The Man With An Exit Plan

I Am Using Poetic Licence There

As the 'man' involved was only 17 at the time, so not technically an adult.  For Lo! we are going to have a tale of torrid trauma, only tangentially of manglement, and more of a creative and clued-up employee exerting their revenge.

     First, I must inform you that the setting was 'Home Outfitters', a variety of store in British America ('Canada' if we're being formal) that sold home furnishings and fitments.  Art!

     Typical of these tales, HO is no longer in existence as it's parent company went bankrupt earlier this year and all 37 stores were closed down.

     ANYWAY the tale was related by one CReative Aware Furtive Teen Youth, hereafter CRAFTY, whom at 17 was doing the job for extra money, not because he needed it - an important detail.  He described what seems to have been a very badly managed store, with the back area crammed full of un-necessary stock and junk.  This wasn't Christmas, when stores have to cram three times the usual stock into the same storage space.  Art!

     That' lest ye be unaware, is a Cardboard Compactor, which every large store has, thanks to the amount of packaging involved in retail.  They are potentially deadly machines that will as readily compact a member of Hom. Sap. as a bundle of cardboard waste - and CRAFTY said this HO was using their compactor -

     - as a storage unit.  In the Sainsbo's I worked at, if there had been ANY hanky-panky with their compactor, people would have been fired on the spot.  You do not take liberties with these machines.  Art!

     Then CRAFTY mis-applied the discount on a sale, ringing it up at £72 instead of £85.  Yes yes yes, it was Canada, but I'm going to price things in pounds sterling because it's part of the COMMONWEALTH.  Once again, whose blog is it?

     The Awful Mangler, or Assistant Manager if we're being formal, caught on to this and said they'd deduct the balance from his wages - which is wage theft and illegal by the way - and would see about the Manager firing him.

     Wrong move entirely!  There were 4 hours of CRAFTY's shift remaining, and he set about performing mischief with a will and a wit.  Nothing like a teenager motivated by spite!

                       

     They set to on the Vacuum and Kitchen aisles, using the incorrect Shelf Edge Labelling, with incorrect names and prices and codes.

     With 2 hours of his shift left, CRAFTY sent 20 photographs of the chaotic and dangerous back area, to the Provincial Work Safety Board.  Ooops.  Having these people biting your bottom with their legal teeth is not a fun experience.  Art!

     

    Next, CRAFTY turned off all but the single register in use, shortly before the customer rush began.  These machines were all so old they took 20 minutes to boot up to Ready.

     Then he left.

     Fun continued in the store long after closing, as it took the remaining staff another 4 hours to correct all the incorrect SELs.  When the cash registers were turned on, all at the same time, they all shorted out.  

      The whole store was shut for 2 days to get their midden-like back area sorted out.  HO head office investigated and fired the manager.  The AM who had provoked CRAFTY quit 'because of the pressure' and probably to avoid being fired as there was plenty of blame to go around.  Art!

    This might be CRAFTY.  A Canadian army reservist, at any rate, whom are trained in first aid as a matter of course.  So - CRAFTY was trained in first aid, and had been promised by HO management £0.75 per hour in writing if they were a qualified first aider.  He sent corporate headquarters proof of his 300 hours worked and got a cheque back for £75.  Revenge and a profit, win-win all round.

"The War Illustrated Edition 213 17th August 1945"

I should remember that publication date, it's my birthday.  Conrad blames old age and gin.  Art!

     The unglamourous yet vital bridging tank, which had proved it's worth in Europe, and which is seen here bridging a stream in Burma.  'Scissors' refers to the method of deploying the bridge as you can see in the montage.

     The exact model of tank is a tad obscure, as there's no decent shot of it side-on, except Conrad noticed the suspension in picture 4.  Art!

     This looks like the suspension of a Valentine and what do you know, once I Googled 'Valentine bridge-laying tank' what did I get but some fruitful pictures.  Art!

     They not only launch the bridge, they can recover it afterwards if need be, nor is it a flimsy construction, as that Sherman driving over it in picture 5 will tip the scales at 30 tons.

     The blurb states that these vehicles were on the Secret List until June 1945, which probably explains the dearth of pictures in Europe.  They also gloatingly note that Japanese defences planned behind river or stream lines were rendered obsolete by the VBLT.  Which sounds like an extreme variety of sandwich.

Meanwhile, Back In Modern-day Mordor

You may recall Conrad mentioning Dr. Jason Jay Smart, who most certainly is, and an expert on Putin's Ruffia to boot.  The boot is also what the Ruffian state has given him, as he is banned from ever visiting there, thanks to his exposés of the endemic corruption and general malfeasance in Mordorvia.

     On one of his more recent vlogs he posted a verrrry interesting graph.  Art!

     The NWF is the piggy-bank that the Ruffian state has been siphoning funds from since the Special Idiotic Operation began, paying off the monthly deficit for over three and a half years.  It is finite, though, and since Modern-day Mordor is burning through a lot more money than revenues bring in, there is no way to add to the NWF and top it up again.  So it is running out - see above.  At a guesstimate of $4 billion being taken out per quarter, it currently stands as $31 billion today in early September - if that figure for May is accurate.  Conrad suspects it's actually lower than that.  Even if not, Putin's regime has burned through $100 billion WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.  

     4D chess?  Putinpot couldn't manage a game of tiddlywinks.

Physical Graffiti

No!  Not the Led Zepplin album, which is the one with all the windows.  I suppose having mentioned it 'twould be churlish of me not to show it.  Art!

There.  Happy now?

     No, what I am blathering about is a positive host of fliers stuck up all around Barad-Dur, in every possible publicly accessible location.  Art!

     I won't put up the other 10 photographs there were on this news article; they clearly enjoyed rubbing the Muscovites faces in this event, because the fliers contain a message from Ukrainian HUR, their Military Intelligence wing.  

"After all the crimes Muscovites committed on our land, it is naive to hope they will escape their deserved punishment, both now and in the future. Residents of the so-called Russian capital can apparently expect special greetings from Ukrainian Military Intelligence very soon,"

     This must be rather un-nerving for ordinary orcs.  How on earth did so many of these fliers get posted under the noses of the FSB, Rosgvardia and police?  Who's been taking and posting these photographs?  And - what, exactly, are 'special greetings'? because Conrad rather doubts they mean gifts of bread and salt.  Art!

O I Say!

Look what I came across on my news feed, gentle readers.  Art!

     I need to watch the whole thing and sit in judgement on it, because I can.  Yes, I am familiar with the engagement, part of Operation BATTLEAXE.  For your information, Halfaya Pass, which was of course - obviously! - nicknamed 'Hellfire Pass', was one of two places where the coastal road ascended the Egyptian escarpment, the other one being through the town of Sollum. As such it was a vital choke-point.

     Conrad will get back to you about this.  I bet you can hardly wait.