You Might Well Be Forgiven For Thinking Conrad's Stomach Is Driving
Not today, for I am full of sandwich and Darjeeling. It's going to be a while until I get onto the - er - meat of the matter, so to speak, so bear with us whilst we zig-zag wildly yet creatively across the pages. Art!
These are both port of buffalo, except one is the right-hand side and the other is a harbour in New York.
Please note that Conrad is showing the African buffalo, NOT the South Canadian bison, which the natives there have been misidentifying for centuries, laggardly blaggardly dastards that they are. The word 'Buffalo' comes from the Italian 'Bufalo' which doubtless has a Latin root, and which goes all the way back to the Greek 'Bous' for ' Bull'. Art!
This is the Byzantine palace of Boukoleon, or 'Bull-Lion', so-named after a statue of a bull and lion fighting each other, which was placed in the harbour at Constantinople.
ANYWAY let us continue with the theme of 'Buffalo', because once again whose blog is it? Art!
One doubts if you've ever heard of this variety of buffalo. For what you are looking at is a pre-Second Unpleasantness fighter, designed and built by the South Canadians to replace their biplane fighters. No, the appearance has not been exaggerated by Roy Cross, Airfix's house artist, the plane really did look like a beer-barrel with wings.
Were you to pay attention to the USAF, the RAF or the RAAF, and even the MLKNIL*, then you'd not come away with a very favourable impression of the Brewster Buffalo. Art!
They found it sluggish and lacking in manoeuvrability and the Dutch found the only way to best Japanese fighters was to dive on them out of the sun and then run. Yes, the Dutch involvement in the Pacific war is a bit of a niche subject. Not today, Vulnavia.
HOWEVER! and you knew that was coming, it was a different story in Finland when they fought the Sinisters, because Finnish pilots performed prodigies in their flying beer kegs. It seems that the Sinister aircraft and pilots were both inferior to the humble Buffalo; also, it mounted four Browning .50 calibre machine guns, making it a very hard-hitting opponent at this point of the Unpleasantness. Art!
Swings and roundabouts. Then, too, the Canuckistanians have an airframe also dubbed the 'Buffalo', it being a freight plane able to take off and land on very short runways. This useful in the snowy regions, where it's difficult to keep runways clear of snow and thanks to the Buff, you only need to clear a short span. Art!
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| DHC-5 |
This puppy can lift 17 tons of cargo off the runway over a distance of 370 metres and if you want a comparison, the C-5 needs 2,500 metres. Art!
Here you go again, the Port of Buffalo. Located at the eastern end of Lake Erie, it's the 28th most important port in South Canada. As for the name, your guess is as good as mine. Okay, okay, okay, I did a bit of my habitual digging and found that it came from Buffalo Creek, the origin of which name is disputed, except THERE ARE NO BUFFALO THERE. Just so we're clear. Art!
Yes, these are buffalo soldiers, as black soldiers of South Canada were known. What, you expected cavalry ridden by livestock? Pshaw away with you! Art?
This is the LVT-4, which in British service, because they loved to dub big metal monsters with animal names, was known as the 'Buffalo'. It was ultimately derived from a South Canadian amphibious tractor used to travel the Everglade swamps. This version had a ramp that could be lowered, meaning it could carry troops and cargo and vehicles. Art!
Here's one from the bow or front, whichever term is correct, just emerging from the waters, probably of the Rhine. They were used on a large scale in the Pacific but not in Europe until later in 1944, though a few were around at the D-Day landings in Normandy. Art!
The Teutons were probably equal parts impressed and horrified at this mechanical ingenuity, especially as how numerous these herds of Buffalo were. Art!
The British tended to cram as many troops into their Buffaloes as possible, to the tune of up to 40 troops, so that last picture shows what must be a whole company landing at Walcheren, without getting their feet wet. Art!
This shows one of the ubiquitous British Carriers being unloaded, carrying a couple of tons of supplies. Note the twin gun turrets on the LVT-4, the better to keep interfering Teuton audiences at bay. Art!
Here they are at the Rhine crossing, and those bottom two are the same photograph, one from my "The War Illustrated" and the other from a short film about the 'Funnies' of the British 79th Division, presented by the splendid David Fletcher. You can see the reason why Buffaloes were needed here in the background; the Teutons, scamps that they were, had demolished all the bridges.
And that's enough about Buffaloes for one Intro.
Yesteryon
Or it may have been a different day, which is howlingly ironic considering I'm going to be banging on about time travel in reverse.
This all stems from an item about Michael Mann and his top tips for screenwriting and directing, one of which was to begin with the end scene for your film, and work backwards to determine exactly how it was arrived at.
Conrad then simply had to boast about works he'd read concerning fiction that goes backward in time. Art!
This is "The Reversible Man" by that creative bampot Alan Moore, wherein a man experiences his life in reverse, from his death above, all the way back to birth. Art!
This rather poignant part is where he parts company with his wife, then girlfriend, then complete stranger never to be seen again. Art!
That's Alan, proudly displaying the hedge he is growing on his chin.
CAUTION! Hurricane Hazard!
One of the weather conditions in This Sceptred Isle that is gladly lacking is the hurricane, also the typhoon, tsunami, earthquake and volcano. Over The Pond in South Canada they are regularly inflicted with these catastrophes - go look on Youtube under 'Geography King' and revel in vicarious appreciation of South Canada's widespread 'conditions'.
Here's one. Art!
Bad traffic and weather. This might be anywhere on the M62 for all the torment and tribulation being undergone. Ah, but - Art!
If this were a film the script would read ENTER HOUSE STAGE RIGHT. Not what you expect to experience whilst queuing at the lights, is it? Art!
Determined to go out in a blaze of glory, HOUSE manages to hit the power lines hard enough to break them. Very Old Sparky. Art!
Because houses in South Canada are made from kindling and navel fluff, this one has disintegrated completely, which means the insurance company are going to be in a very bad mood, but which is quite good news for the traffic stopped in this jam, as they get to live.
What You Might Call An Ooops Moment
There seems to be no shortage of Youtube channels willing to dog-pile onto the 'Influencer' Johnny Somali, whom you will recall is currently stuck in South Korea whilst his multiple charges and trials get underway. Art!
This provocative thumbnail is from 'Legal Mindset', and I'd take the literal quotation with a bucketful of sodium chloride, as LM is one of those delighting in dog-piling. However - first occurrence today! - if the sense of this posting is correct, Mister Somali can look forward to a verrrrry bleak time of it in court. You see, Korea was a colony - under Japanese occupation for 40 years, where the yoke of Nippon was excessively brutal, oppressive and bloody. Koreans remember these times with extreme antipathy and matey is going to regret stirring these passions up once sentencing arrives.
Bring on the wheelie-bins of popcorn!
It Is My Sad Duty To Inform You -
That Tesla's stock price has increased somewhat from it's recent dismal low, and if Art can get off his waffle-patterned behind -
Mind you, it did take Mopey Dick pimping the brand like a used-car salesman, which is about his level. Art!
I bet he expects a percentage of the stock value as a reward for turning the office of the Prez into a tacky commercial venture. What a classy act!
* Militaire Luchtvaart van het Koninklijk Nederlands-Indisch Leger, or the Dutch East Indies Air Force.
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