Watch, Men

That Comma Is Important!

Way back in the mists of time - O go on then, the Eighties - Your Humble Scribe bought both "Batman: The Dark Knight Returns" and "Watchmen" as trade paperbacks, and mightily pleased he was with both of them.  Art?

All you need.

     They made a brave attempt to film it, which was probably the wrong format, as it's exceedingly hard to cram in the whole graphic novel into a film that can't muster more than two hours.  A television series  OF THE GRAPHIC NOVEL would have been a better bet, say eight one-hour episodes that would give narrative room and scope.  Art?

No, Art - do keep up!

     For Lo! we are back to that long list from "Rolling Stone", the 50 best sci-fi shows evah, and at Number 9 we have - "Watchmen".  Art? <taps fingers impatiently>.

     This series is supposedly set 30 years after the events as detailed in the original comic book.  I don't know why they bothered; Alan Moore never saw a need to write any more about the Watchmen, I bet he disowned the film and probably set up a Satanic shrine to curse the television series and everyone associated with it.  Conrad cannot be bothered to watch it, and although the critics slavered over it, there's not going to be a Season 2, so there's that at least, Alan.  And why are the police all made out of yellow plastic?
     Motley!  Get out the tropical kit and mosquito repellent, for we are going to hunt the wild mangosteen!

It's not difficult, they can't run very fast

Conrad, On The Other Hand, Can Get Behind This Series

Yes I say, Hastings Ismay.  For Lo! we are back with the good Doctor Hope And His Sick Notes, which are pretty cool in reality and not at all sick as in illness, and our last look at his look at Season One of "The Boys".

     This time our resident medical savant was looking with a jaundiced and disapproving eye at A-Train.

A-Train, taking some strain

   A-Train, you see, has been filling his veins with Compound V as if it were water - which it emphatically is NOT - and has been suffering subsequent heart problems.  Not only that, our naughty lad has also been snorting cocaine, which Doctor Hope says has a four-way whammy on the human heart.  First of all, you get tachycardia, which is an increased heart rate, putting extra strain on your blood pump; high blood pressure, with all the joys that brings; increased contraction force, making your heart work harder as well as faster; narrowing of your blood vessels -

    This tale of woe leads to what you see above; A-Train having a myocardial infarction, at which Hughie and Annie, both witnesses, have a hard time caring or even intervening.  Hughie eventually weakens and applies CPR, highly effectively too, according to the good Doctor.

"Annie wondered if she should just kebab him."

     SPOILER ALERT!  SPOILER ALERT!  PROCEED WITH CAUTION!     

The upshot of all this is that in Season Two, A-Train is kicked to the curb and out of The Seven, because Homelander has made the decision; he knows all about those ticker troubles and doesn't want the embarassment of a team member dropping dead on the job.  Tee hee*!  


What's Cooking?  You are.

It's a hokey line from "Tom And Jerry", if you must know, as Tom sits on a tabletop stove and roasts his rump.

     An aside.  You may not be aware of 'Old Faithful', which is a South Canadian geyser in Yellowstone National Park, known by this name as it is highly predictable.  It is also highly dangerous, as the water ejected is at 1000C or higher, and comes out by the ton, at least fifteen of them.  Art?

Notice the distance being kept.

     Enter our contestant in Darwin Award stakes.  She got into the park illegally, and then tried to take selfies of herself, backing up to get the perfect shot - 

     Until she fell into one of the geysers.

CAUTION!  Not for bathing use

     She survived, partially-cooked, and was able to drive off before being air-lifted to hospital.  Her eventual fate is unknown, as I've not been able to find out anything after 13/05/2020.  She could be looking at jail time, as others who have committed "Thermal Trespass" have done time in the clink.
     People, hmmmm?  Conrad has long suspected that the Devil's Digital Devices are going to thin the herd out, judging by the number of idiots crossing the road whilst texting.

Eulalie!

This word will only make sense to those who are fans and readers of both Wodehouse and Jeeves.  Lest you belong to neither group - what madness can this be?! - I shall explicate.

     Roderick Spode is proof that Plum had an eye for both contemporary politics and satire, being the leader of British Fascists who were late to the party; thus, after all the "-shirts" had been taken, he had to settle for leading the Blackshorts.  Art?

     He takes an instant dislike to Bertie, of course - obviously! - and the feeling is mutual.  However, as he is eight feet tall and built like a mountain gorilla, he does have the edge over Bertie in any physical encounter -

     At which point enter Jeeves.  He advises Bertie, that were fisticuffs to be on the menu with Spode, he need only say "Eulalie" and the raging beast would be transformed into a milquetoast.  Bertie, of course - inevitably! - being the utter chump he is, immediately forgets what the word is and only recalls it when about to be thumped into a quivering jelly by the Spode - at which point Spode positively recoils into an apologetic, cringing wreck.

    Thus Your Humble Scribe was positively enthused when he came across a website dubbing itself "Madame Eulalie's", which is a huge pile of works done by some dedicated amateurs on the works of Plum.  In fact they have all his work done before 1925 available for free, as these are now out of copyright in South Canada.  I endorse any visit you may make, and here's a link:

https://www.madameulalie.org/

    Conrad was slightly astonished to learn that, of all things, there is a Ruffian Wodehouse Society!  Quite what they make of that sprig Bertie and the valet to end them all Jeeves is a case in point, as both species of individual would have been rendered extinct by the Bolshevik Revolution.

Comrade Lenin's trigger-finger is itching ...

Finally -

One of the derivatives that has not so much evolved as been defined by Cyberpunk is "Atompunk", which is not a word I bet you expected to see anytime soon.  You can define it as a bright, optimistic view of the future, and how atomic power (fission and fusion both) would set us free, FREE, FREE!  There was a distinct artistic style that went with it, too.  Art?

Neither seat-belt nor helmet!
(Ha, take that, nanny-state!)

     I think we shall come back to this as Conrad loves that kind of artwork.

     But not today - because we are done!

*  Robyn's belated revenge, matey.