On The Screen Wih Green-

-Land, That Is.  The Film

For Lo! we are back on Conrad's extensive and citric analysis of all the plot points and Wild Coincidences of that film, because you cannot live on BOVINGTON TANK MUSEUM alone.  For which I have probably well over a hundred photos, so don't think I've forgotten about it.  Art!

     

          Just to recapitulate:  the comet Clarke is now beginning to impact Planet Earth, having sneaked up from nowhere  in a very crafty manner, and selected members of the general population have been chosen for 'Emergency Relocation'.  Allison, John and their son Nathan have been so chosen and must make their way to Robins Air Force Bay.

     However - a word you knew was coming - Allison and Nathan are expelled from the base when it's discovered that Nathan has diabetes and an insulin pump.  John was off getting Nathan's insulin from their car, and boards an aircraft thinking his son and wife are aboard.  Art!

     

Ali and Nate being cast out

     At this point, by Wild Coincidence, a vast seething mob break into Robins, in order to - er - demand a Bruce Springsteen concert? because there are far too many for the two cargo planes present.  This being South Canada, of course lots of them are armed, and a small gun battle ensues, where, by Wild Coincidence, an air force tech guy fuelling a MacGuffin is shot dead, the fuel leaks everywhere and John leaps from the aircraft thanks to his acute sense of smell.  Or clairvoyance.  Or both.  Art!

     By Wild Coincidence again, a stray bullet ignites the leaked fuel, which instantly causes both C-5s to go off like miniature atom bombs.  Conrad is not an expert on fuel flammability and aircraft fragility but cannot help thinking this is not how exploding planes work in real life.  Art!

"Quick, get some marshmallows!"

     Ali and Nate catch sight of the planes exploding, which is not difficult, you could see it from the next state over, and she has to reassure him that his dad isn't a collection of charcoal.  They continue to where they left their car, and - Art!

     I think you see the problem here.  No traffic discipline! nor Air Force MPs directing drivers  on where to park or not park.  What if they need to evacuate Robins Air Force Base? because they can't, the approach road is the poster definition of 'gridlock.  Thus the McGarrity's car is safe and sound but cannot turn around.  Art!

     The scriptwriters have now ensured that the family aren't getting on a plane to a mysterious location any time soon, or at all, and have successfully broken them up into two parts.
     Instead of texting, why doesn't Ali, you know, trying calling?  Left-field out of the box thinking there, admittedly.  Except that would be Sensible, which is illegal in films like this.  Art!

      Here we see Ali's response to being separated from John and unable to turn her car around: she plans to travel to Kentucky to her father's ranch.  This seems a bit drastic to Conrad, but again Sensible is illegal in this reality.  Why didn't Ali just sit in the car and see if John turned up?  But NO!  Because travelling as a single (unarmed) mother with a small child on foot is so, so much safer than sitting in a nice comfy car.  Whatever.
     James Blish once said that all horror films would end in five minutes if their protagonists behaved sensibly.  Conrad can extend that to disaster films.  Art!

Ignore the blurry orange blob!  Ignore the blurry orange blob!

     That chap heading out of the gates is John, attempting to reunite with Ali and Nate.  Note that there is still a seething rugby scrum of hopefuls waiting to  get in to Robins.  DESPITE the two huge explosions that were clearly visible to Ali a mile away on the approach road; are these people blind, deaf or suffering from a collective death wish?  One would think the gate guards would be telling them 'Plane goney.  No planey.  Gone planey.'  Art!

     John,  without transport - what, nicking one of those abandoned cars is immoral in the face of imminent apocalypse? - is mooching about wondering how to get to Kentucky and stumbles across an End-Of-The-World party, from where we see more fragments of Clarke arriving to deliver good news.  Not FORESHADOWING or anything.  At all.

     Which is an adequate place to stop.

Conrad Is ANGRY! Yes Again

I've been saving my ire up and can now unleash it, for your delectation, as there it little in this world funnier than an angry old man.  Yes, we are on about Codeword compilers again, who are getting rather too cocky now that the Remote Nuclear Detonator is in for servicing.

LEMUR: Its not obvious, but this animal's name comes from the Latin for 'ghosts' - 'Lemures', thanks to their facial appearance.  They hail from Madagascar and my 'Collins' describes them as 'arboreal prosimian primates', exemplified by the ring-tailed lemur.  So - we're expected to be experts on Madagascan wildlife and New Latin taxonomy?  I THINK NOT!  Art?

Looks a bit of a scamp

EDICTAL: Unusually this is from the Crossword not the Codeword.  It is a derivation of EDICT, which itself means 'An order'.  But have you ever EVER seen EDICTAL being used in either speech or text?  NO!  NO YOU HAVE NOT!
  Art?

AI Art Generator comes through for 'EDICTAL'

OTIC: I had to go back over the solutions letter by letter to ensure it was actually OTIC correct, and it was.  But what on earth did it mean? as I've never heard of it before, and you'll see what I did there.  "Of or relating to the ear" says my Collins, from the Greek 'Otikos' meaning 'Ear'.  Art!

This Will Make Colin Happy

By Wild Coincidence, I came across the following novel item in my MSN feed this morning, which if Art -

     The business had been around for a century before going into administration five years ago.  It was bought out by an Indian company who have now declared an intent to begin producing them again.  Now I have a topic that I can converse with about motorbikes.

The Hoofing Continues!

Yes, more gleeful gloating from over 2,000 Commenters who were all delighted to see Manchester United Dairies get a right shoeing from Bentford, as there seems to be an awful lot of ballfoot fans nursing a grudge against MUD.  

Noisy Neighbour

14:34 27 Sep

Brentford are a delightful footballing team, Utd are not! The notion held by Utd fans & the Utd biased media that Bruno is world class is the biggest myth & lie in world football, absolutely bang average,
Just does not turn up often enough. Utd are & remain the laughing stock of Football, how can a club spend nigh on £2.64 billion in 10 years & be so rubbish?!

     <Conrad sucks his teeth in awe> £2.64 billion?  That's an awful lot of money for them to be hovering at the bottom end of the Primark Leek (sp?).  Art!

Theatre of screams

Talking Of Substitutes -

Not that we were, but they are a thing in the ballfoot game, so I'm claiming a legitimate link between these two items.

     Back in August Darling Daughter brought Conrad up to speed on films she'd seen that were worth watching, one of which was 'Gonjaim Haunted Asylum', a Sork horror film.  Art!

     Is it on Netflix?  No, it isn't.  What Conrad came across might be classed as a substitute for it, however (2nd time today!).  Art!

     The cast and crew are Filipino, so they vary between Tagalog and English, absent subtitles, which is confusing at times. The old cliche of bumbling around the premises in the dark at night is front and centre, because it's a cheap way to create suspense.  Conrad would have waited until daylight, but then he is a massive coward.  The other horror film trope, splitting up into pairs, is also front and centre. because in this reality Sensible is also illegal.  I will let you let you know.  I bet you can hardly wait.