Matters Marine

Great!

Said in an annoyed tone that conveys things are not, in fact, great.  You ought to recall that Conrad did what is called a 'deep dive' <ahem> on the 'Skydiver' aircraft-submarine combination recently, with a detailed exposition and illos from where I could find them.

     What did I find not five minutes ago?  A Youtube channel that has a metric ton of full-length episodes of 'UFO'; not all of them, just quite a few.  And what do they start with?  Episode 8 'Sub-Smash' which features <drum roll and trumpets> Skydiver!  Art?

     No, you slobbering perverts, you don't get to see female crew members in all their string-vest glory.  Incidentally, that actor in the foreground is Shane Rimmer, who had done a ton of voice work for Anderson productions previously.
     Dog Buns!  You realise this is yet another drain on my limited waking hours?  Art!

     The Anderson production team was always excellent with their pyrotechnic work, and here is proof.  Things exploding; one thing that Conrad never grew out of.

     ANYWAY I mentioned matters marine, and back on track, for I am tackling the next Mystery in <deep breath> 'The Seventy Great Mysteries Of The Ancient World' hereafter '70', which is 'Jason And The Argonauts'.

     Here a kind of aside.  Anyone of my generation cannot fail to be familiar with the film of the same name, which was released in 1963 and by 1970 (when 'UFO' was being broadcast) was shown on television, to the enjoyment of all.  It really is a rollicking romp of a film, with absolutely spot-on stop-motion effects.  Art!

     That's Jason fighting off seven skeletons, 'The Children Of The Hydra's Teeth', special effects courtesy Ray Harryhausen.  There is one scene that made Your Humble Scribe cringe with horror, and it's nothing to do with skeletons, rather with the inanimate becoming animate.  Art!

     This is the bronze colossus Talos, coming to life with eerie creaking and groaning as his metal body flexes.  Conrad is pleased to see in the comments that it traumatised a whole generation of children, so it's not just me.

     ANYWAY AGAIN back to the myth.  Lest ye be unfamiliar, Jason is tasked with retrieving the Golden Fleece from the city of Colchis, by King Pelias.  He has to do this to prove his worthiness to succeed to the throne - allegedly.  In reality Pelias wants him to fail, and preferably die in the process, thus retaining his ill-gotten throne.  Jason's exploits are best known from the poem 'The Argonautika' by Apollonius of Rhodes, written in 300 BC.

     Well, Jason has a ship built, the 'Argo', and recruits a crew of heroes and/or desperadoes, to sail with him.  They make the journey to Colchis, Jason bests any competition the local Fleece-owning monarchy impose on him and returns to his rightful kingdom.  Along the way he also acquires a wife, Medea, a priestess-cum-witch of Colchian royalty.  Art!

Medea, the inside woman

     The question '70' asks, is - do we have any proof that 'The Argonautika' has any basis in fact?

     You may instantly leap to the conclusion 'NO!' but tarry a moment.  Any mention of demi-gods, heroes, fire-breathing oxen and dragons can be dismissed as poetic licence BUT Ol Appy was describing what Hellenistic culture and civilisation knew at the time of their world in geographical terms.  Art!

'Iolkos' is Jason's point of departure

     You can see 'Colchis' at upper starboard.  This was a real kingdom, and as described by Ol' Appy being 'at the very ends of the Earth', yes it was as far as the Greeks understood geography.  It stood on the shores of the Black Sea, known to the Greeks as the Euxine Sea, and was a rich and prosperous state, notable in it's agriculture and metal-working.  One of the predecessors of what is now Georgia.  Art!

     So, Ol' Appy worked in what the Greeks knew of their world, making it exotic and distant to be more entertaining.  Art!

     '70' describes this as Tim Severin's copy of the Argo, as he sailed the same route as Jason, except it looks like a 1/6 scale replica.  Jason and the Argonauts would have been 'Jason and the Argonaut' if it were that small.

    And on that note of sneering disregard - one of my better qualities! - I shall end this Intro.

From The Sea To The Air

Having finished my 'UFO Anthology' I have now turned to the comic books I purchased on my birthday, the first of which is 'Johnny Red'.  Art!

     Thanks to a series of Incredible Coincidences, Johnny Redburn ends up as a fighter pilot in the Sinister air force of the Second Unpleasantness, which Garth Ennis tries to explicate away - never mind, Garth old chap, we can suspend disbelief for a while.  There was, after all, a complete unit of Frenchmen flying for the Sinisters - which is a story for a different item.  Art!

More matters marine

     What's this?  O I thought you'd never ask!  This is the front- and end-piece artwork, a painting by Keith Burns, and it shows a Catapult Armed Merchantman launching a Hurricane fighter, with the rocket sled falling away.  Yes, these were real, yes they were used in action and yes, they were a one-way trip for the pilot, who needed to crash-land close enough to the convoy they were protecting to be recovered.  A desperate expedient for desperate times.

     And yes, the pilot here is Johnny Redburn.  Art!

     

Less 'On wings of fire' than on a bottom on fire

Your Latest Update On "The 100"

HERE BE SPOILERS.  Just so we're clear.

     Okay, so "The 86" as they are now haven't suffered any more dead by almost the end of Episode 11, which is good going for them.  On Ark Station, however -

     The disconnecting carried out by the absconding mutineers' dropship caused enormous damage to the entire Ark, because of course it did.  Kane, one of the survivors, reckons that less than 1,000 people have survived, meaning at least a thousand dead.

     Well, there is a silver lining to every cloud: that's a thousand people less to transport down to Planet Earth, isn't it?

Instant Karma: Just Add Hubris And Water

I nicked this one from the Comments on a Youtube vlog about people receiving instant karma.  The narrator, Aware Responsible Trucker, hereafter ART, was proceeding to observe the speed limit, posted at 35 miles per hour PROUD IMPERIAL MEASUREMENT THERE, when Deficient Overtaking Liable Trucker,, hereafter DOLT came barrelling down the I-17 doing 70 m.p.h.  Art!

      ART, being a consummate professional, got on the radio and warned DOLT  to slow down.  DOLT's reply was to flip the bird at him with both hands - thus taking them off the steering wheel - but this is not what came back and bit him on the bottom with teeth like steak-knives.  No, that would be the California Highway Patrol police car that pulled DOLT over within seconds of him overtaking.

     ART then related that DOLT got arrested, fired and fined $35,000 for breaking the speed limit (and then some!), in a semi, and in the 3rd lane.  Probably had to sell his big rig to pay the fine.  Oooops.

More Of The Ballfoot Chatter

Both because it ups the Word Count and I enjoy people being creatively horrid.

Paul Bestall

15:39 28 Aug

Thoughts and prayers with Simon Stone who spent all summer telling us just how good Amorin and his squad were.

Keep up the great work.

     Simon Stone is one of the BBC's football journalists, whom the people in these Comments are convinced is a Manchester United Dairies fanboy.  Conrad doesn't care enough to check.

Harry Lime

13:43 28 Aug

The managers job at Man Utd has been a poisoned chalice ever since Ferguson stepped down. No manager since has been able to change the fortunes of this once great club. (I’m a Leeds Utd fan for what it’s worth) . Managers have come and gone, some with limited success. I’m not sure what can be done to rectify things. Man Utd produced some great young players, no longer it seems. Which is an issue.

     Unusually, this is a measured, thoughtful response from someone not a fan of the club.  Ferguson ended his 27-year run in 2013 and, truth be told, has never been successfully replaced.  Ooops.