Don't Worry, We Are Not Going To Showcase Thirties Lo-Tec
Which I feel is akin to what today's title promises. You know, the Thirties, the decade that didn't realise it was on the brink and when it was over, so were a whole lot of things <mutters darkly>. Art!
Here's the case in point: 'Elektro', featured at the 1939 World's Fair in South Canada, which could walk, 'talk', if you counted a 78 revs per minute record as talking, and smoke a cigarette, which last act dates it O so definitely. Not sure about gender but it does have an impressively large chest. Which was needed for the record player, no doubt.
ANYWAY I have set off describing what this Intro is NOT about, as is O so typical of BOOJUM! <hangs head in shame>, but it does up the Word Count, so not all that bad <mildly happy face>. Art!
What you're looking at here is the hi-tec electro-mechanical hardware of 1965, as imagined in 'Thunderbirds', and 'Sun Probe'. Very clunky, over-sized, primary colour <coughcough> technology. You're not going to get complaints from the seven-year olds watching it, mind. Art!
This is probably the only Trinidadian character you saw on television without realising it. Our nonchalantly reclining character is Lieutenant Green, computer, IT and comms expert aboard Cloudbase, the - you may be ahead of me here - airborne command HQ of Spectrum. He is one of the base-wallahs in 'Captain Scarlet And The Mysterons', who long complains about not being sent out on field missions. Note that his computer control panel is considerably more sophisticated compared to that of Alan Tracy's console of only 2 years prior. Those seven-year old viewers are now nine-year olds, and a tad more sophisticated. Art!
Here is the rather peppery Colonel White, with his cool rotating computer desk, which probably induces nausea until one gets used to it. Also rather un-nerving for any of his junior staff; there you are, skiving away playing Solitaire on your laptop and the big boss has his back to you, then suddenly his gimlet eyes are upon you as he does a full 180⁰. Conrad wonders what all those buttons do and aren't there a lot of them? Probably part of the mystique that they don't get explained. Art!
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| On the set of 'UFO' |
Here we jump forward in time by another three years, and the technology on display here is clearly utilitarian and functional, partly because it's being used by real live human beings. Here we see rows of switches and buttons and a proper microphone, instead of three huge dials and a mike the size of a pineapple. Those nine-year olds are now twelve, and Mum and Dad are possibly watching as well*.
What other kit did 'UFO' have that buttressed this realism in design? O I thought you'd never ask! Art?
'Skydiver', which we've already covered in depth - ha! - so I shan't whang on about it here. Except to say that they have a powered lift between the upper and lower decks because that means being able to shift cargo much more easily than if they used steps or a ladd
ANYWAY back to kit. Art!
One of the SHADO Mobiles going into action, this particular one being the command version mounting a ground radar system. Not a tank, despite those caterpillars, they are armed and dangerous. Giving off an Armoured Personnel Carrier vibe. Of course when I want a picture of one doing in a UFO I cannot find anything. Note that, unlike the comic, the television program treated these as to be kept concealed from the public if at all possible; not going out having missile duels in the high street of Little Sneddlepool. Art!
Here is what I was working up to - SHADO's 'SID', the acronym for Space Intruder Detector. This is an unmanned satellite bristling with radar and antennae and - er - detectors, that picks up the approach of incoming UFOs, warning Moonbase and SHADO's earth-bound forces. The design brief from Derek Meddings, the studio's resident special effects expert, was to build a craft that had an 'insectile' look about it. What Conrad found compelling about SID were it's interiors. Art!
No spinning reels of computer tape, no flashing lights, just what looks like a modern server room. - from a production design of 55 years ago, exclamation mark. Art!
That's an awfully long way from Elektro.
Short But Verrrry Bitter
Your Humble Scribe is currently perusing a set of tales from Youtube's Reddit tales, called 'Top Savage Ways To Quit Your Job' and this one really tickled my admittedly horrid sense of humour. Art!
This one isn't savage but is quite citric. The poster said they had seen another person post on Youtube about this, inspiring them to get hold of a condolence card with the message 'I can't comprehend the depth of your loss' inside. Then they wrote out their two-week notice. Once a better job offer they handed in the card as notice to quit. "It went over well" they ended, which is howlingly ambiguous.
"The War Illustrated Edition 212 3rd August 1945"
To remind all that the photographs in TWI were usually two weeks out of date by the time they were printed, both because of editorial policy and because they were being sent from the Far East. Art!
Amid all the slobbering Wehraboo adulation of the Teuton 'Wonder Waffen' it is often forgotten or ignored that the Allies had some fiendishly clever kit as well. This here is a Gloster Meteor, the single-seat jet fighter, which only came off the secret list as of July 11 1945. Not really visible in the picture here are four 20 mm cannon in the nose, giving it a lot of punch. The tailplane is arranged thus to avoid exhaust from the jet engines. The blurb claims the Meteor is the very first operational jet fighter, and for those who throw in the Me 262, they only survived briefly to serve with the Czech air force post-war, as their engine turbine-blades fell apart in perhaps ten hours. The Meteor soldiered on, being made until 1955, and acting as a target-tug up to the 80's. Yah Wehraboo sucks, you might say.
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| Painted brightly for a reason |
Bring On The Bilious Invective!
I have to admit, wheeling out the 'Have Your Say' comments from ingeniously insulting ballfoot fans is a quick way to boost the Word Count, and seems a bit like cheating, to me. So! I'm going to keep on doing it. I'm horrid that way.
Captain Calamity
17:25 28 Aug
For those unaware, a United Dairies (sp?) season ticket is an expensive item, £200 plus a 'donation' of £100, and it doesn't entitle you to attend all the matches, either. I had to Google that, the probability of Conrad purchasing one is -150%.
bardez
13:17 28 Aug
Ah, that makes sense of other cryptic, caustic comments about dinner ladies getting the sack. Perhaps not the most efficient and effective way to reduce the wage bill? when you have ballfooters getting £200,000 per week.
Joining In
There has been a ton of speculation on social media platforms about whether D J Tango is dead or not, with him being absent from social media, news conferences or braying loudly on the world stage, for a week now. This is totally unlike him, and the whispers are growing that, if he's alive, then he's suffered A Hideous Medical Emergency. One ghastly 'enhanced' photo makes him look like an 89-year old zombie. Art!
I thought I'd put this one up instead as it made me chortle, cementing the fact that I am, indeed, a terrible person. The next few days will be - interesting.
* Not mine, they hated it.
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