Which Your Humble Scribe has heard on teh Interwebz at various times, nodded in agreement and passed on, without thinking too hard about where it came from.
Today I discovered that it's a quote from "Anchorman", a comedy I have never seen, although it does star the normally reliable Will Ferrell, so it may be worth a scope. Art!
Yes yes yes I omitted the 'Boy' because it might offend girls, and we need all the audience we can get.
ANYWAY I have a Reddit tale of woe to relate, derived from a Youtube channel, that exemplifies this saying except it won't be long enough to make up the whole Intro, so we're going to introduce a bit of padding. Thanks go out to the 'Newsflare' channel for what follows. Art!
People in a South Canadian town - probably in Texas to judge by events - were enjoying being pseuds at the local art gallery, probably sipping wine and nibbling cheese, when suddenly - Art
An escapee from their local rodeo shows up, determined to get at those cheesy nibbles (the wine not so much), to the rapid and panic-stricken flight of all the locals. Art!
As if half a ton of sweaty Texas Longhorn NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK isn't enough, here comes the cavalry. because how else do you subdue a runaway bull except from horseback? Art!
Now there's two of 'em, and between them they subdue the bull. Only 25 seconds long, this is still a classic of TEQ, and one of the main reasons insurance companies in Texas must offer a 'gored by escaped bull' option.
Here's another featuring an escaped cow, or bull, or heifer, or dogey, whatever the correct term is, I don't pretend to be an expert on livestock. Art!
Nothing go on here, nothing to see, move along now -
Suddenly things take a turn for the interesting. The channel didn't add in any text or voiceover so there's no explanation as to how a cow suddenly appeared in the middle of an urban street. It herd there was something worth seeing, perhaps? Art!
Matey lowers the window to get a better look (and shot) of the cow-motorbike interface taking place. Art!
Cow is the undisputed winner here, and I defy you to look at this from the biker's point of view and not see this as TEQ.
ANYWAY let us now get back on track with the sad tale of Well-Endowed Widower I TOLD YOU NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK, Studious Daughter, No-Value Girlfriend and NVG's daughter, Party Animal.
The main issue in this tale was that WEW possessed a beach house, which he was able to rent out and make extra money from. Art!
That's just a generic beach house for illo purposes. Well well, Emma (Studious Daughter) and Kara (Party Animal) both wanted to move into the beach house, as it was close to the colleges they would be attending. Emma puts forward her case as the beach house being a known environment that she could potentially share with a housemate, where she can study in peace and concentrate on college. Kara, on being asked to put her case, was only able to mention that she'd 'only be having guests over three times a week' when asked if there would be parties.
Bit of a flub, there, Kara. The answer should have been a resounding 'NO!'.
Overall decision, Studious Daughter Emma is the winner! Art!
Nil Value Girlfriend and Party Animal were very angry about what they claimed was unfair favouritism, because they both felt entitled to both WEW's money and property, in a stunning combination of greed, selfishness and complacency.
You can probably guess the trajectory of events here.
Suddenly NVG and Kara were out of WEW's life, but not before NVG told him to leave his house for a week whilst she looked for new accommodation. She was politely shown the door and she and PA ended up living with a female work colleague.
For all of a week. This is where the escalation sets in. Art!
In order to retain a roof over her head, NVG was inveigled into doing what WEW coyly described as 'activities', which meant she lasted all of a week before crawling back to WEW, who politely yet firmly declined her appeal. Art!
Next thing WEW knew, NVG is living in a homeless shelter. Kara? Well, she didn't need to worry about a roof since she was in prison. She and a group of her hard-partying friends had stolen a car and crashed it into a pawn shop to steal the stock. They were inept enough to get caught.
The suspicion is that Emma knew of Kara's already-criminal background, without informing on her, which is one reason for no beach house for her. Nor do people wake up one morning and commit to going Grand Theft Auto - again the suspicion is that she'd gotten away with lesser crimes leading up to this one.
Thank you, Ron, for today's title.
"The War Illustrated Edition 205 April 29th 1945"
Just so we're clear, the pictures appearing in TWI for the European Theatre are now being taken in Germany itself, now that the Rhine, the last significant barrier to Allied advances, has been crossed. Art!
A touch of gloasting about that title - "Dortmund-Ems Canal Now A Negligible Ditch". The Teutons will have blown the bridge in order to delay any pursuit, and the demolition must have been very recent as otherwise the Royal Engineers would have spanned it with a Bailey Bridge. Unfortunately for those who derived great delight in property damage, the canal banks have been breached and all the water has drained away, so the infantry can squelch their muddy way across a no-longer effective barrier. O dear.
The Mouse That Squeaked
Rather quietly, too. You may not be aware of the 'Reform' party here in the UK, which is understandable, as they have only 5 MPs. A bit pretentious to call themselves a 'party' when they can't muster a six-a-side football team. Art!
Where this item's inspiration comes from. Methinks Farrago dreams about becoming the political equivalent of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick, except with less box office draw and more slavering.
And that's quite enough flirting with the P-word today.
Another By-Line Inspiration
Your Humble Scribe does seem to have a weakness for books that are able to double as doorstops, doesn't he? Which means this article caught my eye. Art!
Are they going to cheat by adding in series or will they abide by the single bound volume rule? because otherwise "A Dance To The Music Of Time" is going to bestride their charts. Will "Against The Day" and the unexpurgated "The Stand" be in there? Conrad hesitates to take a peek as there's a considerable risk I'll be stuck there until dusk. Art!
I warned you! Art?
Yes, this is one I've already read. It has to be the unexpurgated version, as the original had a couple of hundred pages hacked out of it thanks to editors and Stephen's star not being quite as ascendant at the time of publication. Art?
No, they don't mention Thomas Pynchon. But they do have several works I've never heard of, so we may come back to this one.
Finally -
The weather has deteriorated somewhat, which is one of the treacherous things about March's climate, where it can go from balmy if breezy in the morning to freezing and sleety by dusk. Time for a consolatory pot of tea.
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