NO! That Is Not A Typo
You are, indubitably - a word we like to use more often than is normal in colloquial speech as we are pseuds of the very worst, or best, kind - thinking of the nickname granted to the South Canadian Submarine Service of the Second Unpleasantness, to wit: "The Silent Service". Art!
We all live in a pink submarine
Just to be perverse. Because I can and whose blog is it, once again?
ANYWAY we are going to be whanging on about submarines, yes, except not any from the Second Unpleasantness, nor even in real life, because I'm going to see if I can talk about 'SkyDiver' from the series 'UFO' and pad things out to a proper Intro length. If not we may move on to other subjects, like my 5,000 word monograph on 'Forbidden Planet' which has not gone away. Art!
Clearly, this is not a conventional submarine. You may have noticed that. It is actually two components docked together, because that aircraft-looking forward part is indeed an atmosphere-capable jet, 'Sky 1', mated to the submersible 'Diver 1' unit. When the composite Skydiver combo gets an alert about a UFO intruding into Earth's atmosphere, Sky 1 undocks, orients towards the surface and fires up it's engines. Art!
Conrad is sure there are a ton of buzz-kill commenters out there who will instantly pounce on the practicality, let alone the possibility, of Sky 1 being able to operate in this manner. Yah booh sucks to them, I shall ignore any such criticism and point out that when 'UFO' was broadcast in 1970, they were looking forward to the near future of 1980, so prove that submarine design cannot produce a Sky 1 in the next 10 years or go home.
ANYWAY AGAIN back to Skydiver, specifically Sky 1. Art!
It clearly embodies the 'quart-in-a-pint-pot' principle, carrying at least 40 air-to-air rockets and packing four cannon, either 20 mm or 30 mm. Cannon shells that large can carry an incendiary, armour-piercing or explosive warhead, or a combination of all three. This thing means business!
Once an interception has been made, and the evil invading alien scum blasted to molecules, or if they escape and evade, Sky 1 is reported by nerds who are sadder/better/geekier <exclude where relevant> than I to return to land on the sea surface, where it floods compartments and thus sinks below the waves, there to dock with Diver 1, which approaches and mates underwater.
'Yes but the "Silence" bit of today's title?' I hear you quibble. PATIENCE! also SILENCE! and we'll get to that in good time. Art!
This is a Skydiver in it's secret pen. For crews will need to be rotated, fuel replenished, ammunition restocked and essential maintenance carried out, all terribly dull stuff that's nevertheless vital to keep your fleet in tip-top condition, which needs to be done away from any prying eyes and cannot be executed on the open water of a sea or ocean. Art!
If you have seen 'UFO' and if you haven't THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY! then you'll be aware that we only ever see 'Skydiver 1' in action, because budgets, but there are at least three other Skydivers patrolling the world's oceans, according to those familiar with SHADO operations.* Looking at the map above, there might be one each for the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian oceans, with a fourth having a 'roving' mandate to trawl and loiter anywhere. Art!
Spot the Skydiver
Please remember, if you will, that SHADO is an above-top secret organisation, established and intended to tackle the threat of hostile extra-terrestrials COVERTLY, without permitting the general public to find out that they may, on any given day, be abducted for the alien organ banks. Or brainwashed into being a slavishly loyal minion for the green-skinned ghouls.
What does this have to do with Skydiver? O I thought you'd never ask!
'Covert'. Look at that picture above and imagine it's the waters of the Indian Ocean. A submarine is invisible to the naked eye and can cover two-thirds of the Earth's surface that way, underwater and unseen. Bar naval vessels, who would be told in blanket terms 'Do NOT interfere!' with SHADO, there's precious little chance of any marine traffic picking them up, either. Art!
Imagine, also, that you see and even record Sky 1 in action, blowing an UFO to smitheroons, which is like smithereens but worse. So what? No airport or military airfield on the planet will report any such craft returning to them, nor will any of the attendant plane-spotters make such a report. If the interception is over water there won't even be any wreckage to be found. Covert, as I said.
The other part of 'Silence' is for all the Skydiver crews, who have to maintain a tight-lipped silence about exactly what their 'marine engineering contract' consists of in real life. 'North Sea oil rig resupply tender crew' might be one response to inquisitive family members or friends. Though if told the truth they'd probably assume they were being lied to.
Of course, I might be over-thinking this .....
Slow News Day At The BBC
I am guessing, otherwise why have such a sidebar item on their News website? Art!
Conrad does not begrudge Swift her musical success, and I think her fiancé is a species of South Canadian sportsman, but why on earth are they speculating here on what their wedding 'could' look like? Moonbase Alpha has been adrift for 26 years, for heaven's sake! How soon they forget <shakes head sorrowfully>.
Bring On The Poison Pens And Wicked Wit!
I am referring, of course - obviously! - to the Comments on the BBC's 'Have Your Say' about the ballfoot game between Germsby Town and The Manchester United Dairies (sp?), which the Dairies team lost. As usual, there were thousands of gloating Comments, so I shall pick a couple that embody Schadenfreude.
Blonde Fur
12:56 28 Aug
No, they emphatically are not, although the comment above is as much satire as truth. Germsby's team value is a whisker over £3 million, Dairies comes in at about £280 million. Yes, those figures are correct.
Kelly
13:11 28 Aug
I like that creative noun 'omnishambles'. Watch out, Kelly, I may steal it.
A Splendid Long Read
I came across a long essay by Professor Peter Caddick-Adams yesteryon, about the background to, and current status of, the war in Ukraine. It's very long so I won't post any of it here, but if Art will put down his bowl of coal -
The Prof looking very sartorial
He mixes in a lot of C20 history with that of C21. The initial long opening paragraphs are by the blog owner, 'GMan' who establishes the Prof's credentials and that he knows what he's talking about.
The link there attached.
Which reminds me, I must get his 'Monty and Rommel: Parallel Lives' now that I've been paid.
With Thanks To Oliver
Who runs the website these train photographs are lifted from.
Engines of the Western Allies in WW2
The link there attached. Be warned, it's quite immense and will take hours to peruse. Art!
These brutes are Whitcomb diesel-electric 65 ton locomotives, imported by Perfidious Albion from South Canadian locomotive makers, which arrived in the Middle East by mid-1942.
You will notice that they have the cab in the centre, and an engine at both ends, so they can drive in either direction with equal facility. A DE locomotive uses a diesel engine to generate electricity, which powers motors affixed to the axles, thus negating the need for any overhead or external electricity supply - which was entirely absent in the Middle East.
AND WITH THAT WE ARE DONE!
* 'Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organisation'
No comments:
Post a Comment