Bear With Me On This, It Takes A While To Develop
No, this is not a tricky pun to introduce Aquaman into the blog, in his most recent iteration as played by Jason Momoa, which you have to admit sounds verrrry close to our subject matter in the title. Art!
One for the ladies, and some men
Because we are going to be tackling what might <ahem> be called 'Mo Mower', which is a pun I made up all by myself. Can you tell? Art!
For we are going to be looking at that song 'One Man Went To Mow', and you can see why I led with Jason rather than a man with arms made out of string and legs that clearly cannot support his body. In the song, the number of mowers gradually increases - Mo Mowers, like I told you - so if we copy the lyrics:
The whole song has 8 verses, which I am not going to inflict.
ANYWAY the core element here is that of the mower. Art!
Welsh actor Pat was big in the Sixties and Seventies. Still at it in the soap opera 'Emmerdale', which deals with a lot of farmers who may well go out to mow meadows, although they are more likely to use a tractor or riding mower than a pushalong version. Art!
As you can see, these things are NOT cheap! You wouldn't purchase one to do your pocket-handkerchief sized front garden, unless you were trying to impress the neighbours. On the other hand, if you have an acre or two, whizzing about whilst sitting down, instead of pushing around a mower sounds like a winner.
Onto the meat of the matter, which is that of another story from the Youtube Reddit vlog "I'm Out Of Here - Have Fun Fixing This". The narrator, whom we shall dub Engineer & National Guard, hereafter ENG, worked as a small engine repair technician in a very large company that spanned several states in South Canada. Art!
He was also in the National Guard, which I will have to explain about, as small engine repairs are intuitively understood. The South Canadian NG is a military reserve force, rather like our Army Reserve in the Allotment Of Eden, whom do drill on one weekend out of four, and have a two-week exercise annually. They can be mobilised to cope with natural disasters, civil unrest (as recently when they picked up litter in Washington) or be sent overseas.
ENG's boss was Abusive Woman & Flipping Useless Leader, hereafter AWFUL, who bitterly resented that he got a long weekend once a month to go do NG training, and also time off to attend physiotherapy for a work-related injury. Art!
She can only cackle, not laugh
So she targetted him in order to make his life miserable, simply because she was awfully AWFUL.
One of the Commenters said ENG ought to have gone to their CO at the NG - stop me if I get too technical - who take an extraordinarily dim view of their soldiers being messed about by bumbletucks like AWFUL, and whom could have pulled her business licence and shut her down for her actions.
Then she refused to permit ENG to take a day's vacation three months in advance, so he could go see the eclipse. That was the last straw - when he came back in on Monday, he loaded his toolbox up and quit. AWFUL witnessed this and lost the plot, because she had nobody else qualified, experienced or skilled in small engine repairs. Well, dear, this is what happens when you have a Bus Factor of One. Art!
You see, ENG had been working on 80 riding mowers, and there must have been a close deadline because AWFUL didn't have time to advertise, interview and recruit anyone else. Instead, she had to pay to transport them to another workshop in a different state, have them worked on and then pay to have them transported back. Because her location didn't do the repair work, she saw $0 return on them, and it ended up costing her $100,000.
This is where ENG's story ends. Conrad can predict that AWFUL got fired, because a manager who runs up a $100,000 tab without anything to show for it is not going to remain a manager for long.
The Kimmel Effect*
Another typhoon in a thimble. You may not be aware, but show host Jimmy Kimmel was variously fired, suspended or sent to stand in the corner after making a remark about Charlie 'Great Big Jerk' Kirk. Guess who had been putting pressure on the studio to fire him? Yes, Mister Zeppelin Ego himself. Art!
Mr Kimmel is now back on television and, inevitably, drew record-breaking crowds of viewers, because tons of publicity and even people who hadn't watched him before or knew nothing of him tuned in. Guess who's going to be in a very bad mood for the weekend? DJ Tango. Thankfully he cannot read, either, so he has no idea of the horrid things we here at BOOJUM! say about him.
Waiter! Pour Me A Glass Of Schadenfreude
Calorie-free, no alcohol content and will not disturb or stress your liver, kidneys or braincells. Conrad noted with glee, even to the extent of rubbing his hands, that Manchester United Dairies, hereafter MUD, were beaten in the ballfoot Prime Air (sp?) Laager by Bentford. Art!
You can guarantee that if MUD are beaten there will be hundreds, if not thousands, of Comments if the BBC opens up a Have Your Say - and they did. So allow me to peruse the poisonous pearls of wit.
Arthur Rittick
14:35
Mr A
14:38
Art!
Cousin Itt
In a field of 20, lest ye be unaware
I Cannot Resist A Bit Of Shoeing And Showing Off
It was either this, a Ruffian submarine about to blow up and/or sink, and another item about Boorish Orange Oaf Himself. Art!
DATELINE DECEMBER 9TH 2024
Conrad could not resist a dig here.
My comment has been completely ignored. What a surprise!
You Don't Get Off That Lightly
Conrad is delighted to say - though you may not be so enthusiastic - that he has found a web page that lists all the artworks painted by Terence Cuneo, esteemed British painter of the military, locomotives and animals. Most of the titles have a link to a page where they are offered by various auction houses. Art!
Hence the watermark. This is 'The Battle Of Monte Cassino' and depicts 8th Army 5.5" guns delivering the good news to the Teutons in Italy during that dreadful attritional slogging match. Note the shell on a cradle in the foreground; you couldn't simply heft these single-handed as they weighed a couple of hundred pounds, and the chap with a rammer ready to push it into the breech. Not present is an NCO who would be keeping a tally of how many rounds fired at what map reference or named location.
BOVINGTON TANK MUSEUM tomorrow, if you're lucky. I bet you can hardly wait.
* A variant of 'The Streisand Effect'
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