Talk About 'Hacked Off'

First Of All, We Are Not Talking British Slang

In the Allotment Of Eden, we are wont to say 'I am hacked off about the weather', because it's too hot, too cold, too wet or too dry, usually all four in the same day.  Guess who was surprised when he went to Google an image for this, imagining there would be scads of purple-faced ranters annoyed about Whatever?  Art!

     Yes, that is Hugh Grant, quintessential British actor - whose more recent roles have shown that as he has matured he has only gotten better at being a thespian - who was one of the victims of the 2010 phone-hacking scandal here in the UK.  'Hacked Off' is a campaign for press accountability and non-intrusion, and if you want to be both depressed and enraged at hack* journos, Google 'Milly Dowler'.

     ANYWAY 'Hack' is also short for 'Hackney', a horse that is let out for hire, and by a process of transference, the word 'Hack' also came to be associated with horse-drawn taxi-cabs.  Hence the South Canadian usage of 'hack' for a motorised taxi-cab.  This explains a joke that Conrad, having been gifted a South Canadian illustrated book of jokes, found obscure:  Q.  Who took the first taxi-ride in history?  A.  George Washington; he took a hack at the cherry tree.  Art!

     From Hugh Grant to George Washington, we cover all bases.

     Inevitably, none of these are the kind of hack or hacking or hacked that BOOJUM! means today.  Let me return to my Collins: 'Hack: verb; Intransitive; to manipulate a computer program skilfully, especially to gain unauthorised access to another computer system'.  

     Now we're cooking on Gas Mark 1.75.  Art!

     Unless you've been living in an underwater environment at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, you'll have heard about Aeroflot getting hacked to the nth degree on July 28th.  The picture above is actually a complete inversion of what happened, since all their aircraft are intact - note no use of the word 'safe' in this sentence - and their crews are alive, it's just that their entire IT infrastructure has been destroyed by the Ukrainian and Belarussian hackers.  With no backups.  And the hackers were in these systems for a year without being detected.  Watch some Aeroflot and FSB staff members try to mimic birds and leap from windows.  Art!

     Thanks to 'Jason Jay Smart' for providing further hacky details on his Youtube channel.  My title today is a lot pithier than his: "Putin's Digital Empire Crashes - Blackouts Hit 60 Ruffian Regions".  The bank you see above was one of three that were also hacked. 

22nd July 2025: Sberbank, Alfabank and Tinkoff banks, 3 of Mordorvia's largest banks, went dark on this date.  Mobile apps failed, credit cards stopped working, online transfers could not be made.  Orcs could not access their pay and thus emptied out every cashpoint in the kingdom.  Hacked off!  Art?

24th July 2025: That's the Ruffian for 'Beeline', alongside Megafon and Rostelco, another 3 of their largest phone operators, which were hit with co-ordinated DDOS attacks - essentially swamping their websites with a gigantically enormous number of bot-generated calls - causing their services nationally to 'tank' - stop me if I get too technical - and teh Interwebz to die on it's bottom.  Government entities unable to operate.  Art!

26th July 2025: Apps for groceries and scooter delivery services fail at Vkusvilli and Samocat.  Art!

Hmmm - in Roman not Cyrillic

29th July 2025: Airnet, the biggest internet provider in Saint Petersburg, Mordorvia's second largest city, goes offline thanks to - you may be ahead of me here - hacking.  Art!

30th July 2025: Sorry I have to use a generic supermarket picture for this one, JJS said something like 'Dubton' and I tried Google, which suggested 'Dubrotsen', which doesn't exist <shrug>.  Whichever, their 900 stores were hit by hackers, which caused their HQ to suspend operations totally, as their distribution centres weren't working.  The DC is an enormous storage space as big as an aircraft hangar for a 747, where wholesale supplies are sent for onward movement to individual supermarkets.  Ooops.

     Let me also add in another picture, this one taken from 'WarTranslated' over on Twitter.  Art!

     The authorities in Mordorvia are convinced that shutting off teh Interwebz will disorient Ukrainian drones flying over their hellscape, which explains the heavy shutdowns in western Ruffia.  Never mind that it doesn't work and condemns the orcs to phone internet service once ever two days on average, all the citizens ought to rejoice at being reduced to the Soviet era in terms of technology!

     All of these hacks are intended to inconvenience the average everyday orc as much as possible, and starkly bring home to them that, yes, their Special Idiotic Operation has turned into the 'W' word  - war.  Cut No. 951,103 of a million.

Thinking Time With Edna

Conrad appreciates these walks as there are few distractions, bar other dogs being walked, so I can muse un-interrupted.  Today I remembered to take my camera along.  Art!

     This is the side plot of what Wonder Wifey called the 'Narnia House', which is when this was all garden, and a lamp-post could be glimpsed through the foliage.  The previous owner excavated those trenches years ago, then sold the house and the site was left derelict for years, until a newer owner had begun re-excavating and laying foundations for Something.  We shall see what gets constructed over the summer and autumn.

Thinking Time With Edna The Redux

I've posted before about Number 53 Tandle Hill Road, but can I find the post?  NO I cannot.  Ergo teh Interwebz.  Art!

     A bit of an oddity, this one.  It stood deserted for years; not derelict as the house and garden had basic maintenance, yet there were never any 'For Sale' signs up at any point.  Unless they went up and down in less than a week.  A fortnight ago I noticed that the front garden had been partially dug-up and a mysterious miniature Black Monolith installed.

     Today - Art!

GONE!

     They must have bought it at pennies on the pound if they can afford to completely destroy it and build a new house from scratch.  I did check out the builder's website, and have to say they seem to be a totally reputable and decent company, but they only list completed works - Art!

      Expect to see an update in a year or so.  Maybe sooner? as the art of house construction is a foreign field to Conrad.

Conrad Is - Apprehensive

You know how it is if you're a 'Judge Dredd' fan.  First you have to explain that no, you do not actually support a judicial system that involves instant execution for having an untied shoelace, where there is no appeal and your only hope of not spending 20 years in an iso-cube is to be 'Futsie', which is slang for 'Homicidal Maniac Unable To Cope With The Big Meg'.

     Also, DO NOT MENTION the 1995.  It does not exist.  Anyone maintaining otherwise will be treated to a dose of the Remote Nuclear Detonator, then re-wound in time and RND'd again.  Art!

     Karl Urban, bless him staying in character and never once taking his helmet off, absolutely nailed Ol' Stony Face and has said he'd do a sequel in less than the space of a bionic heartbeat.  We shall see.  Probably due out at the same time as Swift complete Number 53.

     I do have a vlog by The Critical Drinker cued up, which mentions Tia Waitiki as the director in question,  which I haven't watched yet, nor have I clicked on either of the two items above, for - Conrad is apprehensive.

Did Dumplings

There was goulash to use up, so I followed a suet-free dumpling recipe to beef* it up a bit and here they are.  Art!

     They swelled up, rather.  The recipe said cook for 20 minutes but I only gave them 10, as the goulash would have burnt if it cooked any longer, and they were somewhat doughy and undercooked.  Never fear, I have another 8 in the fridge waiting to be used in the Sausage Stew and they will definitely get the full 20 minutes.  I'll let you know.

Finally -

Now to tackle my laundry.  My rock 'n' roll lifestyle strikes again.

*  Do you see wh - O you do.