is about as calm and impassive as it could be, but two comparisons he made about Ruffian losses really hit home. For one, the Ruffian losses since their summer offensive began in May now total 210,000. They have lost 1,200 tanks, 2,000 other armoured vehicles, 7,300 artillery systems and 157 rocket-launchers. Chuck translated these figures into larger military formations. Art!
210,000 casualties translates as 14 infantry divisions. Full-size 15,000 man infantry divisions, not the 'skinny' Sinister version. Art!
1,200 tanks equates to 5 armoured divisions.
That figure of 210,000 also doesn't include the 50,000 orc soldiers who have gone AWOL or deserted, failing to return from leave or just vanishing into the landscape.
Thus the Ruffians have lost the equivalent of 20 divisions, and the end result? In over 4 months they have conquered 0.3% of Ukraine. Conrad recalls that various unhappy vatniks were griping on Telegram that this summer's offensive would be the last major one Mordorvia could manage, as they now lack the equipment to manage any better. Ooops. Art!
I did wonder at that artillery total but these kinds of figures support it.
Conrad Will Explain Why
Another 'FactBytes' video clip that I can answer so you don't need to watch it. Art!
Technically what they're showing is an assault gun. Why did the Teutons build lots of them? Because they could utilise the hull of an obsolete tank, put a fixed barbette on top and use a bigger gun, making it a lot cheaper to build than a new tank with a rotating turret. Some were also notably lower than a tank, making them easier to hide, and harder to hit when spotted. Art!
That's a Marder III, built on the chassis of the Czech 38t, which was an excellent and reliable chassis and suspension, just a bit feeble in the gun department. Here, again, the turret has been removed to make way for a fixed compartment with a much bigger gun.
That's why.
Finally -
The Boorish Orange Oaf, hereafter BOO, is due to visit the Allotment of Eden this week. No idea why. So he can threaten to invade us, mayhaps? Art!
Last visit, when he met Queenie, he made up a bizarre fantasy about how she knighted him in secret, which he seems to have forgotten about - dementia issues doncha know. I bet she's have been tempted to run him through with the sword rather than dub him 'Sir'. We shall see what a spectacle he makes of himself this time. No, BOO, you cannot ban, deport, arrest or execute protestors from loudly shouting 'Boo!' themselves.
And with that we are DONE!
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