Which Is Finnish For 'Frog'
Nor is it similar to the same word in Estonian, which is 'Konn', just so we're clear. Today's Intro is centred around that single word, because I originally had an idea about it and then things kind of branched out, as they tend to do in my mind when it settles like a flock of ravens into an orchard.
Now, were I to harp on about deadly frogs, you'd be perfectly entitled to consider the sinister tree-frogs of Central and South America, which exude poison from their skin and thus render themselves inedible. Art!
Manchester's Victoria University used to have a small vivarium with these frogs as part of the ensemble.
Entitled yet WRONG! for we don't accept the first thing that comes into our head as the body of an Intro, or it would be a very short Intro.
You might consider the frogs deadly by virtue of association with things deadly in their own right. Art!
Once again you have to be of Conrad's vintage to remember 'Frog' model kits, as they are long gone now. They made both conventional plastic (injection-moulded) kits and rubber-banded kits that actually flew. They were around for 40 years and specialised in producing unusual kits that nobody else (such as Airfix or Tamiya) did, like the 'Westland Wallace', which I'd never heard of before today and I bet it's new to you, too. Art!
The terror of the skies. Perhaps.
In a rather bizarre twist of fate, Frog - an acronym whose origin I cannot define for certain - went into receivership in the mid-Seventies, and guess who bought up all the non-Axis aircraft moulds? The Sinister Union, who retailed them under the trade name 'Novo'.
Perhaps more a dead Frog than a deadly one. Art!
Here you see one of the patented British pig-sticking pointy objects that severely discomfited whichever enemy they were opposing at the time: to wit, a bayonet*. This is the 1907 Sword-pattern eighteen-incher, which will have been whetted to a sharp edge, so the problem is how do you keep it ready for action without inflicting serious injury upon yourself? You use the upper device, known as a 'bayonet frog', a sort of miniature fabric scabbard that the blade remains within until fixed.
Perhaps more a thread frog than a deadly one.
Then there is the expression 'A frog in the throat', which comes from one of those medieval fears about body horror. In this one, people were convinced that drinking water contaminated with frogspawn, which is a disgusting enough concept all on it's own, meant the eggs would hatch inside one and the hacking cough occasionally heard meant the live, full-grown frogs were trying to escape. Art!
Conrad unsure if he's coughing it out or dining on it. Whichever, he doesn't look very happy about it, poor bloke.
Assuming he's ingesting it, more a fed frog than a deadly frog.
ANYWAY we are now entering onto the real subject of this Intro, which indeed a deadly Frog. Art!
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| Balikpapan, Borneo, July 1945 |
Yes, it's our old pal the Matilda tank again, in an Australian version called, for unknown reasons, the 'Frog', which sported dirty great flamethrower in place of the main gun. Just to make sure it could cope with dug-in infantry, bunkers, the jungle and caves, there were 80 gallons of fuel in the turret. In the first picture above they seem to be carrying out training or practice, as the two standing soldiers aren't wearing helmets or carrying weapons, and look far too chirpy to be at risk of sudden death or discombobulation.
The lower picture more closely resembles business as usual, with the skulking soldier in the background hanging back and wearing a helmet and pack. You can see that the burst of flame has just stopped and there is a gap between the muzzle of the flamethrower and the blazing fuel it just spat in a spate of spite. The target is a Japanese bunker and we shall move on hastily - Art!
These two shots illustrate the 90-yard range of a Frog, which put it well beyond the range of anything Japanese infantry carried, and their anti-tank guns might as well have fired jellied eel at a Matilda for all the good they would do.
Most definitely the deadliest of frogs. The F.R.O.G. is a tale for another BOOJUM!
Another Of Michael's Tipa
Michael "The" Mann, obviously - of course! the director, producer and author. His second tip, in the vlog I captured from "Outstanding Screenplays", and this one is very prescient. Art!
If you haven't seen "Thief" yet, then put it on your 'To Watch' list. It was The Mann's film debut, based on a biographical work by a professional cat burglar, and he kept things realistic on set by keeping ex-criminals as advisers and chatting with them about their life and lifestyle. "Get into a sub-culture and really understand it" as the man himself said. Why so? Because doing so allows characters to be developed who have depth and realism, rather than being a walking stereotype. Art!
It's a striking poster, no doubt, yet Conrad isn't convinced it has much to do with the content of the film itself. Persuade me in the Comments.
No "TWI" today, we've had quite enough of matters martial. Instead, here's a picture of lovely fluffy lambs gambolling in the pasture. Art!
Perhaps 'gambolling' is reaching a bit
Our Journey With Bernie
Is getting progressively harder over time as we get closer to the end of the current run of FPG trading cards, which is the 1993 "Masters of the Macabre". We hit this problem about Card #70 and the ones I was trying to capture in pictures, #82 "Guardian of the Well of Souls"and #83 "Defender of the Keep" are entirely absent on teh Interwebz.
So - Art!
Something generic
If this problem persists I may just jump to the next FPG collection, which is the 'Frankenstein Subset', and see if that is better represented with the lower-numbered cards. O the travails of a blog-content creator.
Mopey Dick The Great Orange Whale
I have found a reliable way of predicting what Donold Judas Trump will do in any given situation: imagine what a spiteful, petty seven-year old would do, multiply their physical age by eleven and reduce their IQ by half and Hey Pesto! you get his response. You can't call what he does by the P-word, it's all bitter revenge or whatever the last adviser he spoke to informed about. Art!
A visage untroubled by the bother of intellect
Fox News, who blow hot and cold on DJ Tango, put up a clip yesteryon of his bloviating about something or other, with a stock price widget showing the market dropping by the second as he spoke. Art!
How it started How it's going, 15 seconds later
That worm in his brain has a lot to answer for! And this is from Fox, which means they might be getting nervous about what Pumpkinhead is going to do to the South Canadian economy. One suspects Putinpot is laughing and rubbing his hands with glee at what's going down. He doesn't realllllly have room for amusement given that he's already done to his economy what Pimpkinhead is doing to his.
Talking Of Whales -
As one thing tends to lead to a whole rabbit warren of other entities in Conrad's mind, I suddenly remembered about "Moby Gleep", a bizarre and rather disconcerting painting from the Seventies. Art!
That's Moby Gleep attacking the 'Peckwad', and there's a whole lot of other puns riffing on "Moby Dick" associated with this oil painting. It dates from 1978, and I don't think I've ever thought about it since then, which is either excellent recall of a very distant memory, or a symptom of too much gin and old age. A whole lot more entertaining that the novel it spoofs, which I gave up on before reaching page 100.
Finally -
Better close the window, we have a Team meeting at 13:00 and there's always too much traffic on Rochdale Road to allow it to impinge on our convo.
Also, been complimented by a caller and told I should definitely do voice-over work. Rather a recurrent theme, that.
* We shall gloss over that the name comes from the French "Bayonne"
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