I Know What You're Thinking
No, we are not focussing on a big blue box with a flashing light on top - the BBC's premier dramamentary does pop up later, in very tangential style - but we are going back in time to the early Seventies, when Conrad was much smaller in both height and girth, because I am going to reveal what my birthday present to myself was. Art!
It's a whacking big hardback book printed on high quality paper, meaning it wasn't cheap, and in fact cost <coughcough> pounds, but it's my birthday so no arguing. The comic it takes the strips from is 'Countdown', which I used to buy when it came out, displaying how enormously old I am*. They reproduce the cover of Issue One, which, if Art will doff his bowl of coal -
Yes, there's the mention of 'Doctor Who', with the Third Doctor on display. As you can see, they still printed other futurologist Gerry Anderson programs, the ever-popular 'Thunderbirds' and 'Captain Scarlet'. Pride of place was given to the new 'U.F.O.' series, as evinced by one of the titular spacecraft visible on the front cover.
Here an aside, which only occurred to me once I'd ordered this volume. The previously mentioned Anderson shows were done with puppetry, which, granted, got much more sophisticated over time, and were clearly aimed at a juvenile audience. 'UFO' - I'm going to leave out the full stops as it makes it impossible to highlight the whole word at once - was verrrry much an adult program aimed at adult viewers, with very dark themes and episodes. Art!
One for the ladies
I bet this is what you remember most of all, you slobbering perverts. These are the crew of 'Skydiver', whom for reasons that went either unexplained or unremembered, wore string vest as a uniform. The ladies, however had a tan-coloured liner because this went out before the watershed.
Conrad also recalls a line from one episode where an alien is roaming the land, with nobody being any the wiser, until one character tells of coming across a dead dog, "horribly mutilated". UFO crews not big on Fido or other domestic pets, it would seem, and not a line that would ever grace 'Thunderbirds'. 'Captain Scarlet'? hmmmm perhaps, perhaps.
ANYWAY back on track. No! Not a railway. A metaphorical track, do keep up! Art?
The real question here is why they chose such a difficult-to-read font. Let me put those questions in Verdana: "DO FLYING SAUCERS EXIST?" and "UFO FACT OR FICTION?".
Conrad The Buzzkill can answer "NO" and "FICTION" respectively. The truth is a little more nuanced, so I shall explicate. Art!
This is Kenneth Arnold, the private pilot who told a story about seeing mysterious lights in the sky, that resembled saucers or pie-plates. There is no doubt that Arnold was being truthful about what he thought he saw, but alien craft from another galaxy? Just no. One of the more amusing explanations is that he was witnessing pelicans in flight, which conjures up an image hard to unsee.
As radar became more advanced, and as scientists weighed in, the number of UFOs reported fell. Primary culprit is the planet Venus, also known, mockingly, as 'The Queen Of UFOs', thanks to how often it is mis-identified as an alien craft from another galaxy. I believe Arthur C. Clarke - that middle initial is vital to distinguish him from all the other Arthur Clarke's out there who happen to be best-selling sci-fi authors and commentators on astronomy - once pointed out that, once investigated, 97% of UFOs turn out to be Identified Flying Objects. The remaining 3% are definitely not alien craft from another galaxy, simply because they haven't been identified, in what may be a textbook example of Occam's Razor at work. Art!
The Invaders, 1967
That there in the background is what an alien craft from another galaxy looks like, and in this series these visitors were also inimical and hostile, which may have given our futurologist Gerry an idea or two. Except rather than having a lone crusader battling to convince a sceptical authority, we have S.H.A.D.O., another of Ol' Gerr's beloved acronyms.
Which is where we came in.
Right, going to see what Silly, Stupid or Silly And Stupid Schedule I'm on for next week. I shall return shortly.
A Touch Of Koreana
'Twas time for a date with Darling Daughter in Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell today, it being my birthday, and I chose Korean food.
The problem with that is that most of the Korean restaurants in GOTI are shut at the weekend - not liking business or customers - or are waaaay out of the city centre and only open from 17:30 onwards.
So 'Ban Di Bul' it was. Art!
This time Conrad remembered to take pictures before clearing the plates, so here we are. Art!
This is Kim Chi with rice and the signature Korean fried egg on top, quite spicy enough to not need any chilli sauce, and Dog Buns there was lots of it. Art!
This is the Ramen Noodles that DD chose, and her phone is next to give a sense of scale, because there was lots of it. Also quite spicy. Art!
Conrad suspects this to be a sinister South Canadian import - 'Korean Corn Dog on a stick', with a cheesy filling and a frankfurter hiding in there, too. Not spicy and that was a barbeque sauce, not a chilli one.
From Taste To Tasteless
Have I posted any screenshots of the hex-and-counter boardgame I'm currently waging? Art!
 |
| The end of Turn One, out of fifteen |
This is 'DMZ' and I omitted talking about it in BDB as it might be considered in bad taste. The title refers to the 'De-Militarized Zone' between North and South Korea, along the 38th Parallel. Here the outnumbered Republic Of Korea forces have to hold the line as best they can, until their Ready Reserve and South Canadian reinforcements can commit to action. The invading
Conrad suspects that the rules and scenarios have been tweaked to permit the Nork player to not be crushed under B-52 attack the second they cross the DMZ. We shall see.
Talking Of Which -
Here's a picture I saved from the news feed, which has been sitting alone and unloved for several days. Art!
'Obsolete' in whose opinion? This is the venerable South Canadian B-52 strategic bomber, which has been progressively updated over the decades in order to remain relevant and survive in the 21st century air defence environment. There are currently still 76 of the 'Big Ugly Fat Fellas' in service, or four times the number of the sooper-dooper stealthy sneaker B-2 'Spirit' bombers, which are horrendously expensive. Mary Kaldor's "The Baroque Arsenal" in physical form.
You don't see the B-58 'Hustler' or the F-111 'Aardvark' in service anywhere, do you?
"The 100"
At one point in Episode 9, Bellamy accuses his sister of concealing the fact that Lincoln, the ripped and tattooed Grounder they took prisoner, could speak English. Art!
One for the ladies
Now, you may consider this to be a Plot Point, or a convenient dodge, but it actually speaks to a deeper truth. Lincoln is a Grounder in South Canada, where the native language is indeed English, if a slightly bastardised version thereof. Over a period of 97 years it would probably have developed into a distinct patois or creole unintelligible to the Ark dwellers, which we can ignore for purposes of simply speeding the plot along.
However - O my favourite word again! - why do the people aboard the Ark speak English? Because the inhabitants of the Australian, Canadian, British and South Canadian component stations spoke English. The Brazilian and Venezualan inhabitants spoke Spanish, the Chinese spoke Chinese, the French spoke French, the Japanese spoke Japanese, the Ruffians spoke Ruffian, the Indians spoke Hindi and the Ugandans spoke - O, English. So five stations spoke English, meaning it would become the majority tongue, especially as it's spoken as a second language in countries like India. Art!
Not a Tower Of Babel
I love this program. It provides so much content! Better go watch some more. We call that 'research' here on the blog, definitely not 'bingeing'.
Toodle-pip!
* 187 of your human years at last count.
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